Mar 22 2006

Last Sunday night we went out to a movie for the first time without Cole. Not only that, but we went early and had drinks at Applebees (which I detest- it was someone else’s idea). We saw V for Vendetta. It was alright. I missed Cole the whole time.

When we got home, my parents were up and my Mom was holding Cole. They said “We have a sick boy.” As my sister was also standing right there, I thought they might be talking about my nephew and so I asked “My boy?” They said yes, that he seemed quite sick. Because I just SO didn’t want it to be true, I again said “MY boy?” They looked at me like I was stupid and said “Yeah!” My head started yelling “NoNoNoNoNoNo.”

I picked him up and they gave me the run down of his symptoms: Vomiting, Diarrhea, Listlessness. I couldn’t stop hugging him and rocking. He woke up and flashed me a smile- a trooper through it all.

He threw up and pooped all night- not pleasant for either of us. This was the first time he had been really sick and I was scared. I kept waking up to check that he was still breathing. I haven’t done that since he was a newborn.

That’ll teach me to go out without him! The guilt of having been out while he was not well is still getting to me.

He was still not keeping much down the next day so I skipped work. Even though I could tell that he didn’t feel good, he was still the nicest little guy to be around. I’m so very lucky.

He’s back at daycare today. I think he’s doing a lot better but I still can’t stop thinking about him. I thought this daycare thing would get easier as we went along, but I miss him more every day. Each day pushes me closer to wanting to quit to be with him- something we absolutely can’t afford and is, therefore, not even an option.

He’s 5 months old this week. Why do I feel like I’ve loved him forever?