May 19 2006

Since you brought it up.

My sister mentioned that my husband and I should have more kids. Now that the subject has been broached, I guess I should tell you all something.

I’m pregnant.

Oh! That was funny!! I think I’ve just peed myself, I’m laughing so hard. You didn’t really buy it, did you? HA!

Yeah- SO not true.

So much not true that it may never be true EVER AGAIN.

We’ve talked about it abstractly, and we’ve decided that we have some pretty strict pre-requisites for going down that road. One is that we have to have enough money. At $500 a month per kid, I would be working just to pay for daycare for two kids. It wouldn’t even be worth me working (Hey…just a minute…hmmmm….). John would have to be making A LOT more money than he is now. It may happen one day, but I think it’ll take a while.

Another reason is that I have to be able to forget what the healing process was like the last time around. When I think of it now, most of the words involved are too vulgar for even me to write down. That’s bad. I don’t know how long it will take to forget.

Then there’s the whole “over-population of the world” thing and the “Doesn’t the second kid turn out to be a hellion?” thing and the ” I really don’t think we could do any better or have an easier baby than we do now” thing. They’re hard to get past.

And I finally fit comfortably into my pre-pregnancy pants. It’s a good thing.

So don’t expect any more little heels-logic babies running around any time real soon. Which makes it even more important to send presents to the one that already exists. Lots and lots of presents. Or send them to his mother, who sacrificed so much to bring him into this world.

May 19 2006

I hear the crack of the whip…

So far this morning, I have filed EVERYTHING, answered all of my emails, read my favorite blogs, done research for catering for the company picnic, straightened my desk and the copy room, cleaned the coffee pot and re-stocked the paper towels (in between all of the little jobs these guys CONSTANTLY throw at me). I’m so freakin’ efficient. I still suck am terrible, but I am sucking terrible efficiently.

(Yeah- there’s another one of those phrases to avoid.)