Jan 23 2009

Random Poop

Yesterday, Cole walked in to my room as I was putting on my underpants. He circled me once, with his finger on top of the waistband, then stopped and announced “Mom- your underpants are the GREATEST.” Good to know that bright green, maternity undies are the height of fashion, even if it’s only in the preschooler set.

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My pregnancy dreams, once sexy and nice, have taken a turn to the dark side. They are still as vivid and real as ever, but now they are nightmares. Most recently, I had one where I was at work doing some horrible, last-minute, super-important project and I really had to pee, and another where my father called me and told me that my sister had died. I AM NOT DOWN WITH THIS. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. PLEASE RETURN STEAMY SEX DREAMS ASAP.

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Regular pooping appears to be a thing of the past (thank you VERY FUCKING MUCH, iron!), but regular baby movement seems to be a thing of the present and future. How do I feel about trading one regularity for the other? Not too bad, all things considered.

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I have to be “booth babe” for a Wine conference next week (out of town, and away from my boys). Can you believe the unfairness of that? Sending the one pregnant person in the whole company to the WINE CONFERENCE?! But they won’t let me out of it no matter how much I waddle and wave the growing evidence of my “condition” their direction. So instead, I will try to enjoy myself as much as possible by having dinner with friends at least one of the nights. It’s not often that I get to go out to dinner and don’t have to ask for crayons or a booster seat. I am almost finished with the conference rounds for this year, and they won’t be able to make me do it next year, thank fucking goodness.

Because of the conference, I will also not be able to write much next week, but I hope you all have a better week than I will.