The “Maybe” thing? A NO. A big, fat, disappointed, sad, and definite NO. And, oh fucking hell, did it make Thursday one big ass-suck of a day. I did my part and made sure those who love me felt it, too, because I care. Wait… no. Because I suck. That’s it.
Don’t worry- I’m not spiraling again. I’m really doing okay. I’ve had a great lot of disappointment so far this year, and I’m developing a kind of emotional “sinus fatigue” about it all. That’s okay- it’s irrational stuff to begin with, so I don’t really need to be feeling it.
And this past weekend was very nice. The smoke lifted a bit, giving us a chance to recall what comfortable breathing feels like. John and I took Cole to see Wall-E on Saturday and a delightful time was had by all… for about 90% of the time. We took a toddler to a movie and got what we expected, pretty much. He sat (mostly) still for, like I said, about 90% of the show until he had to go run some stairs. We did our best to keep him as little of a distraction to other movie-goers as possible, but… What can I say? You have to expect a few KIDS at a KID’S movie shown at 10:45 AM. Nobody seemed too put out.
Yesterday was John’s 29th birthday, and Cole and I made him blueberry pancakes for breakfast. Cole got his first lesson in the “Pans on the stove are fucking HOT” category with a small burn on the inside of his forearm. He hardly noticed and was jazzed that I let him have a bandaid, so it’s all good there.
That afternoon, we went to a Habitat for Humanity Sponsor thank you dinner (we’re, sadly, not sponsors, but the company we work for is) and now I have a serious bug up my butt to work on the next house they’re building. Habitat is pretty awesome.
John wanted pizza and cupcakes for dinner, so I bought pizza and made cupcakes from scratch. We were all pretty happy with that, diets be damned.
And last Friday I moved my office. I now have a REAL office with a whole DOOR and still have a window. I can’t really ask for more! It’s one of the nicest offices in the whole building. No complaints!
Today is the 7th anniversary of my actual wedding party (not my legal wedding and not when John and I felt we were married… Complicated enough for ya?!). John and I have actually been together nearly 12 years now. It’s certainly not always been easy, but it’s still completely worth it.
I love you, John! You are so very special to me, and I need to let you know that more often. Happy anniversary, my darling.