Jun 22 2005

Yesterday was one of the worst days so far here at work. Unfortunately, I can’t go into detail but let’s just say that I still have questions about my future here. I came close to quitting just so that I wouldn’t have to come in this morning, but I don’t want to do that and I can’t afford to do that. In general, I like my job and the people I work with. I could use a bit more mental stimulation on a regular basis, but I usually don’t have much to complain about otherwise. Yesterday, though, as I drove away from work to pick up John I had tears streaming down my face. I didn’t really get a hold on myself until after I got home and had a short nap. The day just plain old sucked.

However, I can’t dwell on it any longer or allow it to color my day today (though it is trying REALLY hard). We did get, by way of some new parents in John’s department, some nice hand-me-down baby stuff. The thing that will come in the handiest and save us the most money is an electric milker…I mean breast-pump. It’s just on loan, but it’s still going to save our asses when I have to come back to work, and for that I am supremely grateful. They also gave us a boppy, a couple of toys (one on loan) and a few really precious pieces of clothing. The extra nice part is that I don’t have to feel awkward about the clothes because they are all actually things I would have picked- no worrying that they’ll be offended if I don’t use them. Oh yeah, and some recieving blankets and a couple of tiny diapers (so cute when they’re clean!). I tell ya, this hand-me-down thing is the way to go!

My other stressor yesterday was that I didn’t feel Cole move as much as I am used to. I was poking my belly all day to try to get him to give me a couple good kicks, but there just wasn’t much. Last night I realized it was just because he was saving his energy for an all-night boogie-a-thon. He’s a lot more active today too, so no need to worry. It probably all seemed worse yesterday because it felt like I just wasn’t catching a break on the bad stuff happening. Most days are smooth sailing, but when the storm hits- watch the fuck out.

There are only a couple weeks left until my mom comes with my “new” car. That’s enough of a relief to make me want to cry all on it’s own! My car is sliding downhill into the junk-heap and gaining momentum every time I have to drive it. It’s just not safe any more. It will be really nice to see my mom, too. I haven’t seen her since last Thanksgiving. It’s been really hard for me to be pregnant for the first time in a town where I basically only know my husband and with my family 2500 miles away. Seeing her, even if just for the weekend, will be rejuvinating. It’ll be fun to see her reaction to my big belly! They haven’t seen pictures at all. Seeing her for a short time will help me get through until August, when I’ll get to see my whole family. I can’t wait. After August, she’ll be back in October to help me out with Cole. I told her that she should just save on air fare and stay from July to next Thanksgiving. She didn’t find that as appealing as I did. My dad would probably object, too.

2 Comments

  • By ticknart, June 22, 2005 @ 3:17 pm

    Poo on what your parents thing. You’re the one who’s pregnant. Shouldn’t you get anything you want?

  • By ticknart, June 22, 2005 @ 3:18 pm

    Poo on what your parents think. You’re the one who’s pregnant. Shouldn’t you get anything you want?

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