Jan 12 2006

Like I said earlier…

We just got a new sign here at work- you know, the kind that is a black background with red lights spelling stuff out. I’ve sorta been put in charge of inputting the messages.

I was just in back figuring out how to add an american flag animation when a co-worker came up and suggested I add “pray for our troops” to it. I said that we might want to get permission from the president of our company to use a religious reference and that perhaps we could safely say “support our troops”. She said “yeah, I guess you’re right. I mean, we don’t want to insult all of those people who are going to die horribly and go to hell. Hahahahahaha”.

I was so close to saying “oh, you mean like me?”. That woulda shut her up. But then it probably would have gotten even more uncomfortable around here. There was already that moment of silence when I was asked when I was going to baptize my son…

Jan 12 2006

Now it’s even easier to hold onto your pork; or Eggs and Green Ham

Taiwan breeds fluorescent green pig

Jan 12 2006

Am I a Terrible Person?

As I was driving home for lunch, I looked over at the car next to me and saw an old woman in the driver’s seat who was bobbing her head with some sort of palsy. Instead of thinking “oh, poor dear” I thought “Oh look- she’s her own bobblehead doll.”

I’m going to my own special hell, aren’t I?

Jan 12 2006

Beware- Minor Epiphany Post

Frank admission time: Before, during and after my pregnancy I was very judgmental about women who gave birth any way but completely naturally. Yeah, I would say oh it’s no big deal that you had a c-section or an epidural, but inside I was saying “wimp!”. I was very smug and superior in my plans to give birth naturally, and being able to do so only strengthened my belief that women who didn’t were just lazy, scared, ignorant fools who gave away their power…or something like that.

What a bitch, right?

I don’t know where it came from- honestly! It was like I was born with those ideas already burned into my brain. I don’t remember learning those prejudices and I don’t know from whom I would have learned them.

But since having all of this trouble with breastfeeding, I’ve found myself really softening. It’s like having to feed Cole formula has forced me to learn that there is no one Right Way to do this whole parenting thing, or this whole Life thing in general. Formula is not at ALL the way I wanted to go for him, but it’s what we have to do. I don’t get a choice this time if I want my son to be healthy.

The thing is, it so doesn’t matter that he’s on formula. We still love him and cuddle him and nurture him the same as if he were solely breastfed. And he’ll still be perfectly healthy as he gets older. I mean, my father had to have whole cow’s milk when my grandmother had low supply because formula hadn’t been invented yet and he’s one of the greatest men I know.

Giving birth naturally was what I wanted and it worked for me, but the most important thing is that Cole is here. It doesn’t matter how babies arrive as long as they are loved and cared for when they get here. I wouldn’t change a thing about what I did, but it’s not for everyone. We all have to make our own way and do what works best for us.

If such a thing is possible, I apologize for my judgmental thoughts and my scorn.

This is the kind of experience that turns women into middle-aged hippies, isn’t it? Shit.