Aug 28 2006

Old Pee.

Regarding the question about whether someone actually peed on my couch, I wrote about it back on August 8, 2003:

**************

On Friday I helped a customer with a pair of Chacos. As she was trying
on the sandals she started wiggling and asked if she could use the
bathroom. Because of previous problems, we no longer allow our
customers to use the bathroom. I told her, as usual, that the bathroom
was out of order. She said no problem, I’ll just run over to the
restaurant next door when we’re finished here. She paid for her shoes
and left. A few minutes later I went over to the couch where she had
been sitting. This particular couch is actually a rustic wooden bench
with dark blue silk throw pillows to cushion the seat and two big
leopard print pillows- one for each corner. I noticed that one of the
leopard print pillows was misplaced and picked it up to put it back.
But, when I looked underneath, I froze. There was a huge, dark, WET
spot where this woman had been sitting. She had PISSED on my mother-
fucking couch and left it for me to clean up! SHe wasn’t old- she
couldn’t have been more than 60 (probably in her late fifties). She
wasn’t wierd- she was dressed nicely and (mostly)behaved properly. Why,
oh god, why did she piss on my pillow? We will never know, but I’m the
lucky one who got to bring it home with me to see if the dry- cleaner
can do anything about it. I feel so privileged.

****************

There you go. It really happened. You want to know a secret? I never was able to get that pillow cleaned. The dry-cleaner said it would get ruined. So I let it dry, sprayed it with disinfectant stuff, and put it back on the couch. I never sat on that couch ever again. Horrible, isn’t it?

5 Comments

  • By Hoosier Girl, August 28, 2006 @ 2:45 pm

    I’m sorry to tell you that before my kids were potty-trained, there were lots of pee=pee accidents on my couch.
    Of course, that’s why I don’t have that couch anymore!

    Uck, and double-uck to old lady pee, though! How rude!
    J.

  • By nrp, August 29, 2006 @ 7:43 am

    Hmmm…. I’ve probably sat on that very pillow at one time or another. Thanks for the heads up.

  • By sunShine, August 29, 2006 @ 8:25 am

    That is just gross. Maybe she forgot to put on her DEPENDS that day!

  • By Beth Fish, August 30, 2006 @ 5:56 am

    Wow. That’s… um… wow. Gross.

  • By The Princess, August 31, 2006 @ 4:02 pm

    That is just really unbelievable! The audacity of some people ya’ know?!?!

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