Nov 14 2008

Why I’m Tired Today

Last night I woke up to Cole climbing in my bed beside me. He never goes to John’s side, only to mine, even though I am farthest from the door and have a treacherous path covered in laundry piles. It was 2-something in the morning, and I must have been really passed out because I usually wake when I hear his sticky door crack open, but this time he was already on the bed with his mouth at my ear.

“Hi, baby. Whatcha doing?”
“Hi, momma. I sleep wif you.”
“No, sweetheart, you’re a big boy and you have to sleep in your big boy bed. Come with me- it’s still time for sleeping.”
“I know! I sleep HERE! (jamming finger into my pillow repeatedly) I sleep wif YOU!”
“Shh, baby, I’ll take you back to bed.”

I went to pick him up and he made like a plank- every muscle fighting to keep him in my bed, on my pillow- and wrapped his arm around under the pillow. In my sleepy, weakened state, it was difficult to pick him up. Only 35 pounds, and still I struggled. This is the strength of his determination and his will. I carried him cradled in my arms back to bed, whispering to him what a big boy he is and how much I love him the whole way.

I do love him- so much- but I still don’t love being kicked all night while he sleeps.

I snuggled him back in bed, gave him kisses, and returned to my own bed.

He is an amazing child, my son. I know this is just another little story, and not even a particularly funny or poignant one, but it’s just so HIM.

With the combination of determination, will, and sweetness that I see in him every day, he is going to be one incredible man.