Mar 03 2010

Ant Rant

I’m going to come right out and say it: I HATE ANTS.

I don’t want to hear about how amazing they are; how incredible their communities can be; how fascinating their food finding skills are. I don’t want to hear about how your best-friend’s cousin is married to an ant and that some of them are quite lovely when you get to know them or how an ant saved your grandfather’s life one night.

I hate them. This will always be true. I think I may even have a bit of PTSD about them. When I see them in my house, I panic. I can’t rest until they are gone. Even when they are gone, I imagine them everywhere. I can’t lean against the counters in my house anymore. They are out to get me, BUT NOT IF I GET THEM FIRST. I kill on sight. I used to feel bad about it, but not any more.

I hate ants, and I won’t apologize.

3 Comments

  • By Elizabeth, March 3, 2010 @ 8:35 pm

    My dad always says the only thing god did wrong was creating ants!

  • By ticknart, March 3, 2010 @ 9:16 pm

    An appropriate comic.

    Also, god screwed the pooch when he made mosquitoes and fleas.

  • By admin, March 3, 2010 @ 9:32 pm

    Fire moat! Yes! Brilliant. I begin construction tomorrow at daylight. Must dig while the ground is still soft from rain.

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