Oct 14 2008

Feed the Love

“Being able to speak freely is the lifeblood of love.” -Tokyo Godfathers

There are rare times in a person’s life when they see with such clarity how fortunate they really are.

I have recently had a glimpse at my account balance and I am rich. I am rich in Love and Friendship, and it is an unparalleled feeling.

I have more people standing by me and supporting me than I ever thought I would, and it is an overwhelming thing to finally realize. Even better, they are all people for whom I feel the same.

It is very hard for me to be open; to speak freely about how I feel about others, because I’m afraid that I’ll leave myself open to ridicule and pain. But if I can’t speak freely about love and good things, then how can I ever know how others feel in return? And when will it be too late to tell them? What if I never get the chance?

That won’t happen.

John- My darling, my defender, my protector, my love. It’s been 12 years and still not adequate time to tell you enough how I feel. Don’t ever wonder if I love you, because I always will. I would never choose anyone else to spend my life with.

Cole- You ARE my heart, not just in it.

Emi- I’m so proud of what you’ve achieved. You are gorgeous, smart, talented, and the kindest- hearted person I know. I treasure our relationship. I am fiercely proud of being your sister. I will always be here for you.

Spencer- Kiddo, I have watched you grow into such a wonderful person. You are kind, funny, generous, brilliant, and creative. What a man you’ll be! I’m so proud to know you.

Mom- Despite our differences, I never want to lose you. I am glad that you are finding what will make you happy. You deserve it.

Dad- I feel closer to you than ever. I may not always agree with you, but I am always impressed by what you’ve achieved. You have an excitement for life that I admire hugely. It’s so wonderful to see you so happy.

Alliya- You started off as my sister’s friend, then the sister of my friend, and now I feel more like you’re a sister to me. You are so gorgeous and vivacious, and I’m more than a little awed being in your presence. I love your joyfulness and wit, and I’ve been honored to have been included by you so many times. Thank you.

Otis- For so long you’ve been like my brother. You are funny and honest and your generosity has been overwhelming. I’ve always found you to be such an impressively balanced person- a planner who isn’t afraid to take some risks for fun and the experience. Thank you for always embracing us. And you married a wonderful woman who I’d love to get to know better. I dearly hope that I get that chance.

Josh F- I have been blown away by your kindness, thoughtfulness, and loyalty, even at times when I know you’ve been struggling with one thing or another. I see so much amazing potential in you, and I have such great hopes. I appreciate how you are able to tease me without ever making me feel like you are anything but joking. You are refreshingly honest and straightforward.

Thalisha- I never thought we’d be good friends, but I am so pleased that we are. You inspire me. You are so talented and so lovely. I have felt so greedy to learn from you, yet you have never made me feel anything but welcome and encouraged. You’ve shared so much and taught me so much. I am continually impressed by you.

Richard- You brat. How can so much enthusiasm and talent be in one person? You are so creative, and your excitement for your projects is so infectious. Thank you for your patience, your honesty, and your friendship- it means more than I can express. Thanks for all the hugs, too.

Casey- No matter the distance that separates us or the time spent apart, I will always feel instantly close to you, just as I did the first time we met. You’re just an incredible person, and there’s so much I wish I could learn from you.

Naomi- I, since the first time we met, have always been in awe of your genius. I always enjoy time with you. Your generosity and wonderful advice can never be repaid, but I wish we lived closer so I could try. You have been a mentor and a friend. When I think of the kind of mother I want to be, I think of you.

Hannah- If I could find a way to get you to move back to CA and live next to me, I’d do it. I have felt so comfortable with you from the start. You have heard things that no one else has from me. You’re an amazing woman.

Kylee- I don’t feel that I know you as well as I should or would like to, but you’ve been nothing but kind and welcoming to me and my family. I would love to have the chance to know you better, and I would like nothing more than if you could one day be my son’s teacher, because I know we couldn’t ask for a better one.

Josh G- We’ve not been close in the past few years, but it’s always fun to see you. I so appreciate how you accepted me from the start. You are so funny and have such a great, relaxed attitude. I know, too, that underneath you are a great big teddy bear, and I think it’s adorable. You’ve always been willing to help me, even if all I needed was someone to stand with me or pour me more scotch.

I apologize for my awkward words- they do not begin to do these wonderful people justice, and barely even scrape the top of the love I feel for them.

So here’s what I want from you: if this has touched you or made you think about the wonderful people in your life, write about it. Write it in the comments, on your blog, or in an email or letter to those people. Don’t just feel the love, FEED it. Love needs fuel, and we all need love.

FEED THE LOVE.

This list also doesn’t include those who have given me support and inspiration on the internet, because most I’ve never met in real life. Some of those fantastic people include:

Jami
Jenny (Crash Test Mommy)
HeatherPride
The Princess
SunShine
Anne Nahm
Sizzle
The Hotfessional
Beth Fish
Rude Cactus
Susan Wagner
Miss Zoot
Amalah
Sweetney

Thank you all.