Feb 02 2006

Junkie doesn’t BEGIN to describe it.

Since I have been back to work, I have needed some help in the afternoon with the whole “staying awake” thing (highly overrated, let me tell you). Smacking my knees into my desk drawers was losing its charm, so I decided to try chemicals- Diet Dr. Pepper, so be precise.

I have NEVER in my life liked diet sodas and, in fact, have always avoided them like they were the boy who masturbated through his coat pocket during high school english class.

But diet Dr. Pepper? I have become absurdly addicted to it. I dream about it. I have a fanatical craving for the stuff. I used to like regular Dr. Pepper before I gave up drinking soda (mostly), but never like this. Do you think the secret ingredient is Heroin?

Yesterday, after I finished my hit…I mean…bottle, I even went so far as to plot a route miles out of my way that would take me to a place where I could score another. Then I realized that it would mean more time away from my baby and decided that I should just go home. Plus, driving miles out of my way for a SODA? Is just frickin’ sad, people.

So do I go get one today or not? Do I quit cold turkey or just let myself have this “one little thing” because without it I may end up with my keyboard firmly imprinted on my forehead? “Cause I don’t really think that’d be a good look for me…

3 Comments

  • By Anonymous, February 2, 2006 @ 11:15 am

    I’m no good for advice. To quote Brokeback Mountain, I say to Dr. Pepper, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Sorry, I’m really goofy today.

    It looks like you’ll be staying overnight in a smoke odor free apartment. They’re coming next week to start the repairs and cleaning.

    Hannah

  • By ticknart, February 2, 2006 @ 4:09 pm

    The DeMars joke has made my day. Thank you.

  • By Rude Cactus, February 5, 2006 @ 11:35 am

    I never have been able to get into diet stuff…even the good doctor.

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