Mar 04 2009

20 Weeks

Here I am, halfway through this pregnancy and STILL having trouble entirely coming to grips with having another child. A very wanted, appreciated, planned child, but still… It’s a weird feeling, and one that I thought I would get over once I could feel the kicking, but the kicking is here and I still can’t believe it’s really happening.

But happening it certainly is, evidence of which we were given in spades at our ultrasound yesterday, an ultrasound which added yet another level of incredulous disbelief. Because, you see, in the ultrasound technician’s opinion, we will be welcoming a girl into our family in July.

A GIRL.

She might as well have told us to expect an alien or Bigfoot.

Not that I’m unhappy about it- FAR from it. I’m delirious with joy each time I let myself believe that we might have a little girl. It’s just that… well… I don’t believe it. It has nothing to do with mother’s intuition, I’m fairly certain, and everything to do with the fact that all of the babies that I have had the privilege to care for in my life have been boys. I have never, ever had to change a girl baby diaper or gotten to dress up a girl baby in pink, or whatever it is that girl babies are supposed to wear these days. I am very comfortable with my role and experience as a mother of a boy and I’m having a lot of trouble switching into girl mode.

And I really don’t care for pink. The color of my blog’s background was always meant to be vaguely ironic.

So I spent some time this morning poring over ultrasound pictures of 20-week baby girls, hoping to find one that looked JUST LIKE my baby’s picture to once and for all PROVE that I am or am not having a girl.

Can I just say HA! You can laugh as hard as you’d like at my naivete. I am.

(Also- there are some REALLY bad ultrasound pictures out there. Like, are you having a baby or an amorphous blob? But a really sweet amorphous blob! *ahem*)

So girl baby is what we’re going with, because it’s the best we’ve got until she’s (OMG- SHE) born.