Apr 10 2007

Cole says…

Belly Dancers are SQUISHY!

(He even says “svish, svish” in a scratchy little voice.)

Apr 10 2007

A tip for you!

Dieting can be good and healthy. So can exercise. Food poisoning, on the other hand, is neither good nor healthy and certainly not an advisable kick-start to the summer dieting program.

Please- take it from me.

Ten whole hours of hourly upchucking and a thrown-out back later…

Here I am back at work. It was a lovely weekend until the ill-advised pit stop at the valley Taco Bell. Who knew a cheese quesadilla could do so much damage? Unless it was in the water… (damn you Dr. Pepper with ice- I KNEW you’d be the death of me!).

We were down in San Francisco all weekend visiting with friends and family. Though it was a weekend bracketed by puke (John on Saturday, induced by a migraine, and me on Sunday), I think we all still had a good time.

Saturday had shopping and awesome Thai food. Sunday had a lovely park egg hunt for Cole and my nephew. Spencer was so excited about picking up eggs that, although we kept reminding him that he had to let Cole pick up a few, he just couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t that he was being greedy- he happily gave half of his eggs to Cole- he just thought that the fun was in the having, not in the finding. He thought that as long as Cole had an even amount that everything was okay. And heck, for a 5 year old? That’s gotta be pretty good. Cole did enjoy finding the eggs though. He was so excited about picking up the eggs and throwing them in his bucket that, when the eggs ran out, he switched to pine cones. What? They’re almost the same shape. Kind of.

So even a day of puke couldn’t really dampen a fantastic weekend filled with such good friends and family. We’re lucky people.

See- I can say that even after having to pay taxes today. (and OUCH!)

Apr 06 2007


Mary Cheney Cruel to Children

Contact: Dr. Paul Cameron, Chairman, Family Research Institute, 303-681-3113, 303-886-1947 cell

COLORADO SPRINGS, Dec. 8 /Christian Newswire/ — Mary Cheney, the Vice President’s unmarried daughter, is expecting. Dr. Paul Cameron, Chairman of the Family Research Institute, a Colorado Springs think-tank, condemned her decision:

“Unmarried women should not deliberately have children. Their children are more apt to experience privation and disruption. Consequently, such children are more apt to do poorly in school, disrupt society (e.g., engage in criminality), and be personally troubled. These wrongs are compounded when the child is brought into a homosexual setting.”

“By this selfish action, Cheney is not merely disrupting society, she is being cruel to her child:

  • Mary, 37, is currently ‘partnered’ with Heather Poe, 45. The median age of death for lesbians is around the late 50′s. If Poe and Cheney stay together, odds are this child will lose at least one caretaker before graduating high school.

  • Children of homosexuals testify that day-to-day living is more difficult – and they are more apt to report personal disturbance as a consequence.

  • A high proportion of lesbian ‘partnerings’ break apart — with custody issues haunting the child for the rest of his life.

  • The child will disproportionately associate with homosexuals – who are as a class considerably more apt to have STDs and a criminal history, be interested in sex with children, involved in substance abuse, etc.

  • The child will have a much higher probability of learning homosexual tastes (at least a third of lesbian’s children adopt homosexuality).

“Her pregnancy is further evidence that participation in homosexual activity distorts value systems, inducing practitioners to harm the commonweal. Our society already has too many children born without the benefits of marriage; Cheney’s action is not only a bad example, but poor treatment of an innocent child.”


As you can see, the above article is from Christian News Wire, a publication I didn’t even know existed until highlighted here.

I hardly know where to begin with this pile of horseshit. So I’m going to take it bullet-point by bullet-point. Shall we?

Bullet 1: You’re citing death as a reason not to have children? Are you joking? No, really- do I, as a heterosexual, have some protection against death? Because I was honestly unaware of that. Huh. You learn something new every day.

Bullet 2: Maybe they have a more difficult time because of the opinions and actions of ASSHOLES LIKE YOU! Perhaps if you took your head out of your ass and saw that homosexuals are *gasp* people! they might have an easier time of it. But that would take all of the fun out of it for you, wouldn’t it?

Bullet 3: A high proportion of heterosexual ‘partnerings’ break apart — with custody issues haunting the child for the rest of his life. What’s the divorce rate now? Hmmm….

Bullet 4: I was going to take this point by point, but it’s just stupid, plain and simple. Show me the “research” on these points. I bet you can’t.

Bullet 5: “Homosexual tastes.” I think emilin had a funny take on this one. But really, if there is ANY truth in this, don’t you think maybe it’s because children of homosexuals are able to grow up realizing that homosexuality could be a legitimate “choice” (if you could even call it a choice) for them and that they could still lead normal lives? I bet that the rate of children being homosexual after having homosexual parents is truly no greater then the rate after having heterosexual parents. Maybe they just figure themselves out sooner in life, which couldn’t be anything but healthy.

Five bullets? That’s all you’ve got? Pshht.

But the overall message- that homosexuals who choose to have children are being cruel- is just so ridiculous. I know a lot of heterosexual couples who have had children, even when the children were wanted, and abused the hell out of them. It seems to me that, with the extra planning that comes with having children as a homosexual couple, children of those couples would be terrifically wanted. I mean, a homosexual couple can’t quite as easily get pregnant “by accident,” if you know what I mean.

So I’m not really seeing the “cruelty” here. All I see is bullshit.

***edited to add: I think you all realize that it’s the prejudice and hatred that I think is disgusting here, not the religion. Just wanted to make sure that was clear.

Apr 05 2007

They’re in the mail.

I had to order new checks today, both because we’ve moved to a more permanent home and because I have only one check left. Not one “book” of checks, no- one single, solitary check. Luckily, I think I made it through this month’s “bill BONANZA!” and so don’t need to write any more for a week or two. I hope.

However, when I went to order checks, I found out that, yet again, they discontinued my design. What’s so wrong with leopard print that every company I’ve ever ordered checks from has discontinued their version of it? I like the leopard print. I want the damn leopard print!

Alas, I don’t get that as a choice. Instead, here are some designs that were kept. Behold their beauty:

Now, some people might not find these to be too bad. They aren’t my taste, but neither is most pop music, so… whatever. But WHY do they need to have more than three unicorn designs and not a single leopard print design? Does that make sense?

I’m baffled.

No really- this is the shit I end up thinking about.

Anyway, I ordered “Where the Wild Things Are” designs instead because the Shug “Wives With Knives” were too expensive.

I don’t know why I spend so much time on checks when the only people who see them are the ones opening my payment envelopes. Like they care. The money’s the same on a Unicorn or Jesus waving an American Flag. But I can’t help myself.

Don’t even get me started on stamps…

Apr 05 2007

Ahhh… Nature!

I had this guy visit me for the whole morning.

It was so beautiful. I was just about to take pictures when it finally decided it had rested enough and flew away. I was sorry to see it go, but considering I thought it was dead when I picked it up this morning, I’m glad that it got at least one more flight in the sunshine, even if it does actually die soon.

It’s a silk moth. I should have kept it and figured out how to clone it to start my own silk farm so that I can retire in luxury.

Shucks. Too late now…

Apr 04 2007



She’s working to turn us against each other to bring about the end of the human race. Do not fall into her trap! You have been warned.

Instead, use her on your ass! As two-ply, she’s not nearly as abrasive.

Why do I despise her so? Here you go!

Apr 03 2007


(Big Kisses all around!)

Thank you all for your supportive comments. I can’t begin to tell you what it means to me and how excited I get to see new emails telling me that you’ve had something to say. It’s great.

SunShine- we’ll let each other know what we discover. Deal? Deal.

Princess and Beth (SunShine too, for that matter)- Can we be friends despite the distance? I’d love that! We’ll pretend we’ve actually met in real life. Though I don’t know how the hair braiding will go if we’re long-distance… Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Alliya- You’re a babe. I feel like we’re family, and yours is a family I’d be proud to be a part of. Thanks for including me/us. I do consider you a friend.

Em- You ARE my family (you know that, I know). You are also the closest thing I have to a BFF (besides John, I suppose), and if you lived in town it would be perfect. I love thinking of you as my friend. I love you. (MOVE BACK!)

**sniffsniff** the love!

And then Vinny… I don’t know who you are. I don’t think you quite grasped the point of the post. I don’t think changing my blog’s color will do anything for my social life.

That said, I had been thinking about changing things up. When I got that comment, my immediate response was “Fuck you! I’m not changing anything for anybody. If you don’t like the pink? Go suck your ass!”


But what do the rest of you think? I guess I’m willing to put aside my contrary-ness for a moment and give the change some serious consideration.

Things to note- the pink was always meant to be kind of…ironic, I guess. I wanted it to also be a little off-putting. If you ever saw my art, you’d understand better. So the fact that you don’t really like it? Is kind of the point. I’d go into why, but it’d be long and boring and everybody falls asleep during art history, anyway.

So… thoughts?

Apr 03 2007

It’s over!

The day of reckoning was last Saturday. That’s right- last Saturday I performed my very first wedding ceremony as an officiant.

And it went really well! I was nauseous with anxiety for about a day before, and I had a horrible nightmare where I flubbed the first line and the groom didn’t show up and the bride ran away from home and I had to beat up her awful bridesmaids for information regarding her whereabouts.

But that didn’t actually happen.

The bride did trip on her dress coming up the stairs, though, so I’m sure someone’s nightmare came true! (Poor woman, she was so embarrassed. It was actually very cute, though I’m sure she’ll never believe me.)

I needn’t have worried about my clothes, though I was very happy with what I ultimately chose. There were guests there in everything from sparkly cocktail dresses to tank tops and capri-sweats. I guess that’s the norm for weddings in this county.

I felt very comfortable in the clothes I picked. I felt professional and pretty and appropriate. I wore an off-white lace tank top underneath a natural colored, v-neck, woven, light sweater (so that just a little bit of the tank showed at the neckline). I had a floor-length wrap skirt in silk printed with natural, brown, and royal purple flowers. I had an “old gold” necklace with royal purple sparklys and a purple crystal hair thing holding my hair up at the back of my head. AND, the best part, I had gorgeous purple high heels! That were on sale at Ross! HEEEEEEE!!!

So after all of that worry and all of the planning, the ceremony went off without a (major) hitch. We went off to the reception, I still in my overly-planned outfit, where, not 10 minutes in, a sleeping Cole drenched me in urine.

I had to leave the reception and go home to change. I got only a couple of minutes to choose the outfit that I wore back. Go figure…

Anyway- I really enjoyed the experience, overall. I’d be willing to do it again, but maybe only for people that I know. I’m not sure I’m ready to be such a big part of a stranger’s wedding day.

Oh, and the bride paid me after all. It went back into her gift box at the reception.