Oct 25 2005

Holy shit, I really am a nerd.

Because, holy shit, I’m in labor and I’m posting.

I’ve had strong contractions regularly since about 9:30 and they’ve been no more than 5 minutes apart since 10:30. The midwife has been called. I’m to make my way in when I can no longer talk through the contractions.

He still may not be here today, but he seems to be on his way!

I also started my leave today and, happily, will not be going back to work until December 19th. It feels strange to have no requirements of me except to have and care for this boy. I feel unemployed but with no need to search for a job.

There may not be another update on my site for a while, but be sure to check John’s. We’ll let everybody know when we’re home and be sure to give all the pertinent stats (like how many times I used the F word while pushing; how many times I cursed John for getting me this way; etc…).

Thanks to everybody for your words of encouragment.

Lots of love.

Oct 24 2005

I am home again today after all. I went to work this morning and decided to try to move up my midwife appointment, which was supposed to be Thursday, to anytime sooner. I got one at 1:40.

When I went in, the midwife asked if I wanted my membranes swept and I said yes.

Are you ready for it…?

I am already 3 centimeters dialated and 75% effaced and Cole’s head is quite low at 0 station. She swept my membranes and sent me home saying “don’t quote me on it, but I think it’s fairly likely that you’ll go into labor within the next 24 hours.”

I could have kissed her.

Of course, if I don’t I’ll be even more disappointed, but we won’t think on that now.

It’s nice to be home. Today is the 9th anniversary of when I started dating my husband (as well as being my official due date). Maybe John and I can get out one last time before Cole is here for a nice dinner.

And then I will promptly pop this baby out.

(Right?)

Oct 24 2005

Just so everyone knows-

I am going to work today so I will not be posting until late, if at all past this. I just didn’t want to leave anyone wondering.

It feels very strange to be going to work today. Really wrong.

Oct 23 2005

Can it acurately be called nesting if I’m just cleaning the way I always should?

Yesterday I couldn’t sit still. Never mind that I was two days away from my “due date” and still suffering with a hurt ankle- that wasn’t going to stop me! I rearranged John’s drawers (not a euphamism), flipped the mattress (again, not a euphamism), changed the sheets, did ALL of the laundry, ALL of the dishes, baked cookies, cleaned the counters, took out the garbage and did basic picking up and rearranging in all of the rooms except John’s office (which I’m too scared to touch).

The things I wanted to do but didn’t because of the chemicals involved: bathtub, sinks, carpet scrubbing, furniture painting. The things I didn’t do because of physical limitations: basement (wow, it needs some help), garden (again- HELP!).

So now what do I do? I’ve left nothing for today but vacuuming, which does need to get done but is boring and won’t take long even if I include the baseboards, which I plan to. John even swept the kitchen floor already so I don’t have that. Maybe I ‘ll just have to post once an hour, every hour all day long. Yeah, that’s gonna happen…

Hmmm… I wonder if the bathmats need to be washed again?

Oct 23 2005

No pressure or anything, right?

So I got a call last night from my father. He and my mom are in Napa (California) on an all-expense paid wine tour given to them by one of his clients (his company builds a lot of wine caves). They had been drinking wine all day and had just won a $200 magnum of champagne and had to call to tell me that they were going to use it to celebrate Cole’s birth and I had better get on it.

Now, I know he was just teasing (and a little trashed). I know that’s how my dad is. But do you really think it’s wise to call a woman who has been on pins and needles for days about the possibility of going into labor and tell her that she better step on it so that you can get your drink on?

Let’s just say that he’s lucky that he was in California and I am in Pennsylvania.

Oct 22 2005

The laundry is done, as are the dishes. The counters are cleaned, the trash is out, the odds and ends are picked up. Molasses-spice cookies have been made, making the house smell nice (and making it a little warmer). The bed is made with fresh flannel sheets. Everything has been taken care of and it’s a dreary night outside, making us in no hurry to go anywhere. It’s a perfect night to stay in and meet someone new and special. We’re ready, little baby. Where are you?

Oct 22 2005

Uncomfortable contractions through parts of last night- strong enough to wake me up.

Going into active labor today? Not friggin’ likely.

Oct 21 2005

I’m very confused and very frustrated. For the second day in a row, I seemed to be in pre-labor all day. It just won’t progress. Be warned- TOO MUCH INFORMATION coming…
I had a spot of blood yesterday, which made me think it was the “bloody show” aka mucous plug (I feel pretty, oh so pretty). I went to bed last night thinking that I would wake up at some point in the middle of active labor. Well, I woke up but not to contractions. I was up for three hours in the middle of the night. All day today I’ve been having contractions, but they’re not very strong and they haven’t gotten longer, stronger or more frequent. They don’t seem to have a pattern at all. They’re making me feel really stupid.

(TMI AGAIN!)Tonight my body…ahem…cleaned itself out, if y’know what I mean. It’s another sign of impending active labor, yet it still doesn’t seem to be moving along. I am really at a loss for what to do which is especially frustrating because I’m sure there’s really nothing I can do. I feel the need to take a more active part in this somehow, but this is one time when my body has the control, not my head. I’ve tried all of the things that they suggest in the books. The thing that has worked best is walking, but I somehow managed to screw up my ankle early yesterday and it really hurts to walk. Does anyone have any suggestions? And if you say to just relax and take it easy I will find you and rip your fucking throat out.

The thing that is the least significant but irritates me the most about not having gone into labor today? That I’ve missed the chance to have him on the 21st- my favorite number in sign language.

But, my sister had her son on the day I guessed so maybe I’ll have mine on the day she’s guessed: the 22nd. That works for me. Now I just have to convince Cole.

Oct 20 2005

I warn you, the following is boring and probably best skipped.

Because my husband asked me to and I have nothing better to say and I’m sitting at home feeling like crap, I give you: Heels’ 100:

1. I’m a raving atheist.
2. I love shoes.
3. I hate ugly shoes.
4. I only vote in National elections, not local.
5. I no longer have a favorite color.
6. My favorite color in elementary school was black.
7. I wore at least one piece of black clothing every day from 4th grade until high school.
8. I really dislike Romeo and Juliet.
9. I was born in Tennessee.
10. My first memory is of catching frogs in a broken yellow tennis ball.
11. I remember when I was two and my Mom cooked lobster.
12. One of my favorite things was dancing with my Dad.
13. I remember being three and watching my sister eating bugs off the window sill.
14. My Mom and Dad are still together.
15. I like puns.
16. I’ve read Black Beauty over 30 times.
17. If a movie makes me cry I’ll never watch it again.
18. My first dog was a German Shepard named Steppenwolf (coolest name ever.)
19. One of our first houses in California had a barn full of stray cats. Now hay smells like kittens to me.
20. The first cat I remember naming was Chachie the Choo Choo Train. No clue.
21. We also had two cats named Catcher and Rye.
22. My cat Pumpkin had kittens in an abandoned bird’s nest in a tree.
23. I’m very shy but I wish I weren’t.
24. I sing in the car.
25. I stopped being religious when I was 8.
26. I was kicked out of the Episcopalian church when I was 5. For fighting a boy. And winning.
27. In first grade I formed an all girl, anti boy-kissing-terrorist strike team. When we saw the boys capture the girls we would go in and take them out.
28. In third grade I formed a group that patrolled the playground doing random checks to make sure people were carrying their MADD cards.
29. In fourth grade I had a club that would bring stuffed monkeys to school and talk to them. No monkey- no admittance.
30. Later in fourth grade, my friend and I would fight crime with our animals at our sides- lions and such. No props required.
31. Also in fourth grade, I beat up Nick Albini on the playground in front of the yard guards. I didn’t get in trouble. They just laughed.
32. In third grade I was in a “gifted” program with Ticknart.
33. I used to love crimping my hair.
34. I never had the “big bangs” hairstyle.
35. I don’t wear makeup.
36. In first grade I convinced a girl that I was a princess.
37. In fifth grade I had imaginary, microscopic Native American friends- sort of like “Indian in the Cupboard”, but smaller.
38. I’m a really good liar when I want to be.
39. From fifth grade to eighth, I went to a Waldorf school.
40. I played the cello.
41. I also played the sax.
42. And the recorder.
43. And guitar.
44. And bass.
45. And tuba.
46. I don’t play any instruments any more.
47. If I ever had to have a mastectomy, I would get big, black tattoos across my chest.
48. I have eight piercings, all in my ears.
49. I have gone bus surfing.
50. I beat up Essie Taylor in sixth grade.
51. That same year, I threw a desk across the room while screaming “I’m NOT having a temper tantrum.”
52. I have scars from fighting with my sister when we were little.
53. We once fought over a pencil sharpener.
54. My second dog was a Golden Retriever named Goldie.
55. My second cat was named Bridgett.
56. I almost lost Bridgett the same day we got her from the Humane Society.
57. Bridgett had kittens (twice, I think) and we kept one. He became Chachie the Choo Choo Train II.
58. I still regret not being there when Goldie was put to sleep. Missing her still makes me cry.
59. In sixth grade I wanted to have 12 children some day. I had names for all of them.
60. I’ve never been popular.
61. Between Kindergarten and 11th grade, I was ditched by every friend I had for being totally uncool.
62. I’ve known and loved my husband for 9 years.
63. I once stole a guy from my sister just for the hell of it and then ignored him.
64. The first boyfriend I had for more than a week ditched me after a couple months because I wouldn’t sleep with him (I was a freshman, he was a senior).
65. The only person I’ve ever slept with is my husband.
66. I’ve never had a detention or suspension or anything.
67. I dressed very strangely in high school because I was so bored.
68. I got into the year book for the way I dressed.
69. I was the Soprano with the highest voice in high school. I’m now a tenor.
70. I’ve never smoked a cigarette.
71. I’ve never done any illegal drugs.
72. I was addicted to Codeine cough syrup in elementary school.
73. I was anorexic from about 4th grade until 11th because it hurt to eat.
74. I was the first girl at my school to have Converse and I was teased for it because they were boys’ shoes.
75. Because of my dark arm hair in elementary school, I was called “ape woman”.
76. I didn’t drink until I was 21.
77. I’ve been to Europe twice.
78. I’m often embarrassed to be an American.
79. I have my degree in art but I’m a terrible artist.
80. I have a German Shepard/Rottie mix dog named Yoko.
81. I only want one child.
82. Sometimes I wish I could be really wild and rude and cruel.
83. My parents and sister are some of my best friends.
84. I HATE Cat Power.
85. I wish I could believe in magic.
86. I do believe in true love.
87. And that I have it.
88. When I was little I thought my stuffed animals were alive and had feelings.
89. I played Eleanor of Aquitaine in my 8th grade play and I’ve been obsessed with her ever since.
90. I am one of the most liberal people you’ll ever meet.
91. I’ve disliked almost every “hippie” I’ve ever met.
92. I don’t really like cats.
93. I’m a terrible “home-maker” but I wish I could be one of those women whose home is decorated for each season and always looks perfect.
94. Instead, I make fun of them.
95. I believe abortion saves lives.
96. I often call my dog “Pooper”.
97. I wish I was good at school.
98. I’m very lazy.
99. I think plastic surgery is disgusting.
100. I hate being pregnant.

Oct 18 2005

I feel like I now have to update everyday so that you all don’t start thinking crazy thoughts like that I’ve had this baby already or something. At this point, I don’t think he’s ever going to come out. He’s going to grow up inside my abdomen. It’ll be akward, but we’ll save on the cost of shoes.

I’ve been getting calls from family members every night for the last few. I think I might just record a message on the machine that says “No. Not yet. Seriously- when it happens, WE WILL CALL.” Do you think they’d be offended? Probably.

I still feel horrible. In fact, worse every day. I’m starting to wonder if it’s actually a cold. At least the shingles have all but cleared up. They aren’t even raised anymore. That’s enough to be excited about right there.

I have a midwife appointment tomorrow morning. Maybe she can give me some good news. Like that I’ll have him before the weekend is over.

One piece of good news that I already have and that is keeping me going: my mom will be here on the 29th. At least her arrival is predictable, unlike some tiny brats I can think of… ahem. She not only has a due date but a due hour and minute. That’s what I’m talking about.

Let’s just get this over with so I can talk about something else, okay? Cause you know I won’t shut up about this until it’s over.

Of course, then you’ll just have to listen to Cole stories.