Oct 25 2006


And again- today is another milestone. My little peanut butter cracker, my bubba, my pickle-butt, my preshie-pants- he be 1! One year old, and I’m feeling just wretched about it.

I think about all of the moments I have missed and they gang up and rip my throat out.

My baby. My baby no more.

All I can see in him is the little boy. His cheeks are slimming, his back is broadening, his legs aren’t so bandy, his movements are so deliberate and becoming so precise. He doesn’t cry like a baby, he doesn’t eat like a baby, he doesn’t poop or smell or sleep like a baby anymore.

It’s gone, and my memory isn’t good enough. Do you know that we own a video camera but have never taped him? Not ever. It makes me sick.

But he is so wonderful. As we bounced on the bed this morning singing our birthday song, I was struck with just how fabulous he is and how I can’t wait to see the amazing adult he’ll become.

My little boy.

Today is Cole’s Birthday;
Come we all and let us sing.
Wish him health and all good things.
Today is Cole’s Birthday!
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
We love you.
Happy Birthday and may all your
Dreams come true.
When you blow out your candle,
One light stays aglow.
That’s the love-light in your eyes
Where-e’er you go.

I love you Cole. Happy Birthday (baby).


  • By Anonymous, October 25, 2006 @ 5:57 pm

    Oooh…happy birthday sweet baby boy!

  • By nrp, October 25, 2006 @ 10:56 pm

    Congratulations to all of you! Both for the 1 and the 10!

  • By sunShine, October 26, 2006 @ 6:34 am

    Happy Birthday Cole! Mine will be one in less than 2 weeks and it is heart wrenching. It all went by waaaayyyyy too fast.

  • By em, October 26, 2006 @ 12:49 pm

    c’mon, I know I’ll see him in like, 2 days, but where is the birthday picture?? I own a video camera too and haven’t taken footage since we lived together in Sonora. I’m a terrible mum. I do forget what he was like too, so I highly suggest we both begin RIGHT NOW! Happy one year anniversary of being a mom…you and John deserve the f*ing cake!

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