Jul 31 2006

Meh.

I really miss Cole today. I think if anyone is less than perfectly nice to me I might just cry.

It’s days like this that make me think I should do absolutely anything in the world to be able to stay at home with my little bubba. But even in my wildest imagination the numbers just don’t add up.

Jul 31 2006

Hell Under Half-Dome

The worst day I ever had in Yosemite was when I was about 11 or 12. We were staying in the tent cabins and were a long way from the restrooms. I realized a little too late how badly I needed to pee and I didn’t make it. I peed in my pants. To make matters worse, I had forgotten to pack extra undies and so had to wear the wet ones all day (because, at that age, the only thing worse than soiled undies was no undies at all, apparently). It was mortifying and awful and the root of my obsession with packing twice as many pairs of underwear than days I will be away (yes. I do this.). That was the worst day in Yosemite. Until last Saturday.

Why could a place like Yosemite be so bad when, ostensibly, you are an adult and have not, in fact, peed your pants? Well, because you asked:

1) It’s hot. I mean limb-swellingly hot.
2) Your 9 month old son is teething and pissed about it.
3) Your 9 month old son is teething and wants to chew on everything including pine cones, pine needles, dirt, your shoulder, the railings at the filthiest food court tables (with overly-agressive squirrels), and anything in the bathroom.
4) You are driving on the merest whiff of petrol fumes and there are no stations in the valley.
5) Your husband and father are doing an 18-mile, 12-hour hike up Half Dome and, in the middle of the day, you see Medivac helicopters and Ambulences.
6) You are with my mother.

And really, it was that last one that truly killed the day.

I had grand plans of taking a bike ride through the valley and maybe a couple of short hikes, at the very least. But my mother decided that she didn’t want to ride bikes and she didn’t want to hike because her hips hurt and she didn’t like the bikes on the trail (in her head, all of the bikes were aiming for her ankles) and she didn’t want to paint because we wouldn’t have enough time (that was 2 hours into the 6 hour wait). So we sat. And sat. And sat. We sat around Curry Village (the part of Yosemite I like the least) for 6 hours just people watching. And dealing with a baby who would have gone to sleep in the bike trailer or the hiking backpack, but intead was trying to figure out how to stuff the dirtiest things possible in his mouth to stop the teething pain. In a baby’s mind, apparently, dirt=painkiller.

From 8AM until 8PM all I had to eat were a couple of crackers and cheese. I had one small bottle of water all day.

For THIS I missed BlogHer?

But John and my Dad were fine and had a great hike. They really appreciated the work we did on the food for them (even though they decided to wait to eat until we got home instead of the picnic we had planned). And make it home we did. And the gas was not quite the $10 per gallon I had imagined. Not quite.

But my relationship with my mother is perhaps not so easily fixed. I’m not sure if she knows that I had had it with her, but I don’t think I’ll be able to spend much time around her for a little while. It sucks, because I love my mom. But right now I think it’s best if I’m not around her. I’m not sure I can bite my tongue much more. I’ve done it so much lately that there’s not much tongue left to bite. I think I just need a little time.

My Daddy’s up on that-there mountain!
Jul 28 2006

Hard Core to the MAX

That’s right, Mr. Rat, and I salute you. I have never come across an animal quite as determined to keep living in my garage as you. I had an inkling when I found the two sticky traps missing, but I got the real feel of it when John found both sticky traps under the lawn mower and covered in huge chunks of gray rat hair. What’s next, Mr. Rat? Will you chew your own leg off? What is so amazing about my garage that would make it worth ripping two sticky traps worth of hair off of your body?

There is a kind of honor and diginity to your determination and pugnacity. I can respect it. Now fucking DIE already, would you please?

Jul 26 2006

Oooh!Oooh!

Good Update!

What with all the bad news (camera, BlogHer, dog-size rats, etc.) it comes as a relief to be able to report back to you all about something that could have gone very badly but has, instead, gone well.

My property Manager and Landlord believe us about the stove and are not going to make us pay the $400 to replace it!

YAY!

Not that they would have been able to get any more money out of us anyway. Like blood from a stone, people.

Jul 26 2006

Rat- you’re so Hard Core.

I’m very confused.

A couple of days ago, I set out traps for the rat(s) in our garage. I apologize for my heartlessness to those of you who enjoy the company of rats, but I hate them and want to see them die. (Actually, I don’t want to see them die, literally, ’cause- ew. I just want them to no longer be in my house or leave any trace that suggests their existence on the face of the earth.)

This morning I went out to the car and glanced around at the traps (read: checked the ones under the stairs compulsively because I’m so scared of the rat that I don’t even want to walk above it) and noticed something very strange: two, TWO, traps were gone…

The thought I’ve had in my head ever since is of the rat wandering around in my garage with both sticky traps attached somewhere on it’s body. I can’t imagine how it can live normally with  two huge traps attached. I’m dreading finding this thing. The thought is at once hilarious and horrifying. I actually don’t want the thing to suffer, I just don’t want it in my house (that’s how I feel about all of the pests- rats, mice, hamsters, birds, bugs, snakes, republicans, evangelical christians, etc.). Is it ever going to die or get caught or will it just keep picking up more traps and start a punk-rat trend?

Jul 24 2006

It’s clear that I have no real content today.

I’m. Too sexy for my shirt.

Too sexy for my shirt (rrrawr).

So sexyy it huuurts.
Jul 24 2006

Use your imagination

I just ordered my new camera. YAY!!

Until then, we just have an imaginary camera. The nice thing about it is that even Cole can get in on the action.

*click*
Jul 24 2006

Firstly- the winner of the last caption contest is….Ticknart!

“Mom, do you have any more ‘special’ brownies?”

Except that it should really say “Grandma” instead of “Mom”.

Moving on…

THE NEW CAPTION CONTEST!


To give you some inspiration:

What’s that? You say bang louder? Don’t mind if I do!

Now it’s your turn. Please, I could really use a laugh. You have a choice this time. Please feel free to caption either or both of the following pictures (or any others, if that’s what makes you happy).

The only restriction- you are not allowed to say “Tune in Tokyo, Tune in Tokyo” for the second one.

COMMENCE!

Or whatever.
Jul 24 2006

WAH!

I just cancelled my BlogHer reservation. Even though I was solid about not going, I had been avoiding actually taking that final step. My heart sank when I hung up the phone.

I’m really sorry that I’m going to miss you all. I’ll be looking forward to reading all about it.

Jul 21 2006

Stupid Electronics.

Shit. My camera just died the real death. Fuck.

I’d love to have this, but I don’t have that kind of money right now.

So I think I’ll ask for this for my birthday (August 20th- it’s coming up!). It’s an upgrade of the camera I did have , which I found in Australia (I mean FOUND. In a bathroom.) and have really loved. My Dad has the new version that I want and is really enjoying it. The price has come down so much, too!

Anyway, there will be no new pictures until I get something. I’m really bummed that it had to happen today, of all days. I’m going to a potluck tonight with some girls I went to elementary school with and they all have new babies and I’ll have no pictures and I’m really sad now. Poop.