Jul 06 2005

We had our first of four “Childbearing Essentials” classes last night. The class is fine- nuthin’ special- but the other parents are HORRIBLE! There were 5 other couples besides us and four were the most boring, lack-luster couples EVER. The fifth couple got there late, talked loudly to each other and broke in with totally inappropriate comments constantly. I wanted to smash the father’s face into the table top. I hope these people get a little more lively next time. John and I were the only ones who would answer questions or who paid attention to instructions. We were separated at one point into two groups- men and women. THe men had to put together a felt pregnant woman. The women had to match different items to cards that had typical male concerns on them. These women couldn’t figure out what to do! Kindergarteners could have figured it out faster than these idiots. They also refused to touch the (still wrapped) condoms in the bag. What’s the big deal? Have you really never seen a condom before? Now they think I’m weird because I didn’t care. Like we’re supposed to pretend that we’ve never had sex before. We’re all PREGNANT for fuck’s sake! Sometimes I wonder if I’m so different because I’m from California or if people are this dumb everywhere and I just never noticed before. Where are all the cool mommies? Aren’t there any in Pittsburgh?
We ended the night with some relaxation techniques. John sat against the wall and I sat between his legs leaning against him. It was really comfy. We did deep breathing together and I was relaxed by just being near him. I think he will be really helpful when I’m in labor. I don’t know how I’d do it without him. It was so relaxing that I actually went home a lot less annoyed by the other couples! Amazing! I love him.
By the way, he’s the best and you should check out his site. He’s johnnylogic over on the left (remember, I can’t link on this stupid mac). I’m just glad that nobody else knows how awesome he is or they might try to steal him from me and I would have to kill somebody.


  • By nrp, July 7, 2005 @ 5:53 pm

    We had lamos in our class too, even though we’re in CA. This included the couple who broke up right after the first class, were back together the next week, then broke up again the week after that. Arcata being the small town it is, I still run into these people at the park etc and they are still lame.
    Of course, they probably still think John and I are know-it-all teacher’s pets but with bratty smarty-pants kids now.

  • By nrp, July 7, 2005 @ 5:55 pm

    Hey, is there a Rachel in your class? I know Pittsburgh’s a big place just crawling with pregnant women, but a pregnant Rachel in Pittsburgh was on my online clubfoot support group and I wondered if by amazing coincidence… If she’s there, tell her her kid is going to be fine.

  • By heels, July 8, 2005 @ 6:21 am

    I don’t remember a Rachel… She knows her kid has club feet before birth? Or is this a kid that she already has? If so, my class is only for first time parents so she wouldn’t be in it. It’s also only for parents wanting to give birth at the Midwife Center.

  • By nrp, July 8, 2005 @ 9:37 pm

    Clubfoot can be diagnosed in-utero as early as 15 weeks or so. They don’t always catch it and it’s not one of the things they routinely look for.

  • By SlackBastard, July 9, 2005 @ 11:01 pm

    Well I know how awesome he is but it’s that whole damn heterosexuality thing I have going on. Trips me up every time.

  • By heels, July 11, 2005 @ 10:21 am

    Slack- just as long as you appreciate his awesomeness. I appreciate your hetero-ness if only for the fact that it means less competition for John. It will also, most likely, help to keep you from being beat to a pulp in Texas. Those two things aside, why be so picky? There are some really nice things about men…

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