Nov 20 2006

Oy! Kids!

We did some hanging out with my nephew (4 1/2 y.o.) this past weekend. Here are some things we learned:

It is okay to catch and kill fish. It is even okay to run around screaming like a banshee in delight when said fish are caught. It’s okay to torture play with the dying fish in the bucket, giggling about “blood water.” But it is NOT okay to eat dead animals.

And:

A race is only a race if you are winning. Otherwise the race is called off. Make up a good sounding reason (such as “Oh… um… my pedal won’t turn.” “But your pedal is turning just fine now.” “Oh… um… Let’s Race!”) for stopping, regain your lead, and announce that the race is back on. Repeat as necessary.

These are important life lessons here people. Learn them. Use them.

Nov 20 2006

Aarrrgghhh!!!! THE TORTURE!!!

John and I went house hunting on Saturday. We saw the inside of the house we already liked so much.

Let’s just say that now I want to cry every time I think about how much money we DON’T make.

It’s far from a perfect house. It has ugly, utility-type carpet in the bedrooms, the owners have been letting their dog poop in the garage (poor animal), the backyard is a freakin’ MESS, the bathrooms are small. But you know how I know that I love this house? I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANY OF IT. Not one of the issues that it has bugs me a bit, even though I KNOW it would in other houses.

This house has so much potential. The backyard, despite being a shambles, is HUGE and could be so much. John was dreaming of a basketball court in the lower half and I was dreaming of a gazebo. We could (eventually) have both and the yard would still not seem crowded.

The kitchen is beautiful. They just renovated it and did a really nice job.

The master bedroom and bath are small, but I can already see pushing out the wall and making a gorgeous master suite complete with jacuzzi tub (droooool).

I can see us teaching Cole to ride a bike on the street (it’s a very quiet neighborhood) and decorating for Halloween. We’ll have barbeques in the backyard.

I can just see us being a family there. Not that would we wouldn’t be anywhere else, but… you know what I mean.

And it hurts so much to think that some other family will be living there because there’s so little chance that we can afford it.

Damn you, tiny paycheck. DAMN YOU!!!

Nov 20 2006

What’s wrong with me?

I have this inner turmoil/anxiety/mild depression today. It started with hearing of the death of someone I don’t even know, but whose progress I had been tracking on this crazy internet thing. It happened on Friday. It’s the kind of tragic death that makes you want to hug your family and cherish every moment you have with them, telling them how much they mean to you all the time.

Then I got a call about how much our ignorance about ovens was going to cost us. $100 to $120 because we didn’t know better. It pissed me off. I called John and just wanted to be mad at him for not stopping jiggling the effing handle when I asked him to stop jiggling the effing handle already and, therefore, costing us $120 that could go toward a house of our own. I forgot all about the snuggly “forgive and forget and love your loved ones so hard that they’ll never doubt” feeling that I’d been having just minutes before. I just wanted to blame him.

I’m an asshole.

Is it redeeming at all that I know I’m an asshole? Probably not.

Really, as much as it sucks right now, the stupid $120 doesn’t mean anything. We’ll pay the fucking bill and forget about it. Not being mad at John is worth more than that.

So I am announcing my plan for self-improvement. No more passing the blame just because it hurts, because it hurts others, too. I’m taking responsibility for my laziness and forgetfulness and my other- many other- faults. I need to. They don’t belong to anyone else.

Maybe I should start a new feature here: Melancholy Monday. Yeah- THAT’S the way to keep your readers! Bum them the fuck out on a day that’s crappy already! YAY!!

You guys rock.