Aug 10 2006

A small slice of neurosis.

So I got this gorgeous new camera, right, because my old camera bit it. I bought a case for it and everything, that’s how much in love with it I am. I never had a case for the old one in all the three years I had it (and I wonder why it broke!). This camera is delicious and sparkly and whiz-bangy and good.

And I’ve taken exactly 7 pictures with it in the two weeks I’ve owned it.

What the hell is my problem?

Is this going to be like the sticker thing? When I was growing up I had a fascination with stickers. Any stickers. Even the ones off of fruit. But I loved them so much that I couldn’t EVER use them.

Instead, they stayed in a paper bag in my desk drawer. I would take them out and categorize them on my bed, occasionally thinking “I could use this one on Grammy’s birthday card” or some such thing. But I never did.

When we moved from Pittsburgh back to California, we threw away/gave away/donated/sold almost everything that we felt wasn’t entirely necessary so that we’d be able to get everything into one moving truck. I still have those stickers. None have ever been used. Some are the ugliest things you’ve ever seen. They are all stickers only a little kid would like. I don’t take them out any more even. I have no idea why I still keep them.

Anyway, I just don’t want the camera to be like the stickers. In my head it’s as if I could use it up or something. It’s like I can only use it if I have the EXACT PERFECT picture I want.

What a dumbass.

(And don’t even get me started about using candles.)

Aug 10 2006

WAAAHHHH!

That’s IT?! I invite you all into my home to celebrate the 27th anniversary of my birth and I get TWO responses?!

*sniff*sniff*

You guys don’t love me at all, do you?

You’d better all have really good excuses for not showing up. Living in another state is not good enough!!T