Aug 30 2005

I had a major realization about Cole a couple weeks ago. (Did I already write about this?) I was driving to the grocery store when I looked over into a driveway and caught a glimpse of a precious little boy. What made it different was that he was probably no more than 4 years old and he was wearing glasses.

Doesn’t sound strange, does it?

Well, for me it was a huge smack in the face. I had never thought about the possibility of Cole having to wear glasses as a child, but there is actually a huge possibility that he will. John wears a very strong prescription (though you can’t tell) and is legally blind without his glasses. He needed glasses when he was a child and didn’t get them (long story) so I didn’t have any pictures of him as a kid (don’t have many pictures, period) wearing any.

As most parents probably have done, I had made a little picture in my head of what I thought Cole would look like. This COMPLETELY changed that picture for me. It was really strange and I had a hard time wrapping my head around it. I know it sounds crazy that it would effect me so much, but it was if I woke up one morning and all of my hair had turned blonde (it’s very dark brown, for those who don’t know).

Anyway… it was trippy. I don’t know how else to explain it.

My big boy, aka: husband, started school today. I think he’s probably partly nervous about what work and stress will be dumped on him this semester and partly excited to be back around the people he loves to talk to. He was very cute this morning. He actually got up at the same time I did, was dressed and cleanly shaved by the time I had finished breakfast and was out the door right behind me. I gave him a quick lift to the bus stop and kissed him before he hopped out to wait in the rain. What a precious. I would have felt like his mommy except that that would be pretty sick (I liked watching his butt too much as he crossed the road!).

Today I’m thinking of working on a more formal outline of the schedule of “things that must be done before baby arrives”. We only have a few weekends left, and that’s only if he decides to wait the whole time until his actual due date. I guess I should start with the really important things and move to the piddly things that would just be nice to get done. That way, even if he does come early, the big stuff will be finished. I’m glad that we didn’t choose to do a nursery- not only would we not have room for my mom when she comes but I’d have to be stressing about getting that finished on top of everything else and I just don’t need that. I don’t think he’ll really care that he doesn’t have his own room. At least he has his own bed.

Oh, and yesterday? No treat.

Aug 29 2005

One more weekend down in the countdown to parenthood, and it was a pretty good one. Despite a sore throat and head, I managed to soldier through and have a great time with our friend Josh who was visiting from California. We hadn’t seen him in over a year and it ws really good to catch up in person. Congrats to him, too, on the new job.

We went to the lovely bakery Saturday morning and got croissants. It was a bit late, so they weren’t fresh-out-of-the-oven gorgeous, but still rather good. It was a fun change from the usual cereal and soymilk routine. Then we went out to a movie- Broken Flowers. We all thought it was fairly good (I liked it quite a bit, but I don’t want to speak for the others), but the best part of the outing was hearing the review of one very vocal woman. She announced that the Bill Murray in movies like Scrooged was the Bill Murray she wanted to see and that this movie was the worst she had EVER seen. She said this very loudly to her friend and then to the ticket-taker (I’m sure it really changed his life). Josh and I just wondered together at how it seems like some people, though you know they have just come from the same theatre, have seen an entirely different movie than you. It takes all kinds… Anyway, we stayed up way too late talking that night and slept in a bit the next morning.

When we did finally get up and going, we decided that we had just enough time to get over to the Andy Warhol museum before hitting the Baby shower. I’m so glad that we went. Not only was there a “John Waters Curates Andy Warhol’s Porn” exhibit, which was fascinating, but it made me feel like the entire day wasn’t a cultural vacuum. I felt somewhat different about the baby shower.

So, I have to say that I appreciate so much all of the effort that went into my shower and all of the generosity from my coworkers. They really wanted a nice day for me and John and I’ll never forget that. BUT, it was not the kind of baby shower that I would have chosen. Most of the food was fine, thank goodness, but the cake was awful and the decorations were hideous. Even after expressing a dislike for teddy bear stuff, it was made the theme of the shower and I got a number of gifts with teddy bear decorations. And, though I thought the idea of a pinata was cute and I did like the dino pinata they picked, they forced ALL of the candy on me to take home. I don’t want that! I’m not supposed to eat that! Talk was also uncomfortable and I had to stop myself many times from making jokes/comments that I would make around family or friends.

But I sound like an ungrateful bitch, I know. I’m really not!! I didn’t expect anyone to give me a shower and I guess I shouldn’t complain. I did get some fantastic gifts! The ladies from work pitched in and gave me a rocking chair! Now I don’t have to buy one and can use the money from my family on essentials (like diapers!). Another woman gave me the Neat diaper disposal system- fantastic, and yet another gave me the fold-up swing I really wanted. Josh gave me two of his favorite Dr. Suess books with wonderful inscriptions inside. I also got lots of precious clothes and blankets and hooded towels (who can pass up those hooded towels? Not me and not them, I guess!). This kid will always be dry and wrapped snugly. We now have more blankets than we’ll ever need, but I’m keeping them all because you never know… And I’m sure it’ll be COLD this winter.

Now we also have everything for the crib except the mattress. I’m feeling a great urge to make up the crib and have it be ready and cozy so I think I’ll have to get the mattress this week. It has to happen sooner or later. After that all we really need are stockpiles of diapers and we’ll be pretty much ready. There will be a few things that I’ll want to get, but they aren’t total necessities. I think we’re in a pretty good place with only 8 weeks to go. I’m getting really excited. I saw a picture today of twin boys who were born 10 weeks too early. They were only a little more than 3 lbs each but they still looked like normal, beautiful little babies. It was so strange to think that my boy is already bigger than that and he’s still inside. It feels a little weird to imagine him so well formed and getting so big and knockin’ around inside me all day. He’s getting terrifically active. He’ll have two exercise days followed by a resting/growing day. I wonder how much of his schedule will stay the same after he’s born. I can’t believe how far and how close his due date seems. I’m all over the emotional map about him and everything related to him. Mainly, I can’t wait. I’ll tell you about my strange epiphany regarding him later.

Now I have to go to Costco and drag my tired, sick ass around. Then I’ll need a treat- I don’t know what, but it better be good.

Aug 23 2005

Ahh, yes… my vacation. I was going to write about it yesterday, but I found that I was still missing my family just a little too painfully to be able to talk about it much. We’ll see how it goes today.

We drove out to Philly on Friday night, getting there at about 10:30 (past my bedtime!). Although my family was in a hotel only about a mile away, we were unable to see them that night because they had had a hard trip in the plane (with an ACTIVE 3 1/2 year old) and had already settled in for bed. John and I were starving (I was, at least) and ordered in Chinese food which was delivered at 11:30pm. Since we didn’t have access to Yoko’s food in the car, we decided to feed her some of that- mostly rice. We paid for our laziness later…

Saturday morning John and I were up early but my family, being on pacific time, was quite a bit slower. It didn’t help that they had gone to the complimentary cocktail hours at their hotel and certainly gotten their “money’s worth” out of it. They decided to breakfast at their hotel and we were stuck with the worst coffee in the world and eating beef jerkey from the previous day’s car trip. Nice.

We finally met up with them at about 11:30am (remember that we had been waiting to see them for months- I hadn’t seen my sister or nephew in a YEAR- and they had been a mile away for HOURS now) after John and I spent the morning watching home improvment shows (it’s a really good thing that we refuse to pay for tv- we would never get anything done). They finally met up with us in the parking lot of our hotel and it was wonderful to see them all. Spencer has changed so much, but he was still so much the little boy that we lived with a year ago. It was fascinating to see. We didn’t spend much time visitng there, though, as we wanted to get on the road to the shore.

John and I followed them in their rented van, trying to keep up in Philly traffic. I always have thought of my father as a good driver. He certainly has done enough of it through the years with all of his business trips. It’s strange when you realize how wrong you are about someone you think you know so well. He was horrible. Either he’s gotten worse over the years as he’s gotten older or he’s always been this bad and I never noticed. He took wrong turns, he lane-changed suddenly without signaling, he sped. At one point this other idiot on the road tried to merge with the center of my car… twice. I honked my horn and avoided any actual contact. Then she tried to do the same thing with my father’s car (realize that there was NO need for her to be merging AT ALL). She actually nicked mirrors with him. Dad boxed her in between his car and mine and actually got out of his car to confront her! The stupid woman saw a large, angry man coming towards her car very agressively and ROLLED DOWN HER WINDOW! How dumb do you get?! Anyway, he just bitched her out for a minute, checked his car for damage and, seeing none, got back in the car and we were able to continue with little more drama. John and I laughed our asses off.

We got to the shore house and found it to be cozy but functional. We had the upstairs and, being the larger group and having a 3 year old and a dog, I’m sure we bugged the hell out of our downstairs neighbors. Especially since Spencer and I got up at about 7am every morning and my sister got home at about 3am every night (morning!). And I got up every couple of hours through the night to pee (stinkin’ baby). I’m sure they were just overjoyed to have us there.

The beach was nice, but I stayed in the house or under the cabana with 30 block on the whole time. And a hat. And a long sarong. Can you tell I really didn’t want to get burned? In that I was successful. No burn, no sun rash, no tan (as if I ever could), no pain! The worst pain of the trip was my back the first few days (it got better after a long walk on the sand- maybe those earth shoe people are onto something after all) and the LOADS of mosquito bites. The mosquitos even got me through my clothes! Buggers!! All in all it was nice and uneventful. Yoko mostly behaved (better than Spencer did), there was little family drama (John was saintly in his ability to distract my step-grandfather, the asshole, and therefore diffuse what would have otherwise been a few horrible days) and we had some good food. My chicken satay came out nicely and my sister made a fantastic salmon dish with a yogurt/dill sauce broiled on top- yumm. We also had the obligatory clam strips and tartar sauce (at the shore is the only time I crave them, but then I HAVE to have them!). Surprisingly, we also had some truly excellent burritos. Mine was with chicken fajita meat and salsa verde. I’m close to drooling just thinking about it. We had freash lobster one night and I discovered that I really don’t like it- I know I should be ashamed, but I just don’t. I especially couldn’t handle it after watching it get cleaned and having it’s nasty butt drained. Oh well, the others were plenty happy to take my share! Another night we had pizza and one had fried eggplant on top. It was surprisingly good! I had never heard or thought of that before. Watch- now I’ll crave it and won’t be able to find it anywhere around here!

My Mom threw me a baby shower and Cole got lots of really cute clothes. My Mom gave me a pair of cowboy boots that had been mine when I was about 2 that I will put on Cole the minute they fit and we can match. I’m not big on “country” stuff (in fact I hate most of it) but I loves my cowboy boots! My sister gave me the outfit that they brought Spencer home in- an adorable little leopard suit complete with ears and a tail. If Cole is born before Halloween, that will be his costume. My family also, very generously, pitched in to give me cash for a rocking chair or glider, something I wanted desperately but wasn’t sure I could afford. It was a good haul!

We drove back to Philly on Saturday. My birthday went nearly uncelebrated. My parents bought me dinner at the hotel restaurant (not very good, but not horrible) and my mom gave me a couple of nice but small presents. It was more than I expected. I’m getting used to the idea that my birthday won’t really count anymore now that Cole will be here. It doesn’t bother me. I think he’s more important too. I’ve sort of forgotten that I even had a birthday. As Spencer now says: NBD, No Problem. Maybe I can convince John to take me out sometime this week.

It was terrifically painful to say goodbye to them that night. They had to fly out at 7 the next morning so we all had to get to bed early. We left them at about 8 that night to get back to our room and make sure Yokie had been good (she had). I think everybody but John and Spencer cried. I couldn’t stop. I’m sure the pregnancy hormones only made it worse. John and I drove back on Sunday and got home at about 3 with plenty of time to do some laundry, grocery shopping and then crash. The one nice thing about coming back was that we realized we like Pittsburgh much better than Philadelphia or any place we saw in New Jersey. It’s strange when you think you hate a place so much and then realize how much worse it could be. Pittsburgh looked positively lovely. I can’t believe I just said that.

We have some excitment in store for this next weekend as well. Our friend Josh will be coming to visit and will be joining us at the baby shower being thrown in our honor on Sunday. I’m very excited to see Josh. Less excited about the baby shower. At least it’s not in Ohio.

So that’s my long winded vacation story in which nothing much happens but we manage to have a wonderful time.

Look at the ticker at the bottom- almost no time left!!!!!!

Aug 22 2005

Based on a test taken from Ticknart, here is my “humor style”:

“the Wit
(66% dark, 30% spontaneous, 21% vulgar)
your humor style:

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you’re probably an intellectual, but don’t take that to mean pretentious. You realize ‘dumb’ can be witty–after all isn’t that the Simpsons’ philosophy?–but rudeness for its own sake, ‘gross-out’ humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it’s also the best, in my opinion.

You probably loved the Office.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart – Woody Allen – Ricky Gervais”

I’m flattered and think it MUST be right because yes, I did love the (BBC Version) Office. If that one little thing is right then the rest must be also, dontcha think?

Aug 12 2005

I had all sorts of things to say, but blogger wouldn’t let me post for a couple days and now I’ll be gone. You’ll just have to wait until I’m back from vacation to hear all of my fabulous tales! I’ll return on the 22nd, a year older and with stories just bursting outta me, I’m sure. I hope you all can handle being without me for a WHOLE WEEK, dear internets. I know I’ll miss you…

But I’ll be on the beach, so maybe not TOO much!

Aug 11 2005

Can I just say…eww…

Yesterday, while driving home from work, I was stopped at a red light. I happened to glance over at the car to my left because something caught my eye. In the van, hanging from the rearview mirror were lacy, frilly PANTIES. I don’t mean just one pair, either. There had to be at least 20 panties in there! And they were on little hangers so that they could all be seen properly! So, I looked at the driver, hoping that it was some chick who was trying to save on her drying bills. No such luck. It was a HUGELY fat, old, white guy with his shirt off! He was so huge that he could hardly reach the steering wheel- he had to sit too far back to give his jiggly belly room.


Later all I could think was: Maybe THIS is the freak who buys used panties off the internet.

Aug 08 2005

Our weekend was…interesting.

On Saturday John and I went out to run some errands. There were some things (like getting an oil change) that we wanted to take care of before this week since we are leaving for Jersey on Friday night (YEAH!). Everything was going fine until my back decided to have a total nervous breakdown in the middle of Target. I was in so much pain that I was actually practicing my labor breathing techniques to get the tiniest sliver of a hold on myself. The whole right side of my lower back was just in complete spasm and there was nothing I could do about it. We made it out of Target with our stuff (yes, we paid) and I felt a lot better after sitting down in the car. I thought that we could chance another stop. I had seen a cute little baby jacket on Old Navy’s online site (Navy blue fleece with a PIGGIE embroidered over the heart- how could I not get it?) and so I thought that I would check the store instead of paying the $5 shipping. Nope, store didn’t have it. So we decided to make a quick stop in Borders for cheezy beach magazines. John found a short story compilation for really cheap that he wanted to buy, but when we were standing in line to pay my back (which had been getting increasingly worse) lost it all over again and this time breathing didn’t help. I was sobbing and had to leave the store. John put the book back and we left. I got it together when I was able to sit down in the car again and we were going to get the car washed, but when we drove up we realized that they make you GET OUT and wait for your car to go through the auto wash! Needless to say, my butt was not leaving my seat again until we got home. When we did finally get home, I put on a stupid movie and crashed on the couch. I had to (painfully) try several positions until I found one that didn’t make me want to scream and then I stuck with it. Everytime John would try to sit down he would jiggle the couch and I would scream again. Poor guy. I’m going to be such a joy in labor.

Sunday was my friend’s Wedding shower. In Ohio. She drove and almost scared the piss out of me, she was going so fast. I felt really unsafe. I went thinking that we would spend a couple hours at the Shower and then come back (1 1/2 hr drive). I was just a little bit off. We left Pittsburgh at 11 am. I didn’t get home until 9 pm. Yes, we went to the shower and spent a couple hours there. THEN we went to her mother’s house and spent a couple hours there while the bridesmaids (I’m not one) tried on wedding shoes (dyeables- make me PUKE). THEN we went to one of the shittiest church fairs I have ever seen. I went to an Orthodox Greek church fair once- wow, was that good Greek food. This church? Shit. They eat shit. I had shit on a round bun, my friend had shit on a hoagie bun and another girl we were with had shit on a hotdog bun. I was starving after the shower food (don’t even get me started) and I couldn’t even eat three bites. Uugh. I think they used shredded tampons intead of meat.


Sunday was a waste and I really wish I could have it back. I would have done some house work and rested my back some more and snuggled with my husband every chance I got. It could have been a really nice day. Instead I’ll just look at it as payment for all the time I’m going to get to spend with him next week on the beach. ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Blissfully anticipating.

Only 4 days of work left!! I’ll make it somehow.

Aug 08 2005

John Fluevog is having a sale!!!!!

And I have no money (waaaaahhhhhh!).

Anybody want to give me a birthday present? It’s less than two weeks away….. Huh? Anybody?


Aug 05 2005

Have you checked out T-shirt Hell? NOT for the easily offended. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Aug 04 2005

H.A.!!! Do you have our phone number? If not, email me at heels9athotmaildotcom. We’d love to see you and check out your new place. Maybe we could catch dinner somewhere or something.

See y’inz later!