Jan 31 2008

My Crafts- Let Me Show You Them

I made another hat:

He’s a raindrop! No, it’s not a Mario Brothers raccoon cap with ears like Ticknart suggested, nor is it a sock monkey hat like Wonderbaby got, but I think it’s pretty cute none-the-less. Or maybe it’s just the model.

And it’s been pretty quiet around here, so…

Hey you! Start leaving some comments once in a while! Don’t make me come get you!
Jan 31 2008

Welcome, Baby!

The Princess had her baby, a second daughter named Rosemary. Go check out brand-new baby photos!

Jan 31 2008

I Guess We Need to Really Make Sure Our House Is Childproofed

(And, jeez- I had no idea our dishwasher looked so gross. Sorry about that.)

Jan 30 2008

You Know You’re a Parent When…

Your precious, 2-year-old son is riding on your shoulders and, in his sudden and irrational fear that you will drop him (which has NEVER EVER HAPPENED), he reaches forward and uses your eye-socket as his finger-hold on your head. As much as this hurts (and it really fucking hurts, let me tell ya), you freeze with indecision about whether to let go of your grip on your son and drop him or save your eyeball. The standstill is only broken when your son switches his grip to your ear.

I know I’m a parent.

Jan 28 2008

Quick Updates

Jury duty this morning was annoying but short. We were held for an hour before being told that both cases had been plea-bargained. Still, it’s nice to have that over with for another year.

We had snow again last night and into this morning. I get great amusement out of how freaked out people around here get with an inch of snow. Oh Gawd- we can’t drive our 4-wheel-drive SUVs anymore! We have to flip out and spin across the road! Oh No- we have to close all of the schools! Oh Jeebus- I won’t be able to walk across the parking lot to my car! Save us, Jeebus! Save us!

My shingles have, so far, been pretty effectively controlled by the medicine. There’s still a little pain, but it’s SO minor compared to what it would have been if I hadn’t gotten the prescription I wanted. We’re still on chicken-pox watch for Cole, though.

They have replaced the chocolate in the snack drawer (and, actually, all of the snacks, though the chocolate is all I cared about) with carrot sticks. They think it’s hilarious. I think it’s disgusting (on so many levels.) I am considering quitting. (Not really, but I think I would be entirely justified in doing so. Do you think I can file a complaint with Human Resources?)

Jan 25 2008

This was fun!

1.Click this link.The first title on this page is the name of your band.

2. Now click this link. The last four words of the very last quote is the name of your album. If it doesn’t work at all, click the “New Random Quotations” button for more.

3. And finally, click this link. The third picture on this page will be your album cover. Add your band name and album title, and you’re done! (Please remember to give credit for the original picture.)(Um. I forgot to do that part. Yikes! Don’t be bad like me!)

Jan 25 2008

Doctor, Heal Thy Own BAD ATTITUDE.

The shingles are back. For real, this time.

I went to call my doctor this morning so that I could get a prescription, only to realize that my doctor is oh-so conveniently closed on Fridays. Must be nice for him!

So I dragged myself down to PromptCare, thinking “I just need an easy little prescription for something I have already accurately self-diagnosed. It can’t take THAT long.” An hour and a half of sitting and waiting later, and I finally heard the knock announcing that the doctor would be coming in the room.

He shuffled in on too-large loafers, scuffing heavily with every step. His eyes were heavy lidded and his expression said that he was JUST SO BORED with being there and couldn’t we all just go DIE on somebody else’s watch, please? I immediately wanted to kick him in his splotchy, apathetic face.

He callously poked at my side, after I told him that it was quite painful to be touched there. After a couple of seconds (which felt like an eternity), he said “okay, fine. I’ll give you this drug and that one and some Valium for the pain.” (What is it with doctors and Valium? It doesn’t work and they keep handing to me like candy. I have 89 tablets at home already and he just prescribed 24 more! Isn’t this supposed to be a controlled substance? On the other hand, I have to beg like HELL to get birth control, because you know all I really want to do is mainline it, right? Ortho Tri-Cyclen is DANGEROUS shit, man.) I asked him for a different kind of medicine, and he said “Sure. Whatever. You can have that,” which- great, all I wanted was a prescription anyway, but, dude, do you have to be so blase?

Then he scuffed his way back out of the room and I didn’t see him again. I was there for an hour and a half and saw him for less than 5 minutes. I feel that my health is so valued and my feelings are so respected.

Gosh, I love contemporary health care!

Even better- the meds that he originally prescribed to me I just found out are harder to take, have worse side effects, are not as effective, and cost 2 to 3 times more than the drug I requested. What an asshole!

It’s really too bad that Dr. Google can’t write prescriptions.

Jan 24 2008

There is no way…

…he could be cuter.

Unless, of course, I didn’t have to wipe his butt anymore. That would be an improvement.

Jan 24 2008

Random is my best friend.

We have snow today! It snowed about 2 inches or so overnight, and we woke up to this lovely, glistening winter wonderland.

Perhaps the snow is not so fascinating to many of you out there- it wasn’t so great for me, either when I lived in Pennsylvania. But it only snows this far down the hill maybe a couple of times each winter, and it doesn’t stay for long, so it’s still a novelty for me. Especially when I get to wake Cole up, take him out to the big front windows, and get to hear “NO!!! It’s NOwing!!” (Here ‘No’ means ‘snow,’ in case that was confusing. I mean, he does say ‘NO’ and mean ‘NO’ a lot, too, these days.)

Last night we were all playing together in the living room, pushing a soccer ball back and forth. Cole likes to dictate who gets the ball next, but he’s very fair, so we allow it. He must have gotten bored after a while, because he pushed us both down so that we were lying on our knees (child’s position for you yoga-types) and said “Night night. Go to sleep.” I couldn’t stop laughing and he was jumping up and down next to me making shushing noises. I didn’t know how to explain to him that it was only making me laugh harder. Finally, giving me up as a lost cause, he walked out of the room saying “Night night. Sweet Dreams.” I’m thinking there’s a good chance that this is not really that funny in the re-telling, but take my word for it: I was laughing so hard that I cried. As I told John, I may have laughed as hard at times before I had Cole, but it wasn’t nearly as frequently. Damn, I love having a kid.

Of course then he was a major pill this morning and even pulled the whole “As a protest for being forced to do things like GET DRESSED and HAVE MY DIAPER CHANGED,I have removed all of the bones from my body and am now a floppy eel who is more difficult to carry than ever” routine. My little punk. I call that move either “The Hippy” or “The Gandhi,” depending on my mood. Y’know- passive resistance and all.

(I still love having a kid. I still love having a kid. I still love having a kid.)

I’ve actually been pressing the having a second kid thing pretty hard lately. I think I’m getting closer! Closer to having John divorce me and being able to go out and get knocked up by some anonymous sperm donor. Which, now that I pause and think about it, is maybe not the path I want to take at this point. No, not so much. I guess I enjoy the stable, 2-parent household thing too much. That and being married to John. I still like that. I know- I’m weak. I should be willing to do anything if my convictions are strong enough, right? I think I’ll live with being weak on this one.

You really have to know how to pick your battles.

Jan 22 2008

It’s a Privilege

So, I hope you all saw the Tom Cruise video, because it was such a beautiful, brilliant piece of insanity, the likes of which is so rarely caught on tape. And even less rarely shared outside of the psychiatric community. If you didn’t see it, I advise trying to find a copy still left on the internet, though I believe most have been removed. It’s a DAMN shame.

If you did see it- wasn’t that fun? Good times… good times… Now watch this: