Dec 21 2005

Cole weighed in at a healthy 9 lbs, 2 oz last night. And that’s after a pee and poop blowout. That means he gained 11 oz in 7 days. That’s my boy!

Dec 21 2005

I’m an atheist (more or less) but I love christmas. Is there something wrong with that? I’m also quite ashamed to admit that I think certain christmas songs are among some of the prettiest songs out there, even if they are religious. I look forward to being able to sing them each year (there are some christmas songs that I think should be outlawed!). They have lovely harmonies and nice sentiments about being good to each other, hope and love. I don’t want to hear them all year round, but I do enjoy them at this time.

Christmas season this year, though, has so far been fairly spiritless. I like the idea of “baby’s first christmas”, but he’s honestly too young to get it. He thinks the lights are interesting. Not being able to be around family, we are going to miss the excitment and anticipation of christmas eve. Not being able to look forward to that has left me rather unexcited. I haven’t even played my Bing Crosby record (yes, an actual record album).

Now that I think back on it, christmas eve was always my favorite part of the whole christmas thing. My sister and I would get refrigerator boxes and we would create little forts with lighting and cozy blankets and books inside. We LOVED the forts. This was how we spent christmas eve night. After drinking eggnog and staring at the beautiful tree until bedtime, we would climb into our forts and read and talk for hours. We usually slept about 3 hours, max. I would think about the presents I had gotten for my family and imagine their reactions- always positively ecstatic. The excitment would make me want to hurl, but in a good way somehow. There was a magic to that night that has never quite been equaled by other experiences and doesn’t happen anymore. It was always so much better than christmas day because on christmas eve all of christmas’ potential was still there. There were no disappointing socks on christmas eve.

I don’t expect to quite feel this again, but to be able to be with my whole family and to see the excitment in my nephew and nieces would get me closer than I’ve felt in a long time. I guess I’ll have to be satisfied with thinking about the next christmas we will all get to be together. Maybe next year.