May 31 2005

John and I cleaned the house over the three day weekend. Well, I should say that John did most of the hard work. He really has been fabulous about not making me be around chemicals and stuff. But he went even further- he vacuumed (usually my job). Then, because that vacuum we have had for YEARS and was starting to smell really bad like burning rubber, he actually went to Target and helped me pick out a new vacuum. What a guy! He was kind of excited about it, too. John has this funny little anal clean streak in him that extends to the floors, apparently, but not as often to his stacks of papers. (Though he did take care of a huge amount of those as well.) He was so jazzed about the new vacuum that he did a round with it as soon as I had it put together. It was really kind of amazing and gross how much it picked up after we thought that the floor was clean. Out other vacuum was worse than we thought, I guess.

I slacked on the jobs that were supposed to be mine, but I suppose I’ll be making up for it by being the personal chauffeur/chef for the time that our guest is here.

I also read almost a whole book just yesterday. It was a book I have read a few times before, but one that I tend to go back to when I’m feeling a need to escape. Man, do I wish I could move to France. Or, perhaps, Italy. Somewhere warm with good food where I can’t speak enough of the language to care about politics, but know enough to order a hot chocolate and pastry at a sidewalk cafe on a beautiful morning. Just feed me and keep me in books. Ahhh.

We are going to have our next ultrasound on the 14th. The last midwife visit went so well that they weren’t going to give me one, but I asked and they relented. I have to say that I want to make sure all the parts are there and in the right place- y’know medical stuff- otherwise my insurance won’t cover it. I guess I can’t admit that I just want to see my little piglet again and maybe be able to get a firmer idea about the gender. Really, I just want to see him again. I truly think (even though I worry out loud) that everything is fine. I know he’s with me all the time, but I miss him.

I cleaned out and got the drawers ready for Piglet’s clothes over the weekend. It was so much fun to go through everything (yet again) and fold and sort it. I have so much stuff that my sister handed down to me that I’m not sure where I’ll put things I get from my baby showers (I know it’s bad to assume I’ll get stuff, but I’ve more-or-less been told that I will). I’m certainly not going to turn anything away! One of the reasons I’m having this kid is so I can have a dolly to dress up. (Is it bad that I’m only partially kidding?) Like I told Naomi, at heart, I’m a material girl (and I hope the song is stuck in your head now like it is in mine!).

May 31 2005

One more thing- Sorry about the Star Wars post. I got a little vehement and carried away. I can usually restrain my foul language (at least when around people other than John), and I’m sorry, to those of you who are sensitive, about my inability
to do so with that post. I can’t promise that I won’t do it again some day, but I think I have it out of my system for a while.

Thank you for your understanding.

May 27 2005

DISCLAIMER:
*****Don’t read this if you haven’t seen the new Star Wars and don’t want it ruined or if you have and liked it and don’t want to hate me*****

That said: I HATED this movie. Where do I even begin?

It was WAY too long. My ass hurt so bad from half-way through on that I was at the point of whimpering. And I don’t even have hemorrhoids! I was so bored that I almost fell asleep on John’s shoulder. I would have if he hadn’t lost so much weight in the last year that his shoulder isn’t the comfy pillow it once was.

The acting- oh hell- the acting!

What about the pregnancy? Did she get a month more pregnant every day? It was like she had the babies in a week! And the birth scene? Give me a fuckin break. Did they cut them out of her or not? If they cut them out of her, why did she whimper each time- she shouldn’t have felt a thing. If she gave birth vaginally, why didn’t she scream more? StupidStupidStupid! And why weren’t the babies bloody AT ALL?

Anikin- Wow, how dumb was he? They drew out his petulant little boy act and then raced though his psychological transformation into Vadar. And why, if he thought he was doing the right thing, did he kill the younglings? Why wouldn’t he have tried to turn them to his side and protected them? Yeah, like the pre-adolescents were in the “jedi plot” thing. Right.

The giant lizard? Why did it keep shrieking? At first I had to check to make sure it wasn’t me and then I just wanted to join in.

I HATE WOOKIES. I hate the way they talk. One wookie? Annoying. A whole world of wookies? The Horror, The Horror!

Oh crap! And what about Senator Palpatine’s head? Was this Star Wars or Star Trek?! I don’t remember it ever looking like that in the original movies. It was just gross and FAKE looking. I guess they ran out of money. Or something.

And we can’t forget the unbelievably annoying droids. Why did they need speaking parts? I’m sure they really furthered the plot development.

Why did Amidala (is that her stupid name?) sleep in a nightgown with pearls draped over her arms and a brooch in the middle of her chest? Can that really be comfortable? Am I missing something here? Plus, her sleeping with Anikin? GROSS. Wasn’t she one of his guardians at one point? Maybe I should call her Woody Allen. (I did have this problem, among MANY others with the previous movie, too)

And who is so lame that they die of a broken heart. “She’s lost her will to live”. Buck up, bitch. You have two new babies to take care of! Lazy-ass teenager-fucker.

Bright notes:

How cute were the younglings (before they were mercilessly slaughtered)?

How cute were the babies?

Every time Yoda came on screen I started singing “Just a gigolo” (http://www.withlouis.com/film/yoda/) to myself… Nearly the only laugh I got.

Overview: suck-donkey-dick movie. Bring an ass pad if you must see it.

May 24 2005

I read this whole group of pregnant lady blogs everyday while I’m at work. It’s one of the few things I do regularly around here. I am so bored nearly everyday that I have really come to count on these poor women to entertain me and entertain me well, dammit. I yearn for new posts daily. It makes me feel like I actually talk to other people- a little sick and pathetic, actually. Anyway, I finally realized that, in hoping to hear from them, I have neglected to reciprocate for any who look daily for posts here (you must be even more bored than I, you poor tortured soul). Not fair, right? I just have so little to say right now that it’s hardly worth the time…

One particularly bright note: a good friend from when John and I were in undergrad has re-established communications. My friends from away know that, though I pretty much will never initiate communication, I am pretty good about writing back and the lack of initiation DOES NOT mean that I don’t think about them almost daily. At least, I hope they know. It is distinctly good to have this friend back in contact as she is witty and clever and has all sorts of helpful advice on baby-having. I need lots right now. It’s just too bad that she is also 2500 miles away. But ahh, the wonders of email!

All of the exciting things we have lined up for this summer haven’t started yet. The first- a visit from the newest member of the stats department here at CMU while he searches for housing- will start on the first of June (I think). I am thinking about throwing a dinner party so that he can meet some other faculty with whom John is friends. I am toying with two different menus right now- one a fresh, Tuscan, summer-y, pork main dish and the other a gourmet, rich, Californian cuisine with a chicken roulade main. Both heavy on the fresh veggies. The Tuscan dishes are totally new to me, but would be exciting if they came out right. The Californian are more familiar but hard to screw up. There’s also the thing about pork- not all people enjoy its possibilities. I used to be anti-pork, but I now find that it has its place and can be quite interesting and exciting. I would also like to play with the flavors of venison, something with which I have very little experience. I have this vision of venison and polenta combinations or maybe with a potato-parmesan pave. Gamey and sophisticated coming together- there could be a really nice balance in there somewhere. With fresh crisp greens. And warm goat cheese. …drool…

I’m a foodie. I haven’t always been a foodie- I started pretty late- but I am a fairly dedicated one. I think being a food critic would be a dream job. I really enjoy cooking but, even more, I enjoy coming up with menus. If I could work at a restaurant just thinking up new menus everyday, I would be one happy chickie. I’m far from a perfect cook, though I have had some triumphs. I have made some nasty mistakes along the way, but I think I’ve learned from them all. None, thankfully, have been fatal(!). I cook pretty normal stuff on a daily basis and my husband is always well-fed and happy (so he says). My problem is that I can never stick to stuff I know or have done before when I am cooking for other people. I love having the excuse to do it up big and I always choose things that are terribly difficult. The harder the better it seems sometimes. John thinks I’m insane, but I honestly can’t help it. I like doing special things for other people. I feel like it lets them know that I appreciate that they came and I like having them there. Is that so wrong? Of course, if things don’t come out right, they might get a very different (and unintentional) message… Oh well. Hopefully they know I tried.

We are in week 18 of this pregnancy now. We have a midwife appointment on Thursday. I am excited because we will get to set up our second (and probably final) ultrasound at that appointment. I really want to find out for sure, if at all possible, what the gender of this baby is so that we can stop calling it Piglet (a name my Grandmother HATES). We are 80% sure right now that it’s a boy, but that was from a very early scan and it should be much clearer this time. Then my mom can go really shopping wild.

We have finally decided on going with a crib rather than the co-sleeper. For lots of reasons that I won’t get into unless someone asks. It was a hard decision, but I think it will offer the most flexibility. The problem now? Finding a crib that is in our budget. Holy shit, are those things expensive! I’m sorry, but I have a problem spending $500-$800 for something like that. I was thinking more in the $150-$200 range. They are hard to find. This crap just never ends, does it? Everything is always more expensive, more difficult, more time-consuming, etc. than you ever imagine. Somehow, I’m afraid that this is a good lesson for parenthood in general.

I guess I had more to say than I realized. I should probably justify my existence here at work by finding something to do now. Wish me luck.

(P.S.- Leave comments. I’m a narcissistic fool!)

May 20 2005

UPDATES!

Yoko is NOT going blind!!!!!!!! We got a second referral to a vet that was willing to see her MUCH sooner. He was wonderful. When we went in and he stained her eyes, he knew instantly what was wrong. It is an auto-immune disorder called Pannus, found only in German Shepherd and German Shepherd mix (like Yokie) dogs. If we had let it go it would have blinded her, but, since we caught it, all it means is cheap eye drops everyday for the rest of her life. She is more than worth the small expense and trouble. I get to keep my puppy!! (Well… puppy is relative-she’s 6.)

Other exciting news: I have an obviously brilliant child- a prodigy, I’m sure. Piglet has graduated, as of week 17, to movements that I have felt from the outside! I felt him three days in a row. It’s a little creepy, feeling like there is some creature in there struggling to get out or something (think Alien). John has not felt it yet, but he knows his turn will come and so isn’t too disappointed.

We are going to have a busy summer. One of John’s aquaintances has gotten a teaching position at Carnegie Mellon and is going to stay with us for a couple days while he does some final shopping for a place to live. H.A., a friend from undergrad, is going to be moving here to Pittsburgh to go to Duquesne University. He won’t be staying with us, but we are still very excited to see him again and perhaps take advantage of his prime housing location on the strip (a really fun part of the city). Whaddaya think, H.A.? My Mom will be coming into town with one of my Aunts and MY CAR in early/mid July. We also have the Pixies, the Pittsburgh Art Festival, the Dirty Dozen Brass Band and the Blues festival to look forward to. Plus, we start Childbirth classes in July. Whew. I’m overwhelmed. I just hope it makes the time go fast. I can’t wait to get out of Pittsburgh! One More Year!!

I have really popped in the last week. I finally really look pregnant and not fat. I haven’t experienced as much…ahem…backward growth… as I expected, nor side, for that matter. Yeah, there’s been a little, but if you didn’t know what I looked like naked before, you wouldn’t be able to tell a difference. I sure hope you don’t know what I looked like before… Anyway, all the growth has been in my belly, but I expect that could change at almost any time. I have my next midwife appointment next week so we’ll see how I’ve done on the whole weight gain issue. I hadn’t gained quite enough last time and I was urged to gain 10 pounds by week 20. That was at week 14. That’s a lot of weight gain, and, not having a scale at home, I’m really not sure where I stand. I don’t feel that much heavier. The stairs have been much harder on my knees lately, though.

Oh yeah, and I beat John at Trivial Pursuit. SWEET! I’ve never even come close before!! Maybe the BabyBrain hasn’t quite gotten me yet. OR maybe it’s gotten HIM instead!

May 12 2005

WOW. It has been a seriously long time since I have been able to post. The host site was down for some upgrades and, because I think the lovely fellow does most everything himself in his spare time, it took a little longer than I thought it would. I had some withdrawals- I hadn’t realized how attached I had become to being able to post/vent frequently.

So…Newness. We got Pixies tickets! PIXIES!! We tried to go about a year ago but they sold out too fast. We got a chance to buy some tickets just before the show, but they were at an outrageous $100 per and so we passed. This time I think I was the first one to have them. I got them from the presale on the Pixies website and they were only $35 each. Super Score!! I am going to be 20 weeks (5 mo.) pregnant, but I’m goin’ anyway. You gotta start these kids early on good music or they may end up liking… Britney or… Korn (shudder). We’ll probably stay back a little ways for most of it so it won’t be TOO intense and so I can avoid elbows to the gut. No mosh pits for this girl. (Do they even do that crap anymore?)

Little Piglet has grown enough now that I can feel him(?) moving when I lie still at night. The other night I was having trouble sleeping and Pig was having a dance party in there. It was like trying to sleep when your upstairs neighbor is having a party, only from the inside… and not noisy. Okay, maybe not much like that at all, but distracting all the same. It is completely cool to feel Piggie move, though, and I can’t wait until there is enough outside movement that John can feel it too.

For Mother’s day, I went out and bought some baby clothes that I couldn’t resist and some presents for John. I also got a boyfriend..I mean a body pillow. It is a really cool one. I don’t know how I ever did without it. Even when I read in bed it gives me lower back support and elevates my feet. It could only be better if it gave massages. The baby clothes were all green and yellow. I’ve actually decided that the unisex clothes are much more to my taste than the boy or girl stuff. The sexed stuff is all too often sexist and stupid. I love the unisex stuff with circus animals on it, especially the giraffes and lions. I think giraffes are so cute. The elephants are wonderful too and all three animals make adorable cartoons. I’m going to hold off on getting more stuff because I know my Mom already has a box for me and who knows what the rest of my family will do. They kinda like babies.

I ordered a carseat the other day. I know it’s early, but it was the best carseat I could find in the coolest print (kind of a leopard print) and it was a hugely good deal. I want time to get used to it so that I’m not left fumbling like a fool when it comes to putting Piglet in at the birth center. Yeah, great time to drop your kid. It will work really nicely in our new car.

Speaking of new car, we have purchased one (new to us, not NEW) but we won’t have it until the second week of JULY. We got a 2004 Honda CR-V like I have been wanting since 1997. The problem is that it is in California and we are in Pennsylvania and my Mom can’t drive it out until July. I’m grateful that she can drive it out at all but I WANT MY CAR DAMMIT! I’m being patient and understanding, really I am. My current car is steadily driving itself into the ground. My neighbor pointed out last night that one of its headlights is out now. I can’t wait to be rid of the junk heap. It needs so much work that it is only worth about $500 now- pretty pitiful. Time for a new car.

Yoko, our wonderful doggie, is going blind. She is only six. The poor baby was having some funny eye trouble so, as a dutiful doggie-mama, I took her to the vet figuring it would be allergies or something. Not, it turns out. The doc couldn’t find anything wrong in her eye or her blood and deduced that it is most likely glaucoma (insert dog smoking pot joke here). The poor little girl is in pain and will no longer keep her right eye open. It also weeps all the time. It’s enough to make me cry when I look at her. We have to go to a goddamn dog ophthalmologist to have it properly diagnosed and to get the medication to make her stop being in pain and stop going blind but the fuckers won’t see us until June 10. Until then they are going to let my dog suffer and degenerate. I could KILL. How could medical “professionals” be so fucking heartless? I don’t know what to do. If there are any suggestions… I don’t mind having a blind dog- I think we could all cope. It’s the pain she’s in I can’t stand.

So, good and bad since last I wrote. I’m sure there’s more I’m forgetting- I’m good at that lately.