Nov 18 2008

Tired? I’ll Show You Tired.

Last night, Cole was “reading” to me from one of his comic books while we both sat on his bed. After I grew a little bored of hearing “There’s Superman! And Wonder Woman! And Flash! And Green Lantern! And Aquaman! And Batman!,” I laid my head down on his pillow to let him continue while I closed my eyes and thought of other things… like the guy who played Lex Luthor in Smallville in only a pair of boxer-briefs… I certainly didn’t think that Cole would pay me any mind, seeing as he was so entranced by the Superheroes.

But he did notice and, instead of asking me to sit up so that he could continue with my full attention, he put the comic down and laid his head on the side of my stomach. After a minute, he popped back up to request that we get a blanket. We snuggled down together under a blanket with our foreheads touching. We gave each other a kiss, and he cupped my cheek in his hand and stroked my eyebrows. I breathed him in- my beautiful son- and decided to treasure every second I have of him being my only. And then we both closed our eyes.

The next thing I knew, it was quite a bit later and John was shaking me awake to come to bed. I brushed my teeth and hardly opened my eyes through the whole process. I climbed into bed with my clothes on and fell back to sleep. John woke me up a little later when he turned off the light and set the alarm- something I usually do. He climbed back in bed, expressed surprise when he noticed I still had my clothes on, and laughed at me while I stripped. As soon as my clothes were off and my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep again.

I got through most of my morning routine without opening my eyes. Waking up was rough and, now that coffee is starting to make me feel ill, there was no real help to be found.

And today? All I want to do is curl up on my couch with a stupid movie and a cozy blanket and SLEEP. Getting work done? Uh… I’m really trying, honestly. This morning was fairly productive, but this afternoon has been pretty lazy. Um… I bought a new carseat for Cole because he’s getting so big. Does that count?

Self- welcome, yet again, to the First Trimester.