May 11 2007


There are now a few bloggers who I started reading when I was pregnant, who were also pregnant at the same time, who are now starting to try for another baby. Suddenly, I also get asked all of the time by all kinds of people when I might try to have another. I guess that, for most people, when the first child gets close to 2 years old it’s a “normal” time to think about a second. It seems to be about the time that moms start forgetting the torture of pregnancy, childbirth, and early infancy.

Here’s my confession: though I am outwardly a staunchly single-child kind of person, there are many moments, and they are increasing in frequency, when I start trying to figure out how we could have another.

When I step back from it, I know that we can’t afford it, we don’t really have a good reason to have another (not that that ever makes a difference when it comes to children!), we’re already feeling overwhelmed and like we have no time in a day, and, again, we can’t afford it. Like, AT ALL.

I also know that I’m not ready for the breast-feeding disappointments, the sleepless nights, the spit-up, the worry about the child being healthy or normal… all of those pregnant/new parent things.

My life right now doesn’t need further complication. It’s balanced… enough.

I like being able to give Cole all of my time. I like him knowing that he is the most important person in my life, with competition only from his daddy.

But there’s this itch to have a tiny, wrinkly, little baby to snuggle with again. A baby who really needs me, not a big boy who can do so much for himself now. I ache for the tiny feet, the mewling cries, the rooting, the itty-bitty clothes. I miss the huge, taut belly and having my baby with me all of the time.

There are lots of things that are wonderful about being pregnant and having a newborn. I just really have to keep the bad stuff in mind to counter act all of it. The really bad stuff.

Can someone who I’m close to just get pregnant so I can snuffle on their baby as much as I want? That would really work better for my pocketbook right now.