Jul 13 2006


This morning I paid someone to commit mass murder at my house. Yes, I finally broke down and brought in an exterminator. I think the deciding point for me was when, one night, I turned on the lights in the kitchen and heard the skittering legs of a wolf spider the size of a cat. Then I went outside to turn on the sprinklers and a black widow ran down the pipe when I turned the handle. The two events so closely spaced just pushed me over the edge. (Also, black ants came into the bathroom to tear to peices a dead wolf spider in the trash AND I squished a GIGANTIC red ant that was crawling on our foundation.) It was time to call out the big guns.

The whole time he was there I kept wanting to say “well, it’s a good thing you’re probably not a Buddhist, huh? Heh, heh, heh.” I’m such a dork.

He sprayed inside and out, soaking our deck with chemicals. (Note, if coming to our house: I don’t recommend chewing on the deck. I know, it was so tempting.) I left the pup inside today because she loves to use the deck as her “cave”, and I was afraid of her lying in that stuff all day.

He also found a black widow nest that he destroyed. (Hey, did I ever tell you about the time when I was a kid and I remember seeing my mom come out of our shed hollering and brushing something off her body frantically? And that it turned out to be baby black widows? Thousands of ‘em? Did I tell you that?)

So now my pwecious wittle bubba-kins won’t have any ucky ‘pider bites. And the neighbors won’t think my husband beats me everytime they hear me shreik because there’s a spider in the same room. Never mind that it’s not really a spider, and instead a piece of lint. (Not that that’s happened. ‘Cause that would be crazy, right?) (She’s a FUN crazy!)

(What’s with the parenthesis abuse lately?)