Dec 29 2006

I really need some fresh material.

I wrote a very long post, but I’m not going to put it up. It’s too whiny and self-indulgent.

All I can write today is shit that’s bumming me out.

Cole has two bad ear infections, I didn’t sleep much last night, I’m feeling left out and un-loved, and it was one of the most boring days in history here at work.

Why don’t we all come back fresh after the new year.

Have a good one.

(Leave a comment. I’m begging you. Seriously, on my knees! Comments=happy Dani, because I’m shallow and insecure.)

(Love me. Please?)

Dec 28 2006


One of the engineers, one whom I actually like and who has lived and worked in amazing places all over the world, just came out to tell me a joke.

“When I used to work in Alaska, we used to say ‘Do you know what you get when you rub noses together? Sniff-ilis.’”

So bad.

Dec 27 2006


Former President Gerald Ford died late yesterday. The report I heard this morning said that the causes were not being discussed, but I have a theory.

He just couldn’t go on without James Brown.

Dec 26 2006

One more thing…

I would be ungrateful if I didn’t let you all know what a great and thoughtful husband I have. He did a LOT of research and came up with some very nice presents for me that have absolutely nothing to do with me being a mom (it’s nice to be remembered as someone who has non-child related interests sometimes, no matter how much I really do love being a mommy). He gave me a fabulous cook book with a subscription to a foodie-magazine, and a really comprehensive book about the history of art (I took a good deal of art history in college but I was just trying to get through it and sometimes feel really dumb that I don’t remember much). Anyway, he’s a sweetie.

Also, if you had $200 of “mad” money, how would you spend it?

Dec 26 2006

Merry Merry..Plus FIRE!

We had a very busy 3-day weekend.

On Friday night, my mom, sister, and I went to a wedding shower for a woman who babysat for me and my sister a couple of times. Her mom was throwing the party and wanted to make it extra special and hired a fire juggling/spinning group. I actually knew them from bellydancing, but had never seen them perform. They were so awesome. I was incredibly impressed. I took so many pictures and loved them all. I had a very hard time choosing which ones to show you. I just had to randomly pick a few:

On Saturday, we went to see Santa. Cole did not lose it, but he was very wary. He kept giving Santa the eye, letting him know that he was not too sure about all of this and reserved the right to freak out at any second. It was still pretty cute. Santa was a crotchety old bugger, though. When I put Cole on his lap (picture not shown), he said “30 seconds!” Jerk.

On Sunday we hung around the house and played in the freezer boxes. My family had a tradition of getting refrigerator boxes- one each for me and my sister- before Christmas each year. We would decorate them and make them cozy inside and sleep most nights in them, especially on Christmas Eve. We loved it. I still remember it with so much fondness. This year the tradition was handed down to Spencer, but Cole didn’t mind having the boxes around, either.

On Monday Cole had an encounter with a planter which resulted in one of the ugliest pictures ever taken of my child. It’s potting soil on top and goldfish drool on the bottom:
And then the cuteness:

And then the scary raised eyebrows. To tell the truth, I was trying my very best not to fall on my ass while my mom was taking this picture. I think I was trying to use my eyebrows as a counter balance.
Well, there ya go. It was simple, but it was ours. There was no huge drama, which is enough to be thankful for, and there was good food. I love my family.

How was yours?

Dec 22 2006

Okay. I Lied.

That wasn’t the last post. It was going to be but then I remembered that I had totally meant to tell you my new Cole story and didn’t. You aren’t getting away without the Cole story! I mean it!

Last night Cole was playing very quietly by himself in the corner with an antique truck (this was a truck that belonged to my grandfather and every kid in our family since has played with it, too). Spencer, his cousin, came tear-assing into the room, yelling and singing and making his usual racket.

Cole kept playing for a minute, then turned around and very seriously said “Be quiet. Shhhhhh” with his precious, pudge-a-licious pointer finger pressed against his lips.

My mom and I looked at each other to confirm that we had just heard the same thing.

Then, a minute later, he did it again. It was unmistakeable. And precious. And holy crap did my tiny baby just do that?

I can’t stop laughing about it.

Dec 22 2006

Last Post Before Christmas

I am done. Just done with it. I don’t even care that I haven’t finished shopping. I’m out of time, out of money, out of energy. I’m done.

I was trying to finish a present for someone special last night and my sewing machine broke. The whole damn needle assembly came off as I was happily stitching away. I’m lucky it didn’t fly off and embed itself in my eyeball (one of my sewing worst-case-scenario nightmares).

Probably needless to say that that person isn’t getting much from me this year. At least not until I can find someone to fix my machine.

(Note to anyone looking to make me their BFF: Amazon has a Brother serger for only $200. I WA-ha-ha-ha-ant!)(Now back to reality, nerdface.) (I’m the nerdface. Not you. You’re lovely.)

The (boring, but what he wants) presents came for my husband, but the presents that were supposed to be for me (that he ordered and I honestly know nothing about) have not. We might actually surprise each other for once this Christmas if my stuff makes it here on time. Usually we are so excited to give each other the gifts that we hand them over about 2 minutes after we get them. It’s nice to have a real surprise sometimes, though.

I gave the engineers their presents today. I made each of them an M&M; subdrain. I used cheap measuring cups and layered in 5 kinds of M&Ms;, starting with the biggest on the bottom and moving to the smallest on top. Then I put in a red licorice “pipe”. For the card, I drew a subdrain and labeled it with the various layers of M&Ms.; I wrapped the whole thing with fabric (subdrains are wrapped with filter fabric) and tied it with a bow. I don’t think real subdrains have a bow, but it looked nice so maybe they should give it a try sometime.

Anyway, that was a long way of saying I’m a dork. I think they appreciated it. They’ve given me nothing, which is what I expected. They’re engineers- need I say more?

After all that, I really am excited about Christmas. I like it now more than I used to. Now I can sleep the night before and I can watch my child’s excitement. I don’t know if he gets the idea of presents yet, but I think he’ll be digging on the wrapping paper.

Have a wonderful, fabulous, relaxing Christmas/Last day of Chanukkah/Winter Solstice/Kwaanza/Japanese New Year/Festivus/Whatever… HOLIDAY!

You know, I think I’m more excited about the day off than anything.

Dec 22 2006

Do Some Good.

I know that I do most of my blog reading with a feed-reader, so I often don’t catch changes in blog designs and such until it’s mentioned somewhere in a post and I click over to check it out. So, just in case many of you are doing the same, I am going to mention here that I’ve started a campaign with Heifer for a modest $120 donation. I will be donating and I hope that you can find a little extra in your budget to do the same. I’m getting nothing out of it except the reward of knowing that I have lovely and generous friends and readers. Please check out Heifer’s site even if you don’t have the funds to donate now. They are a worthy and wonderful organization, and I would give them more if I could.


Dec 19 2006

Not posting…blah-di-blah-blah…

I have no new pictures, no new good stories. Over the weekend I missed 1) A lap dance performed in front of the dancer’s mother (but not in her lap, thank goodness) and 2) A very akward, old stripper in a black leather utility kilt. So there were good stories out the window because I was actually trying to get some damn sleep for once. What a waste.

Cole also narrowly avoided burning the ever-loving crap out of his hand. My father was quick enough to yank him back as he was millimeters away from climbing on the wood stove. He got a mean bump on his knee from the brick, but I’ll take that over burns any day. We actually thought he had touched it for a few minutes because he was wailing, but, after running his hand under cold water for a bit and not seeing any marks, just cold, cold little fingies, we realized that the crying was from the knee and being scared by being jerked back by his collar. I was very calm through it all, but he had to bear an over-long, probably too hard hug from me when it was all over. Poor kid.

And work. I blame not posting on work. Isn’t it supposed to be quiet around this time of the year? What gives? I should be able to just sit here and do my damn Christmas shopping while drinking tea and trying not to get sick again. What’s with all the demands on my time? “Danielle, edit this.” “Danielle, make 10 billion copies of this.” “Danielle, set up this project code.” You’d think they paid me or something…

And, to top it off, the utterly incompetent receptionist was fired last week, so I’m on phone back-up a LOT more often. I hate phones.

I can’t wait for my two three-day weekends in a row. It’s not enough, but it’s something.

My life, people. It’s just such a trial. I don’t know how I go on, really. I think you should all send me presents/money/egg nog-with-whiskey to ease my pain.

C’mon. I’m not seeing the whiskey yet. Hurry.

Dec 13 2006

Pictures. Ummm… No. If I put up the picture I have I just might cry. I don’t need to get started on the crying today. I still have work to do.

Speaking of work, it is unfair and harsh. I think that sums it up rather nicely. I’ll go back to eating my m&m;’s out of my tiny paper cup now.

Cole had a rough night last night. I may have yelled OMIFUCKINGGAWDLETMESLEEP! at some point, and it wasn’t because of John, if you know what I mean. It seemed like every time I got Cole to sleep and tried to roll over to perhaps close my eyes JUSTFORAFUCKINGSECOND, he would wake up again. Of course.

So I’m tired. And work is unfair and harsh.

But at least I wasn’t the one fired today! HA! How’s that for a silver lining?

I tried to get my revenge on Cole by taking him to get the second half of his flu shot today (doing almost anything to keep my kid alive and healthy does SO equal revenge. Because.), but it didn’t work. He was utterly unfazed by the entire experience. Cole: “Um, Mom? Sooooo bored by this right now. Ooh! Band-aid! Okay. Bored again.”

I’m not kidding- not a tear, not a whimper, not even a sticky-outy-lip. I didn’t get to use any of my extensive cuddling, gently-wiping-tears-away, and kiss-make-better skills. SO. BUMMED.

He’s such a tough kid. I love him so.

(I’m so scattered it’s not even funny. I think I’m just being held together by my pantyhose at this point.)