Aug 26 2008

Scenes From a Torture Chamber

… I mean the Dentist’s office**.

This morning I had to go get a filling. It’s been a while, thanks to my parent’s prudent bonding of my teeth as a child and decent oral hygiene ever since. I arrived at 8 and was told that I didn’t have an appointment.

Wait… what?

Oh- sorry! The appointment is at 10:20. Come back then.

Fine.

So I arrived at 10:10 for my appointment. And waited. And waited. And what happened next? Yup- I waited.

Whatever. I got to see pictures of Portia and Ellen’s wedding and listen to the man in the operating room next to me snore as he was under sedation.

Then they came to numb me. I got topical first and then, after about 10 more minutes of waiting (and more snoring from next door), the dentist came to give me the shot. And? She’s awesome. I was freaked out (I HATE NEEDLES), but I closed my eyes, breathed deeply (she even complimented me on my “beautiful breathing”), and it was over with hardly a pinch.

However, when she was finished, it looked like I had lost a brief fight with a pole.

(Taken from my Blackberry all sneaky-like, because I wasn’t supposed to have my phone on at all. Eeep!)

Do you see that lip? I didn’t intend to come away from the dentist looking like I’d had collagen injection. I told the dentist that I was on to her- she was trying to turn me into a Muppet. She looked at me a little oddly.

It felt like they had surgically attached a vienna sausage to my face where my upper lip should be. At one point during the filling process, she kind of flapped my lip, while at the same time the guy next door started snoring again. I was doing my best not to shake with laughter as she was trying to drill, thinking that that probably wasn’t entirely conducive to the process. Or to being able to keep my teeth.

Anyway, now, 6 hours later, the swelling is gone. At one point I was ready to rip my lip off because I kept feeling an itch there that I could not scratch. It was making me insane! But now I can talk and scratch like a “normal” person once more. Hurrah. And perhaps I’ll be able to keep my teeth for at least one more day.

(** I actually really like going to the dentist. Except for the needles.)

4 Comments

  • By Jami, August 27, 2008 @ 10:31 am

    Thanks to my skillful selection of parents, I managed to inherit my mother’s youthful good looks and lousy teeth. Dentists don’t bother me at all.

    Here’s my “it coulda been worse” story. When I was younger, I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth extracted by a military dentist. He did it under a local. I had so much anesthetic in my mouth that my entire face was literally numb from my eyebrows to my chin. The only bad part about it was that I couldn’t tell when I was breathing through my nose and would feel a little suffocated while he was working. And whenever I blinked it would startle me because I couldn’t feel it and suddenly something would drop down over my eyes. No, really! True story!

  • By HeatherPride, August 27, 2008 @ 11:59 am

    Oh my gosh, Jami’s story about made my fingers numb with shock and I can hardly type…..but the vienna sausage stuck to my face quip MIGHT be my favorite line of the day!

  • By nrp, August 27, 2008 @ 1:32 pm

    Well! We were at the dentist’s yesterday too.

    For Jonah’s first cavity… Check up a few weeks ago: everything looks perfect! Keep up the good work! Over the weekend: My tooth huuuurrrtttsss! First day of Kindergarten: I make an appointment to see the dentist (for the following day). By the time I pick him up, his cheek’s all swollen. Call the pediatrician for antibiotics, thinking I’ll stay ahead of the game. The next morning: Swelling has spread. Dentist takes one look and sends us to the hospital for IV antibiotics (am doing my best to block all memories of those 4 hours). The tooth comes out next week. Sigh. It’s been a long couple of days.

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