Jul 17 2009

2 Days

I don’t really know what to say, except that there are, officially anyway, only two days left before we get to meet this new kid and already I feel about a week overdue.

I had a dream last night that I had her and she was marvelous in every way, including that she had been born with a minimum of damage to me. Quite possibly one of the best dreams ever.

My grandmother has finally arrived and so I am no longer too concerned about labor support. Now I am just consumed by thoughts of when I might actually go into labor. I just want it to START. I feel like I’m suspended here and that my life can’t move forward until we get this thing going.

It’s in the 100′s here, and so too hot for me to get out and walk like I want to. I used to drive to the mall to walk when I was waiting for Cole because the days had gotten too cold, but we don’t have malls here. The closest thing in town to a mall is WalMart, and going in there is hardly worth being in air conditioning.

So I clean. And wait. And think about the projects I’d like to start but KNOW that I won’t be able to finish because I’m sure that, just as I get a good project started, I will go into labor and it will sit for the next two years making me feel bad about myself and my ability to get anything done. I already have enough projects like this.

Chances are, though, that this will be over within a week. At least, that’s what I tell myself. Don’t tell me differently.