Apr 04 2008

My Paranoia: Let me show you it!

Perhaps I have some “‘splainin’” to do regarding the whole shark/plane crash/Hawaii thing.

I have a paranoid fear of fish. It might be easily confused with a fear of large-ish bodies of water (into which category you’d have to include pools and hot-tubs, but not puddles or sinks) (unless you mean sinks full of dishes and soapy water where I would surely get sliced by an errant knife should I stick my hand in, which is totally why I don’t do dishes) (totally!), but that wouldn’t be true. No- it’s a fear of what could be and, if I am there, SURELY IS hidden in that water. It doesn’t matter a whit if I can see to the bottom and all sides- there is something in there that will hurt me or eat me. For this reason, I can’t even swim in pools alone- my fear gets the best of me.

And the plane crash thing? I don’t know- I guess I just feel so out of control on planes. I know a crash is unlikely, and I’ve successfully flown all over the world, but I get nervous every time. I’m not the person who is white-knuckled and gibbering, though. I keep it together just fine. It doesn’t stop me worrying about it at night, though.

As for all of your kind concerns about Hawaii: We are going to Kauai, which is one of the older of the islands and isn’t quite so active anymore. I’m not afraid of lava for some reason. Maybe because the last time we were there (on Hawaii proper) I walked on it while it was still pretty fresh- fresh enough to melt my sneakers anyway. It was stupid (apparently, I’m still stupid- it just took me 3 times to type stupid correctly there. First it was “tupid” then it was “atupid.” Actually, I kind of like “tupid.”), but it also wasn’t like we meant to. We also spun fresh lava into little pots, which was totally awesome. So lava? Not so much a fear.

The sunburn thing IS a fear, but one I can do something about. I have some of the palest, Irish, white-girl skin you’ve ever seen, and I sunburn like a mo-fo. Last time we were there, I DID get a horrible sunburn; so bad that I was ill and stuck inside the house. But I am 7 years older (holy crap- it’s been 7 years?) and a mom now. I’ll never let Cole out without sunscreen, and putting his on will help me remember to put mine on. I think we’ll be okay. Do you think our 55 spf will do the trick? I don’t want any chance of a tan. I embrace my cracker-ness.

So, while we’re at it, what else do I need to be worrying about? Do you have irrational fears? Of what? Do tell!

1 Comment

  • By Josh, April 10, 2008 @ 11:20 am

    I’ve always had this fear of driving a car off a cliff. Not, like, suicidally or anything – but just driving too fast or hard around a curve and flinging myself into an ocean or a body of water. It’s a staple of my dreams. And more of a fear to me than getting hit by a car while on my bike, which is far more likely.

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