May 11 2007

Baby(ies?)

There are now a few bloggers who I started reading when I was pregnant, who were also pregnant at the same time, who are now starting to try for another baby. Suddenly, I also get asked all of the time by all kinds of people when I might try to have another. I guess that, for most people, when the first child gets close to 2 years old it’s a “normal” time to think about a second. It seems to be about the time that moms start forgetting the torture of pregnancy, childbirth, and early infancy.

Here’s my confession: though I am outwardly a staunchly single-child kind of person, there are many moments, and they are increasing in frequency, when I start trying to figure out how we could have another.

When I step back from it, I know that we can’t afford it, we don’t really have a good reason to have another (not that that ever makes a difference when it comes to children!), we’re already feeling overwhelmed and like we have no time in a day, and, again, we can’t afford it. Like, AT ALL.

I also know that I’m not ready for the breast-feeding disappointments, the sleepless nights, the spit-up, the worry about the child being healthy or normal… all of those pregnant/new parent things.

My life right now doesn’t need further complication. It’s balanced… enough.

I like being able to give Cole all of my time. I like him knowing that he is the most important person in my life, with competition only from his daddy.

But there’s this itch to have a tiny, wrinkly, little baby to snuggle with again. A baby who really needs me, not a big boy who can do so much for himself now. I ache for the tiny feet, the mewling cries, the rooting, the itty-bitty clothes. I miss the huge, taut belly and having my baby with me all of the time.

There are lots of things that are wonderful about being pregnant and having a newborn. I just really have to keep the bad stuff in mind to counter act all of it. The really bad stuff.

Can someone who I’m close to just get pregnant so I can snuffle on their baby as much as I want? That would really work better for my pocketbook right now.

3 Comments

  • By em, May 12, 2007 @ 10:40 am

    You guys are amazing parents who are passing on many fine traits not always posessed by the breeding type. I think you would be fine no matter what – all of you- if you had another.
    BUUUUT…You kinda lucked out with Cole being as good as he is. I bet mom was saying the same things as you right before she got pregnent with ME! hehehe. You might just want to count your blessings with your angel child and not open up the opportunity for that little devil one.
    HOWEVER! You shoudl ahev one so I can live through you. Only if you hae a girl though.

  • By sunShine, May 17, 2007 @ 1:10 pm

    People ask us all the time when we are having another one and I honestly have no desire to have have another baby. I did enjoy snuggling with my baby when he was really young and I loved breastfeeding, but I don’t want to do it again. What does Cole think? Would he like a brother or sister?

  • By heels, May 17, 2007 @ 1:24 pm

    sunshine- Though Cole has never expressed his interest one way or another, and I’m not even sure he understands the concept of siblings or the possibility that he could ever have one, I have a feeling that he enjoys his time with us and would have trouble sharing. But maybe that’s just me…

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