Jan 17 2008

In fact, I’m doing the pee-pee dance right now!

I am simultaneously spun up and wiped the fuck out. I have been eating like a teenager the last two days, which is something I tend to do during… um… certain times of the month. I had pepperoni Boboli pizza for dinner, several homemade chocolate chip cookies for dessert, more cookies for breakfast, a pizza bagel with cream cheese for brunch, two bowls of Life cereal for lunch, and about 8 more cookies for “snack.” I am the paragon of good health.

I have that anxious, twitchy feeling inside but all I want to do is sleep. It’s nothing new- I’ve been feeling that way all week. But now I also have a headache, a sore throat, and it feels like my face will be erupting in hives any moment. I’m so hott.

I have an odd personality glitch. I don’t have the trigger, as other people do, that tells me that I’m thirsty or hungry. I can go all day without eating or drinking, especially on the weekends. It takes suddenly feeling nauseous because of hunger or having my lips actually crack and bleed from dehydration to get me to do anything about it. But then, when I finally do, I’m obsessive about it. It’s like I also lack the trigger that tells me to stop. Especially with eating. I can eat and eat and eat until the food I’m shoveling is gone or it feels like I’m literally going to bust a gut. I’m sure that this is all great for my already seriously effed up metabolism.

This doesn’t stop with food, though. I also won’t pee until I am just about to pee my pants. I can be living in an insanely messy house, but won’t even notice until some random point when I will walk in and suddenly think “Holy shit- this place is a sty!” and then will obsessively clean for hours, if possible. I have also been known to irrationally dislike someone because of an early interaction, even if their later behavior was redeeming.

I don’t know what makes me do this, but it’s the cause of some of my worst behavior and I would really enjoy making it stop. So tell me- in your ever so humble but tremendously appreciated opinion, is this a legitimate reason to seek professional help?