Sep 28 2006

Lyrically Challenged

When I was little, I had a very difficult time with song lyrics. Usually, when hearing a new song, I would get most of the lyrics right, but then flub a line pretty awfully. The fact that the line would make little sense really made no difference to me and never served to clue me in.

A few good ones:

My sister and I were listening to the radio when a new Buick ad came on. What we heard “The great American road belongs to Pubic.” Honestly. And we had NO IDEA that pubic was a real word, and CERTAINLY had no idea what it meant. We just thought that was the name of the car company, having never heard of Buick. We ran into my mom’s bathroom, eager to show off the new ditty we could sing. When we were finished, she looked at us and, stifiling laughter, asked if we knew what pubic meant. We looked at each other, confused, and said no, except that it was a car company. She said ‘That’s Pubic!” and pointed down. I was so embarrased I thought I would be sick. It was the first of several that my family wouldn’t let me live down.

Later, I heard the song that has the lyrics “making love to the rythm of the ceiling fan”, except that, no. Not “ceiling fan” at all. Oh! “Steel drum band!” I see. I’m challenged, clearly.

The best was in late elementary/early high school- I can’t remember exactly when. I hadn’t heard much Elvis, and the song “Hound Dog” was fairly new to me. My mom and I were riding in the car when it came up on the radio. I started singing along and was going just fine, until my mom interrupted me to ask “what are you singing as the chorus?” I said “I ain’t nuthin’ but a Hound Dog, crappin’ on a tire.” Mm-hm. That’s really what I thought. She laughed hysterically, embarrassing me permanently again, and said “it’s Cryin’ all the time, not crappin’ on a tire! HAHAHAHAHA!!!”


Now I’ll get to see what lyrics Cole comes up with. He already loves music and will boogie at the slightest provocation.

My nephew has already come up with a good one, now that I think of it. For the song “Baby Beluga” he sings “…and a little white whale and a goat” when it should be “…and a little white whale on the go.” A whale and a goat is a more interesting image, I’ll give him that.


  • By Johnny Logic, September 28, 2006 @ 12:48 pm

    What about “if you wanna new car, pussycow”? Oh it’s “go see Cal”!

    Cal Worthington and his dog Spot– those were the days. I realize that only Californians of a certain age will have any clue what this post refers to….

  • By em, September 28, 2006 @ 1:11 pm

    good one john! I remember “pussy cow”! April and Lisa and I used to always fight about Sublime lyrics in High School. There a song that either says “fist hit someone drinking” or “fisted someone drinking”. Although the latter was always more interesting, I stuck by my argument that people don’t just go around fisting people at parties…unless they’re fisting parties in whihc case, they do…I should stop.

  • By heels, September 28, 2006 @ 1:36 pm

    Damn. I forgot about pussycow.

    Of course, almost EVERYONE thought it was pussycow. The ones I mentioned were just out of my own special brain.

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