Sep 17 2004

I’m a little rusty with the digital journal-thingy, but I don’t expect that anyone reads this anyway. Things are shit today. I don’t have a job, I’m clinically depressed, it’s pouring rain outside and my basement is flooded. Nice. I had things that I cared about down there- not anymore. I almost lost my wedding dress, but it was wrapped in a plastic dress bag, so it didn’t get wet. The thing is, I had been doing SO WELL with the depression thing, but this is kind of a set back.

I also got a rejection letter yesterday from a job I really wanted. I expected to get one, but it still sucked. I do think I just got a job at Home Depot. yipee. I get to sell paint and not make enough money to live on- not even close! The job market here is one of the worst in the country. Why do I have to love my husband so much? It would be much easier if I hated him and could just divorce him and leave, but alas…

I miss my friends (those that I haven’t chased away). I miss my family. A three hour time difference doesn’t seem like much, but it has really sucked when trying to find a time to call. I’m a big bummer dressed up like a girl right now. If you want to be happy go do something more productive with your life than sitting here and reading this crap.

I did find an old movie that I had never seen and am now in love with: The Philadelphia Story with Katherine Hepburn. I think she’s fabulous.

I cleaned the house today and it looks really nice. I had to be here all day because someone was supposed to come and fix some doors, but he never showed and never called. I’m now just waiting for John to get home. I have his warm pajamas ready and a slice of cake and glass of milk since he had to take the bus home. He should have been home a while ago and I’m a bit concerned. I’m sure he’s fine, but I really miss him. It’s hard being by myself all day with nothing more to do than clean the house. I don’t know how some women do it.

I hope to hear from Home Depot in the next few days. They had to run a background check on me…I wonder what they’ll find? I think if I get the job I’ll call myself the Home Despot. I’m not sure what that would entail, but it makes me giggle. Would I make them build me a throne out of do-it-yourself plumbing fixtures? Command different wall treatments to suit my changing moods? Make them plant a flower bulb at every place where my footsteps land? We’ll see. At least I look good in orange.