Jan 25 2008

Doctor, Heal Thy Own BAD ATTITUDE.

The shingles are back. For real, this time.

I went to call my doctor this morning so that I could get a prescription, only to realize that my doctor is oh-so conveniently closed on Fridays. Must be nice for him!

So I dragged myself down to PromptCare, thinking “I just need an easy little prescription for something I have already accurately self-diagnosed. It can’t take THAT long.” An hour and a half of sitting and waiting later, and I finally heard the knock announcing that the doctor would be coming in the room.

He shuffled in on too-large loafers, scuffing heavily with every step. His eyes were heavy lidded and his expression said that he was JUST SO BORED with being there and couldn’t we all just go DIE on somebody else’s watch, please? I immediately wanted to kick him in his splotchy, apathetic face.

He callously poked at my side, after I told him that it was quite painful to be touched there. After a couple of seconds (which felt like an eternity), he said “okay, fine. I’ll give you this drug and that one and some Valium for the pain.” (What is it with doctors and Valium? It doesn’t work and they keep handing to me like candy. I have 89 tablets at home already and he just prescribed 24 more! Isn’t this supposed to be a controlled substance? On the other hand, I have to beg like HELL to get birth control, because you know all I really want to do is mainline it, right? Ortho Tri-Cyclen is DANGEROUS shit, man.) I asked him for a different kind of medicine, and he said “Sure. Whatever. You can have that,” which- great, all I wanted was a prescription anyway, but, dude, do you have to be so blase?

Then he scuffed his way back out of the room and I didn’t see him again. I was there for an hour and a half and saw him for less than 5 minutes. I feel that my health is so valued and my feelings are so respected.

Gosh, I love contemporary health care!

Even better- the meds that he originally prescribed to me I just found out are harder to take, have worse side effects, are not as effective, and cost 2 to 3 times more than the drug I requested. What an asshole!

It’s really too bad that Dr. Google can’t write prescriptions.

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