Jul 12 2005

We have our second Childbearing Essentials class tonight. I’m really trying to go into it with a good attitude. I’m trying to tell myself that maybe the people were strange partly because it was the first night and everybody was a little uncomfortable with the new experience. Right? …Wish me luck.

My mom should get here on friday afternoon with my car! Finally!! I bought this car two months ago (or it feels like that at least) and I haven’t even driven it yet. It’s a good thing that it will be here soon because my car is threatening a little more each morning that it just won’t start one of these days. Talk about a bad attitude.

Of course the first thing I will have to do when I get my new car is put my new car-seat in it. Just to test it out. I’m not anxious or anything…no, no way. I’m just fine with waiting 12-15 more weeks to meet my son. Just fine.

I think my mom is bringing some shower gifts with her too. I’ll have to wait until mid-august when we go on vacation to open those. So unfair!! It’s like having your christmas presents under the tree for a month before you get to open them. TORTURE!!! Like I’m not being tortured with waiting enough. (I WANT HIM NOW, DAMMIT, NOW!!) She’s also bringing massage. My mother is an amazing massage giver even though she’s never been formally trained. It must help that she’s been in constant pain for a large portion of her life and has gotten MANY massages from many different therapists through the years. I suppose you pick up a few tricks. I also think it helps one’s ability to relieve pain if one has physical pain. Whatever the reason, she gives me better massages than anybody (John’s are wonderful and he is developing his skills quite nicely, but she has more experience).

Anywho… the real life has been fairly uneventful. I had a little pregnancy scare, but I think I just got myself worked up because it has been going so smoothly. The midwife I talked to was very reassuring and made me feel a hell of a lot better. I keep feeling like something is going to go wrong, but maybe I’ve finally found something that my body is actually good at. Maybe I should be a surrogate. I’ve thought about it in the past, especially for gay men who don’t have a lot of other options. They can’t have my eggs, but maybe I could carry the baby. Then again, the food restrictions and physical changes from this pregnancy have been making me loony and I love and get to keep this kid. It might not be quite worth it for a child that’s not my own. Perhaps I’m not selfless enough. Fault me if you will…


  • By Anonymous, July 12, 2005 @ 8:44 pm

    How’d it go this time?


  • By Kirsten, July 13, 2005 @ 11:36 am

    mmmmm, massage sounds GREAT! Good idea…..

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