Mar 29 2007

I’ll braid your hair…

I’d really like to have a good friend. Maybe even one of those BFF types I keep hearing about. That sounds pretty good.

Here’s the problem- I’m not a very good friend in real life. I’ve never had close friends and I don’t know how to be a good friend. I don’t know how to do the long phone calls and the girl’s nights out and the gossiping. Or whatever friends do.

I’m terrible at remembering birthdays, sending cards, asking about how things are going… Things just slip my mind.

And I’m opinionated, absent-minded, and can be a bit judgmental and prickly. I don’t deal well with certain viewpoints and I can be terribly intolerant of certain things.

My selling points are that I’m terrifically loyal; when I care, I care DEEPLY; I can be very generous (when I remember); I listen really well; and I give good backrubs. I also usually have good booze, food, and chocolate.

So the things that would possibly make me a good friend are not actually evident until you are my friend. That’s probably not helpful.

It would also be really cool if, for ONCE, the person who I’d like to be friends with didn’t live on the other side of the continent.

I’m trying here in town, but it always feels like I’m attempting to weasel into a group that’s been established for a really long time.

But maybe that’s what it takes- lots and lots of time.

Any suggestions?

Mar 28 2007

Random Funnies

I found this in my email this morning from a co-worker. I’m not into having bumper stickers on my car, but I’d have to fight the urge to plaster my car with a few of these…



1/20/09: End of an Error

That’s OK; I Wasn’t Using My Civil Liberties Anyway

Let’s Fix Democracy in This Country First

If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran

Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber.

If You Can Read This, You’re Not Our President

Of Course It Hurts: You’re Getting Screwed by an Elephant

Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet?

George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight

Impeachment: It’s Not Just for Blowjobs Anymore

America : One Nation, Under Surveillance

They Call Him “W” So He Can Spell It

No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade Iraq ?

Bush: God’s Way of Proving Intelligent Design is Full Of Crap

Bad President! No Banana.

We Need a President Who’s Fluent In At Least One Language

We’re Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them

Is It Vietnam Yet?

When Bush Took Office, Gas Was $1.46

The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century*
What Part of “Bush Lied” Don’t You Understand?

One Nation Under Clod

2004: Embarrassed
2005: Horrified
2006: Terrified

Bush Never Exhaled

At Least Nixon Resigned


And then I got this one (and MANY others) from another co-worker:

You know THEY party every day.

Mar 27 2007


And I don’t know what the hell is happening with my pictures and stuff. I’ll sic John on it.

Mar 27 2007

I’m sick. Can I go lie down now?

I was sick yesterday. No, for real. I tried to take a sick day day to stay at home and catch up on sleep, but Nooooooo. John had to take a “sick” day too and he made unpacking goals for me. Unpacking goals that did not include sitting on my butt, drinking tea, and watching all of my movies that John claims make it look like a stereotypical gay guy lives in our house (and no, I don’t mean gay porn).

So yeah, we’re in our new house! Yay! And I got to take my sick day to arrange the kitchen! Um… yay!?

But now it’s done. And I’m so happy with it. Everything is fitting so nicely and working out so well. I got to go home at lunch (it takes less than 2 minutes) and unpack more stuff, so now I actually know where work clothes are, which is probably a good thing. I doubt it would be considered appropriate to wear my jammie pants and my see-through “AlphaMom” shirt to work. At least not three days in a row.

For those of you who have purchased houses- is it normal to be excited all the way through closing and then find all the faults after you’ve been handed the keys? Please tell me that your list of “to do’s” was bigger than you ever expected. Like the really noisy toilet? And the rips in the kitchen linoleum? And the funky bathroom cabinets?

I’m sure my buyer’s remorse wasn’t made any better by the fact that we didn’t have hot water, a working stove, or heat over our whole first weekend in the house due to the previous owners having drained it COMPLETELY and the propane company not realizing that when we say we’d like to start service, it also means we’d really like to HAVE SOME FUCKING PROPANE IN THE MOTHERFUCKING TANK.

But we do now. (Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.)

And the water pressure in the (now) hot shower? Is AWESOME.

(I’ll have pictures soon-ish. I swear.)

Mar 23 2007

I have a dog? Oh right…

So here’s poor Yoko with the horrible Collar of Doom. We hates the collar, precious. We hates it a lot.

She’s getting better. I’m starting to wonder if the so called “ulcers” in her eye are something else entirely though, because they don’t seem to be getting much better. Her eye without the ulcers looks normal again. Yay steroids!

In other news, my father turned 60 a couple days ago. I think he looks pretty good for 60. He’s a good guy, and I like him better each year. He has been a staunch republican (for business reasons) his whole life. We recently forced asked him to watch “An Inconvenient Truth.” And damn- what do you think he said the next day? Not “What a chump. That’s the idiot who claimed to have invented the internet. Why should I believe anything he says?” NO. He actually told me that 1) It was a great movie and 2) That he now thinks Gore might be one of the best candidates for president that we’ve seen in a while.

You should have seen my face. It was a Deer in the headlights kind of stunned.

So anyway, Happy Birthday, Pop. You keep getting better.

This is his “alter-ego” Clyde. Awesome!

And then there’s my adorable husband and the cutest teething monster.

I’m surrounded by good.

Mar 23 2007

I can’t be there so I’ll do it here.

San Francisco, California (March 22, 2007) – A Nicaraguan transgender woman, Ruby Rodriguez, 24 years old, was murdered on Friday, March 16, 2007. Her body was found on the corner of Cesar Chavez and Indiana Streets in the Mission District of San Francisco. The murder is currently under investigation by the San Francisco Police Department. Community United Against Violence (CUAV), EL-LA, San Francisco LGBT Community Center, TRANS Project, allies, and community members will hold a community vigil in her honor on Friday, March 23, 2007 at 6:00PM, on the corner of 24th Street and Mission Street in the Mission District.

Organizers request that the community bring a white candle to the vigil. There will also be an additional altar set up on Cesar Chavez and Indiana Street, and community members are encouraged to bring flowers, photographs, cards and good wishes to this site. Let us not forget Ruby. She was an exceptional woman who was intent on improving her life. Ruby participated in various support groups and language classes, and idolized Chicana singer Selena.

This murder comes at the heels of at least two other violent deaths of transgender women of color in the San Francisco Bay Area over the past six months. Transgender people, particularly low-income transgender women of color, are disproportionately poor, homeless, criminalized and imprisoned as a result of systemic discrimination in our daily attempts to access safe housing, healthcare, employment, and education.

Unfortunately, Ruby’s murder is not an exception, but an everyday fear for many transgender people who are targeted and brutalized by institutions and society at large. Our communities mourn Ruby’s death and ask for a renewed commitment to real safety for transgender communities. It is vital that the Mayor’s Office, the San Francisco Police Department, and the District Attorney’s Office work to end the cycles of criminalization, poverty, and violence in transgender communities and communities of color.

Mar 22 2007

Number Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine…

Cole can count. Don’t believe me? Check it out.

Number Nine on Vimeo

This is from last night’s bath. Check out how well I’m doing replacing the word “shit” in my vocabulary. You can tell from what gets repeated somewhere in the middle there…

(Oh- and this wasn’t even his best. The times he did it before I got my butt out to the car for the camera were the really good ones. Of course.)

Being this kid’s mama just keeps getting better.

Mar 22 2007

You can buy me one if you want…

Fucking awesome. How can a girl even choose?

Mar 21 2007

I don’t have to smack him…

Holy crap, has Cole been in a pisser of a mood lately. My once so calm and delightful baby has turned into a writhing, shrieking nightmare bundle of willfulness.

Mama takes away the pen that you were trying to use on Daddy’s precious books (and the floor, the furniture, the dog…). Response? Freak the fuck out (FTFO).

Mama doesn’t get that bottle to you fast enough (You know, ’cause he’s STARVING and all)? FTFO.

Mama keeps you from sitting on the dog? FTFO.

Mama says that we can’t watch any more Melmo because we are already 20 minutes late for work? FTFO.

Mama can’t figure out what you’re saying? FTFO.

Mama takes your shoes off? FTFO.

Mama puts your shoes on? FTFO.

Mama covers her poor, abused nipple so that you won’t continue to “Tune in Tokyo” for hours in the middle of the night? FTFO. And BIG time.

I think you’re starting to get the picture. Whenever he doesn’t get exactly his way at exactly the moment he wants it, he HOWLS pitifully. He arches his back and quivers with tense rage. He cries real tears. I think he’d cry less if I pinched him.

But worse than the sobbing is the violence he does. He bites stuff. He’ll bite whatever’s the closest- me, the wall, the floor, the table, the dog. I have to hold him up so that he can’t reach me with his mouth as he’s straining with every muscle to get close enough to sink a tooth in. It is disturbingly reminiscent of fights with my sister when we were kids and I had longer arms and so could hold her head away from me so that she couldn’t touch me.

And when his biting impulse is over, he begins to slap himself in the face repeatedly, which is also reminiscent of fights with my sister where she would hit herself and then blame it on me when tattling to my parents. But it’s scary, because can you imagine me trying to convince CPS that he did it to himself? “I swear, officer. He did it! He gave himself that black eye! I never touched him!” But really, it is scary to see him do it. I’m scared of him having that frustration and rage and I hate watching him get hurt, even if he’s the one doing the hurting.

I’m trying to figure out what’s causing this behavior. Is it teething? Is it communication frustration? Is it me? Am I not giving him enough______? Is he watching too many movies? Is he eating too much meat? Is he getting too much sugar at daycare? Is he in contact with violent kids at daycare? Is he in pain in some other way that I can’t figure out? Is he mentally disturbed?

I know that some of that (most of that) is probably overreacting, but with so much being unknown… I worry that I’ll keep telling myself it’s small stuff and it’ll end up being something huge.

It’s probably teeth. I think he has two molars coming in right now. Damn, it sure would be nice to have those teeth come through (if that’s in fact what is causing this) so that I could keep my nipples from getting twisted off and maybe get a little sleep.

I can’t be alone here. Did any of your kids turn into wretched devil children during teething? Or do you think I need to put a hit out on Kevin Clash?

Mar 20 2007

On the other hand…

There has been one really cool thing about watching Cole watch movies. He gets really involved. A couple of days ago we showed him a Barney video for the first time. It’s one where Barney and “the Gang” put on a circus, and the squirrel does a flying trapeze act. When the squirrel got up on the platform and then jumped off to swing, Cole FREAKED out. He was putting his hands in front of his mouth and yelling at the tv, asking us to come over and watch, and making very upset noises generally. When the squirrel let go and dropped off into a blanket, we had to assure him over and over that the squirrel was fine, that he was really okay. It was nice to see him have so much empathy with the thing he identified as a real creature, even if it was a bit misplaced.

Then, last night he was watching the Elmo movie. At one point, Elmo, Telly, and Super-Grover end up crashing into each other and falling in a heap on the ground. Cole jumped up, ran over to the tv, leaned down so that his face was right next to those on the screen, and started asking, very concernedly, if they were okay. If he could have touched them I think he would have offered them a hand up. He’s such a sweetie.

It’s just so pleasing to see his kindness and empathy developing so easily.