I SWEAR that I have been trying to post, but that something has not been working the last few times. I couldn’t even get anything into a draft. I know that there was REALLY VITALLY important and fantastic stuff that I had to write about, but I can’t remember for anything what it might have been. About all I can think about right now is 1) When the fuck this baby might be coming out, 2) The ultimate deliciousness of my new mango/nectarine salsa recipe(NOMNOMNOM), and… wait… I’m sure there was something else…
Oh yeah! … and 3) how much I like all the covers for the intro song for The Wire.
(My memory- she ain’t what she used to be.)
And just like that, in the last two days, I’ve gone from being cool with whenever Roo decided to show up to being just DONE with being pregnant. I have hit full term (which, technically, is 38 weeks) and she has officially become a trespasser. And while I still recognize that I will enter new levels of pain and sleep deprivation upon her arrival, I am really ready to have my own body back. To be able to put down this load once in a while- what bliss. That and being able to see her beautiful face. And making sure she’s really a girl. I would honestly be perfectly happy either way, sex-wise, but it sure would be a LOT more trouble if she turns out to have a penis.
I’m still not really feeling like I’ll make it the rest of the 13 days this time, but I also don’t know if that’s just wishful thinking. In one way, it would be really nice if I could, for the leave and all, but then there’s the whole being pregnant for another 13 days thing… I suppose, in the end, it’s not up to me.
We are fairly certain, as of today, that we have Cole’s preschool situation worked out, and in a better way than I thought possible. I found an actual school- not a home-based daycare- that it enrolling and is NOT CHURCH ORIENTED. It is also not significantly different in price than what we’d been paying, so we feel comfortable with being able to swing that. I took a little tour today and it felt really good- the kids were happy, the facility was nice, the teachers seemed good. I told myself that I would go with my gut this time, and my gut approved (and there’s a lot of gut there right now!). I think Cole will be very happy there but, even better, I think he will be safe and cared for.
But, in fine heels fashion, just as I’m feeling situated with one section of life, something else has to take a step back. It seems that I have most likely lost my labor support. My grandmother, who was supposed to be here already, keeps pushing back her visit and now will probably not be here until the 15th. At the earliest. Yes, it’s certainly possible that she will still make it in time, but this extra level of uncertainty is very frustrating to me, someone who likes to plan as much as possible. I don’t have any good alternatives here. There aren’t many people I’m comfortable with enough to have there with me, and we don’t have the financial resources to hire someone, if we could even get anyone at this late date. I know that things will work out either way, there are just more comfortable and easier ways than others.
I’ll need to post a new belly-shot in the next few days (if I don’t have a baby fist, that is!) because I swear I’ve gotten even bigger. My midwife is predicting that the little crotch-puncher will be a good 8+ pounds. We’ll see. SOON.