Apr 19 2006

Because the excitement in my life would KILL you if I wrote about it.

A Google game- play along!

Danielle needs help. Mental, physical, with the laundry- just in general, in fact.
Danielle needs your vote. Or she might come break your legs.
Danielle needs more self-respect when it comes to the boys she chooses. Whore.
Danielle needs to feel that she’s safe at all times and could be located in a real emergency. As opposed to a fake emergency.
Danielle needs to stop. But…I won’t.

Danielle wants a moustache ride from Tom Selleck. Well… he was cute at one time but…I dunno…
Danielle wants to be a role model to others. Because my choices in boys are obviously so good.
Danielle wants none of the lady-loving, I’m sad to say. Like Tom Selleck isn’t enough.
Danielle wants to apologize to him, too, as she’s sure she caused him some serious stress. I mean, his moustache can only bear so much weight.
Danielle wants to be a cosmetics queen. Mary Kay- Here I come!

Danielle has become who she is today because of the support around her. And all of the cosmetics.
Danielle has a pet rock; and an awesome hat. Ooh, thanks. I like it too.
Danielle has gone to Cannes in the year 2000. Yeah. I wish. Maybe Tom Selleck took me.
Danielle has worked as a Clairvoyant Channeler and Tonal Healer. You need an enema. I can tell from here.
Danielle has been a leader in the baby bedding industry. Her own bedding, however, is covered in baby vomit, urine, spit-up, and drool most of the time.

Danielle would never have reconciled with her husband. If I had gone for that lady-lovin’.
Danielle would always come in about 20 minutes late. Sadly, too close to the truth.
Danielle would head to the north. To the land of the ice and snow…
Danielle, would you like this extra copy of the ‘Left Behind’ DVD? Um…no. Really, really no. But thanks for asking!
Danielle would welcome the connection. Heck, she’s been stranded all alone for 16 years right? A woman needs some lovin’ every once in a while!!! But not lady-lovin’!

Danielle……. can you say sexy. Well, I guess I do look pretty good in this skirt. It’s new. Thanks for noticing!
Danielle can draw antelope better than life. Better than life- I make ‘em SEXXX-AY!
Danielle can sleep with one eye open. And, most frequently, both eyes open. Oh wait- that’s not sleep.
Danielle can often have no feeling of self worth at all. And, therefore, does not choose boys well.
Danielle can also be heard on the As Good As It Gets soundtrack. A movie where there’s boy-on-boy lovin’, but STILL NO LADY-LOVIN’!

1 Comment

  • By ticknart, April 20, 2006 @ 4:57 pm

    Two things:
    1. Why no copy of ‘Left Behind’? It’s good for humor and horror. (The horror being that people actually think it’s true. The humor being the movie, the concept, the people who actually think it’s true.)

    2. If you take the last four letter word out of one of the statements, it becomes much more interesting.

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