Where have I been? Well, I’ve been unsuccessfully dealing with mostly losing my job, that’s where.
I thought I was dealing with it well, but not so much, as it turns out. I’m sad, I’m bitter, I’m angry. It’s strange- just a short while ago I was trying to figure out how I could quit and stay with the kids. We decided that we couldn’t really afford it, but I wished it could happen. But it’s different when the loss of a job is not by choice.
Technically, I was not fired. I was placed on “on-call” status, but it still amounts to no paycheck, so it still feels a lot like being fired. The company is having a bit of trouble, and they reacted, as they always do, by firing everyone who was deemed “non-essential.” How they could view their marketing department as non-essential baffles me, but taking the long-view is not really this company’s strength, either.
So now I’m looking around. Though they say that they would like to get me working again as soon as possible, I’m tired of working for a company who clearly has such a poor appreciation for marketing and a company who is so willing to fuck around with my life. We live paycheck to paycheck in the best months. We have no savings cushion. While that’s not this company’s fault, exactly, I also can’t live with this kind of uncertainty. I have kids to feed and a mortgage to pay.