Sep 27 2007


BlogHer 2008 will be in San Francisco! I’m so excited!! It means I may actually get to be there this year! WHOOPEEEEE!!!

You have no idea how excited I am. It may even be making my boobies tingle.

Sep 27 2007

The Biggest Reason

I have a problem with arguing for having another child by saying that the second will be a friend for the first. To me, that’s close to saying that the second will be a set of stand-by organs for the first (Drop-Dead Gorgeous, anybody?). It’s like the second only exists for the benefit of the first.

But my biggest argument is something rather similar, so I feel like something of a hypocrite for having a problem with the one and not the other.

It goes a little somethin’ like this:

One day (a day far, far in the future, I hope) John and I will die. Chances are that Our parents will be dead, too. Our siblings probably won’t be far behind, if they’re still around. Cole will be left with cousins, but who knows how close they’ll be. He won’t be left with anybody who will be able to commiserate with him and understand just what we meant to him (good things, I hope).

I know that my sister and I, despite our tremendous differences, have come together at times when we didn’t have our parents. We have always known that we would have each other, even when we were still biting and scratching each other in fights for a pencil sharpener (don’t ask).

Kids can find other friends when they’re growing up. Shit- sometimes siblings can even be your worst enemies! But, in my opinion, there is no replacement for real, blood-related family.

Some people may disagree with me, but my mind will not be changed. Sure, you can make your own family with people of your choice, but that’s the thing- they’re tied to you by CHOICE. I think the tie of blood is stronger.

It’s my family I turn to when I need painful honesty or whole-hearted support. Even if every other relationship in my life dissolved, I would have them.

I want to give Cole family, more than me and John who are 26 years older than he. I want him to have that harsh, unconditional love behind him. I want him to have another person who remembers us so that he is less alone when we go.


Sep 26 2007


I’m making Cole’s costume this year, but I absolutely cannot choose what he should be. Should he be a:

a) Monkey
b) Dragon
c) Lion
d) Dog
e) Pumpkin
f) Other (You must make some actual suggestion here. An “Other” is not something I can sew.)

Please make your choice soon as I think it will take me the entire month of October to make anything.

Sep 26 2007

Never say Never- your ass will get sore with all the coming around and biting…

So, um, until last night I was absolutely convinced that I was pregnant. Yes, I’m on the pill and yes I’m really good about taking it, but still- did you know that roughly 5 to 8 out of every 100 women will get pregnant while on the pill? It can happen, and does.

And I just KNEW I was. I knew it. And you’d think, considering my pretty fervent “only ONE child” stance, that I would have been pretty fucking freaked out by it.

But I wasn’t.

I was excited; no- make that ecstatic.

But I’m not pregnant, for sure. And it’s kind of thrown me. I’m mourning just a bit for a child that never existed and I’m trying to come up with arguments for why we should actually try to get one to exist. So far I mostly have “‘Cause I WANT ONE!! WAAAAHHHHH!!!!” Which doesn’t really go over with my intensely logical and practical husband.

So I’m very sad today, and feeling very silly about it at the same time. In my practical self, I know that we can’t really afford it and there are still all of these REALLY GOOD reasons why we shouldn’t do it, but in my other self I’m already picking out names and shopping for wee clothes and rubbing my ever-expanding belly.

This is also known as being clinically insane, I think.

So I retract any statements that I may have made in the past about not wanting another child. I want one REAL bad. I just know that it’s not exactly practical.

Except, when is having children about being practical?

Sep 26 2007


At Joust last weekend I was going to buy a rabbit pelt to cut up and attach to Cole’s sporran (the little “pocket” that hangs in front of his kilt) to make it more authentic. I took Cole with me to the stand so that he could have a say in which pelt we’d purchase.

I found one that I liked the color and softness of and I held it up to Cole and had him touch it. He petted it very hesitantly and quickly pulled his hand away. I asked him if he liked it and, after a short moment of contemplation, he said “It’s dead.”

I couldn’t say anything for a moment. I was really rather shocked. Finally I said “You’re right- it is dead. How do you know that?” But he didn’t answer.

How did he know that? How does he know about death at all? They don’t really cover that topic on Blue’s Clues, y’know? It’s pretty strange for a kid that young to know about death at all, let alone identify a pelt, which I don’t think he’d ever seen before, as being dead. I don’t really know what to think about it.

We didn’t buy the pelt. I just couldn’t do it after that. Fuck authenticity. The plague would be authentic too, and I’m certainly not going to be bringing that home if I can help it.

Sep 24 2007

My boy; he is a show stopper.

Cole and I were at Joust this past weekend. It was okay. The jousting was fun (and kind of scary- it was real, hard-hitting jousting), the weather was kind of sucky (rain, then hot, the cold, then hot), some people were awesome, some were less than. But Cole? he was fantastic.

Though at times he was SO serious:

But this is the only photo I have of me. It’s okay- Cole’s totally cuter anyway.

How was your weekend? And, more importantly, did you get to shake it like I did?

Sep 21 2007

Jebus can haz cheezburger?

O NOES! It controvershul!



Sep 21 2007

Stolen Links

I’m stealing a little bit today, but only because these are just too good to pass up. Credit should go to Rude Cactus (or whoever he borrowed from!).

OMG. This just scares and nauseates me. It’s not the religion, it’s the ignorance. Some things have kinda been proven, y’know.

But this guy? I might just love him a little bit. It’s just too funny.

Sep 18 2007

Scattershot 2: Electric Boogaloo

  • You remember how I told you about the kilt I made for Cole? Well, I got the Velcro on and tried it on him again. And he cried! And kept trying to pull it off! It’s nice material, has no pokey-parts, and fits him really well. The only thing we could figure is that, at the way-too-tender age of 22 months, Cole already has strong ideas about gender stereotypes. This could be a problem in our house where these traditional stereotypes are flouted on a daily basis. If it’s true, it must have come from daycare because we’ve certainly never frowned upon males in dresses. It just seems so strange; I mean, he’s SO young. Do you think that’s really what’s happening here? Anyway- so we tried to rectify it by tying the same material around John’s waist as sort of a mini-kilt. Cole seemed to be a bit more comfortable with it after seeing his all-wonderful/powerful daddy wearing a “skirt,” but we’ll have to wait until Saturday to see if he’ll put up with it without daddy around.
  • Also, I am an idiot and have started making pants as well as the shirt and hat I already had planned for him AND have started thinking about a vest. If it all comes out, he’ll be one damn finely dressed kid. I am an idiot. Oh right- I already said that.
  • I’m also so tired. Just exhausted. I can’t get enough sleep. Last Sunday, I was lying on the couch in Cole’s room, watching him play. He left to go out to the living room where John was and, instead of following, I stayed where I was and (accidentally, I swear!) fell asleep in the matter of about 5 minutes! I’m usually not that bad. And I’m hungry and thirsty constantly. I’ll eat a big meal and 15 minutes later I’ll be ready for another. I’ll finish 2 big glasses of water and still feel like I haven’t had a thing to drink for days. It’s weird. Maybe I have a too-mah. Probably not.
  • Because I’ve been hungry all the freakin time, I’ve made 2 batches of cookies in the past couple of days. First, I made oatmeal/raisin/pecan and then, last night, I made chocolate-chip/pecan. All from scratch. All so yummy. John is starting to suspect that I’m trying to fatten him up for market. I should be more discreet…
  • Soooooo Ti-rrrrred.
Sep 14 2007

I Don’t Get It.

I don’t have tv. I mean, I have A tv on which to watch netflix and such, but we don’t get any channels. Not a one. Unless you count snow.

So I didn’t see Britney and knew nothing about the VMAs until WELL after the rest of the world probably. Until yesterday when I caught the video here on the good ol’ internets.

And I started thinking: that’s FAT? Seriously? I mean, if she’s fat, then I’m OBESE. But I’m NOT obese; in fact, not even overweight according to my BMI. How in the world could anyone think that Britney is fat?

I’m not a Britney fan. I never have been. I’ve never found her to be especially attractive and I still don’t. The biggest problem with her performance (which I watched without sound- a surreal experience, let me tell you) was that she looked like a scared and awkward teenager pretending to have it all together. It was totally uncomfortable. Even the audience looked uncomfortable and confused. I’ve read that people were even laughing at her, but I didn’t hear it so I don’t know. She also got seriously bad advice from a member of her entourage who must have convinced her that she really did look hott in those undies, which she doesn’t, but not because she’s fat, which she isn’t. Honestly- I was glued to the screen looking for jiggles and, besides those associated with her being a WOMAN, they just aren’t there!

Others have written about this better than I have: Her Bad Mother and Rock Star Mommy, to name two.

To summarize: Britney=Crazy? Probably Yes. Britney=Fat? Hell no. Media=Really Sick and Dangerous? Hell Fucking Yes.