I'm going through a very down, dark blue period. I'm feeling dumped by just about everybody, bad at my job, bad at being a parent, bad at being a person. Consequently, I'm binge-eating, thinking about drinking a lot (though not actually drinking a lot), sitting on my ass when I need to get things done, and comfort shopping (which we can't afford and, of course, makes me feel worse). There has been a point in every day at which I am either on the verge of tears or outright crying. I'm a big, sloppy, hot mess of neuroses and doubts.
I don't know why I go through this every once in a while. This time I can pinpoint the things that set it off but, when I think about it objectively, those things shouldn't have affected me so greatly.
So much of it comes from my insecurity and over-sensitivity. I take things very personally, I know. But when two people you have considered friends seem to dump you at once, how can you not take that personally? Worse- I have NO IDEA what I might have done or said. It's like suddenly they just got sick of me. Probably most of you are saying at this point "And why WOULDN'T they be sick of you, Whiny McGripey-Pants?"
There's no real point to this, I guess, except to say: I'm Sad. I could do with some cheering.
