HEELS

Today is our 4th wedding anniversary. I can honestly say that I like and love John more today than the day I married him. And that's not just the pregnancy hormones talking...

Tonight we are going out to a really nice restaurant. We haven't been there before, but the reviews and the sample menu sound fantastic. It's called Eleven and it's supposed to be "contemporary american" cuisine, whatever that means. I think it just sounds yummy. I'll give my review tomorrow.

I can't stop thinking about a comment that the midwife made the other day. She looked at me when I stood up and announced that she loves tall pregnant girls (I'm 5'10"). She said that we're good pushers (in childbirth). What exactly does it mean to be a good pusher? We can push really hard? We are skilled at pushing? We can push really interestingly? I'm not entirely sure what to make of this. I feel like I have something I have to live up to now but I don't even know what it is! Can anyone clue me in?

I have my six month review tomorrow. I'm not too concerned but, somehow, not being concerned makes me think I should be. Like everything is going too well. My boss was really nice when he mentioned it to me today though. I don't know why he'd be upset with me. Almost everyone else around here has told me that they really like me and that I fit in really well. That makes me feel really good because I like most of the people here too. I feel like I fit in pretty well, but having people like me and fitting in doesn't mean that my boss is happy with my job performance. We'll see. I know at least that I won't be getting a raise. No body here gets raises except for upper managment. There is a woman who does a very important job here who hasn't gotten a raise in 10 years. Nobody really complains because otherwise they're really pretty good to us. It does kind of suck for those people who have high stress jobs and have been here a while, but I don't really care for myself at this point. I would keep this job just for the free health insurance (good insurance- for me AND my family, for free)!

Just 14 more days until I have my car!! WOOHOO!!!!!!

I feel so abandoned! All my lovely commentors have dissappeared. Did I do something to drive you all away? Was it the shoes? You hate the shoes, don't you?

Anyway, yet again my wonderful husband gave me a great massage last night. He's really getting talented! I've paid for worse massages. Plus, this was on the eve of his birthday. (Happy 26th, Baby!) What a wonderful man...

Tomorrow is our 4th wedding anniversary. I really can't believe that it's been 4 years. I keep thinking it just happened the summer before last or something. It was a really fun wedding for us and, I hope, for our guests. I've been thinking about it a lot lately because my friend is getting married in october. I've been trying to think of good advice to give her which has led me to reminiscing. I've realized that I really do only remember the good parts unless I try hard to remember the bad (the shitty bartender and equally shitty DJ, for example). The bad things don't piss me off anymore even when I do think about them. It was just so great to have our family and friends together- literally a once in a lifetime event. I can't think of anything that would bring that same collection of people together in the same place again.

I had a midwife appointment yesterday. Everything is right on track. The one bummer is that the midwife was the only one I hadn't met before and I think she's my least favorite. I would take any of the others over her. I'm sure that everything would work out fine even if we did get her for the delivery (knowing my luck we will!), I mean, she certainly knows her stuff. I just feel a lot more comfortable around the others. She's a little too woo-woo hippie even for me! Plus, I'm an atheist and she majored in religion for her undergrad... it would be an interesting mix. I'd probably rip her throat out if she tried to start a prayer in the middle of labor! Not a pretty picture. That said, she knows I'm an atheist and, I'm sure, would be a professional about eveything. One would hope.

Even MORE pictures to slow down loading time!
These were taken at 22 weeks (I'm now at 23). Thing is, I'm on the low side of normal for weight gain. You wouldn't know by looking at this belly though!

Why, John Fluevog, WHY?! Why do you have to make shoes I can't resist? Why can't you make me hate you? The only thing I hate about you is that I CAN'T AFFORD YOU!!!!!!!! WAHHHHH!!!!!!!

I think everyone should know- I have a truly marvelous husband. Not only does he put up with my shit DAILY, but he, very willingly I might add, gave me a fantastic massage last night. With fancy massage oil and everything. He even agreed to watch the pregnancy massage portion of my yoga dvd before he started so that he would know the areas he shouldn't touch. He's so thoughtful. Yes, I did give him a shoulder/back massage quickly first, but it was very quick and I got a foot, leg and back massage in return- a good investment, I'd say. Also a very relaxing way to end a nice weekend. He basically put me to sleep. I just had to scooch over to my side of the bed with my boyfriend/body pillow and go to sleep. Ahhh...

Cole has been keeping us enthralled by his alien-like punches and kicks to the belly. It's so fun to think about how big he must be getting by now. This week he's probably about 12 inches long from head to heel and he probably weighs about a pound. I'm sure it must be getting a little cramped in there. You'd think that babies would be happy to come out after so long being stuck in one position, but most of them seem to be pretty unhappy about the change and you have to swaddle them to try to recreate the environment. Weird little creatures.

We only have a couple more weeks to wait for the car! It seems like I've been waiting for this car forever some days and other days that the time has just screamed by. What happened to June, anyway? Before this week is over it'll be July! I'm not complaining, in fact, I 'm happy to have the time pass so painlessly, I'm just wondering how I spent it. I must have been in a work induced coma for a couple weeks. Soon it will be August and I'll get to leave this place for a week and then it will be October and we'll have our baby boy! I'm not going to acknowledge September this year. I think it was just put there to annoy me.

I've been giving some thought to what I will do (besides reaching up and yanking this kid out by myself) if I'm still pregnant for Halloween. I've had the same suggestion from several people so far about what I should dress up as. Funnily enough, most of the people doing the suggesting have been Catholic. They've all said I should be a pregnant nun. I'm not so sure. I guess I should also think about what to dress Cole as if he has come out by that time (like a good boy). Maybe a caterpillar or a pea-pod. Any suggestions? Even if we don't go anywhere we'll have to dress up just for pictures. Jeez, maybe he'll be born ON Halloween and I won't have to do anything! That would suck. That would mean that every Halloween, instead of getting a babysitter and going out, I'll have to stay home for my kid's damn birthday. Let him have any other day! (I'm really just joking-Halloween's WAY more fun when you do trick-or-treating with kids. They do all the work for the candy and then you take it away and eat it all yourself because it's not good for their teeth. Really, I'm not mean and selfish, I'm just health conscious.) But really, I'd love to hear the costume suggestions that everybody comes up with.

My good pal Otis (Green Apron Monkey over there to the left) has tagged me to answer a meme-thingy about 6 albums and six songs that mean something to me. Bitch. Really, I've never been good about knowing specific songs or remembering the names/artists of ones I like and I REALLY don't know albums. So I am going to answer the song part as much as I can and forget the album part even exists (unless I think of something). Here we go. I'm sure that as soon as I post this I will remember all the songs I REALLY should have put down and might have to do this all over again...

In no particular order:

1) Red Dress- Maia Sharp
This is a song that I came across just recently via the awesome local public radio station (one of the few things I like and would miss about Pittsburgh). It is a song about being anti-conformist without any of the teenage-angsty bad poetry that usually comes with that subject. The lyrics are good, the tune is good, her voice is good- what more can you ask for? You won't take away my red dress. (Nor my red shoes, for that matter.)

2) I'm Not a Virgin Anymore- Poe
Not a new song, but a good older one. I don't like this song because I can identify with it (I'm not really a bitter ho), but because it's fun to sing along to something that is so unlike yourself. And it's just a fun song to sing along to, Period. Not many songs by girls are nasty, either, especially non-rap songs. Good bitchy fun.

3) The next would be a classical song- I think by Bach. Honestly, I love this song but I never bother remembering what it is. I'll find it and get back to you and tell you why it's meaningful then.

4) Landslide- Any version
It just makes me think about my Mom and Sister. We were going to sing it at Strawberry. Maybe next year. Sometimes when I'm feeling all pregnant and hormonal it makes me cry- I'm not really sure why...

5) Art Star- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
This song just makes me crack up. Every. TIme. It's so true... (Say it in your best Kids in the Hall voice.)

6) Nina Simone. I just can't choose a song. No one does pure, gut-wrenching emotion like Nina. Billie Holliday only wishes she could have the talent that Nina does in her little fingernail. No contest. Plus, you gotta love a lady who got so disgusted with America that she moved to France. She's my idol.

WHEW. That's hard. I'm sure I made some glaring ommissions (they're just not glaring yet- I'll wait til I see the whites in their eyes).

A couple albums I thought of:

1) The White Album- The Beatles (duh!)
This was the first CD my family owned. We bought it before we even owned a CD player. My sister and I wanted to hear it so badly that we made a tape (of what, I don't remember) to play for my parents. We had just heard about subliminal messages and thought we would try it out. When we played the tape for my parents, every so often the music would stop and you could hear us chanting "get a CD player, get a CD player" over and over. Then the music would fade back in. We hadn't realized that our tape recorder would cut out the music when we recorded our voices. My parents thought it was so funny that they did, eventually, buy a CD player- a much bigger investment then than now! When we finally got to hear the album, all the wait was worth it. We played the crap out of it. Still, when I hear a song from that album (or almost any Beatles, really) it's almost as if I was born knowing it. They were some of the first songs I learned to play on my guitar, too. I think I'll have to buy it for Cole- it's something no one should grow up without.

2) Metallica- Metallica (the black album)
Maybe not great, but what got me into metal and metal's just fun. (Too bad Metallica went down the shitter though)

3) Beastie Boys- Ill Communication
Again, maybe not great but what got me into rap (if you can call it that). Still one I love for long car trips.

4) Ry Cooder- I forget the album. ACK!
I still have memories of being 2 years old and dancing with my daddy to this album in our house in Tennessee. Those were the good days before my sister came (just joking- mostly!) I loved having him spin me around. My dad is still one of the most fun guys to dance with. One of the biggest reasons I wished I was having a daughter was so that she could have memories like this with her daddy and grandad, but maybe they'll dance with Cole and his memories will be just as good.

I guess my album list isn't so much about favorites as it is about influences. I could probably do this everyday and come up with something different each time. ALready I'm thinking of things that maybe should have been on it. I'll obsess over this for weeks now- thanks a lot Otis! Let me know how I can return the favor!!

Big belly happenins last night! I'm so excited. I was lying on the futon waiting for John to be finished with the computer (so I could talk to him, not use it myself) when I realized that my belly was wiggling. I propped myself up and looked closer and was finally able to see Cole's kicks! He was really active and I told John to come over quick to see. He was distracted by the fucking computer (like ALWAYS) and wouldn't come over for a few minutes. Of course, by then Cole decided to take a break. I was pissed that whatever was on the computer was more important (even though it wasn't likely to GO AWAY or anything) than seeing his son move. This is not a new issue with us. He waited for a little while watching my belly but it didn't really happen again as strongly. He missed out and it really sucked. Later that night while we were reading in bed Cole started jumping around again. I pulled the covers off and yelled at John to look. Cole cooperated by continuing to give my insides a pummeling so his daddy could see him- and see him well! John got really excited too and couldn't help putting a hand on my belly to feel the enormous jumps. It was amazing. Cole made it hard to fall asleep with all the dancing he was doing in there. I woke up at about 4:30 to find him balled up in the top right section of my uterus. Before this morning, he had been a lot more spread out, or at least I couldn't feel him in any distinct spot like that. It was really neat to be able to put my hand on his little body and feel like I was cupping his tiny bum in my palm. Maybe I wasn't, but that's what it felt like. It was very sweet. I feel like he's leaping over all sorts of developmental hurdles all of a sudden. My baby is growing up so fast already!

We have a midwife appointment next tuesday. I really enjoy going to my appointments. Being in the midwife center and around the midwives makes me feel really calm and comfortable- which is good since that's where I plan to give birth! They are really amazing women and, though I don't get to choose which of the five will actually attend the birth, I have no worries that they will take really good care of us.

I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I am in my sixth month of pregnancy. For some reason, I kept thinking that I was still only in my fifth month. This weekend I will be at 23 weeks. Only a week more and I will be a full six months pregnant and off into my seventh month. SEVEN! I felt like it would NEVER get here! Next week I will have only 17 weeks left... crazy. It seems like only yesterday that I was walking around with my tummy pooched out so that EVERYBODY would know I was pregnant. No need anymore! Those 17 weeks are going to go fast too, what with my mom coming and our vacation in august. That's alright. We don't really have much to get ready. We aren't doing a baby's room since he will be sleeping in ours; we have a few more things to buy- like a crib and diapers- but there's no rush, we know where to get both quickly; we've got the childbirth classes lined up for July- one per week for the whole month, no biggie; if he didn't get any more clothes between now and birth he would still be a well dressed young man (I'd just have a lot of laundry to do!). Yeah, there's stuff I'd like to take care of but if most of it doesn't get done it won't be the end of the world. I'm trying my best to just be realxed about all this, since I have a history of psyching myself out. So far I'm doing pretty well. There have been no hysterical hypochondriac calls to the midwife (actually, no calls at all!) and by that I am amazed!

Sometimes the people you work with can make your job nicer. I have a reason for this, but I just can't go into it. I don't mean to be cryptic.

Mr. Baby Cole has been a wiggle butt the last couple days. It's fun to try to guess what he's doing in there like "was that his arm?" or "was that his butt or his head?". There's not much discernable movement from the outside yet, so it's still my private little game. Sometimes it helps the time go by.

I don't really feel fat, I just feel HEAVY. The muscles in my belly hardly feel adequate sometimes and the muscles around my knees have stopped really doing their job. It's much harder to get out of chairs or bed. I tried to do my Yoga DVD the other day and it just felt like my belly was dragging me down. I have some concerns that, if my labor goes for a long time, I may not have the strength to last and will need an epidural. I loathe the whole idea of epidurals. I understand why most women get them, but I will do almost ANYTHING to avoid one. I have surprised myself in the past with the reserves of strength and will that have have buried inside. If anything could bring them out, I think this could.

I talked with my mom today about her deliveries. She didn't have an epidural with me or my sister and she says that her labor with each of us was only about 8 or 9 hours long. I hope some of that is hereditary! I'm not really all that scared about delivery. I think fear is a big problem for a lot of women and why they feel more pain and are more likely to resort to drugs. I'm excited more than anything. Birth can usually take care of itself. It's not a medical condition, it's a natural process. (Yeah, I know, so is death but... you know what I mean.) I know that problems can come up that need special attention, but why go into it thinking that that will happen. Why not go into it thinking that it will be the most amazing and exciting experience of your life? No, it won't turn a breech baby but it might help relieve some "pain".

Belly button status: still an innie, but stretched WAY out of shape!

Yesterday was one of the worst days so far here at work. Unfortunately, I can't go into detail but let's just say that I still have questions about my future here. I came close to quitting just so that I wouldn't have to come in this morning, but I don't want to do that and I can't afford to do that. In general, I like my job and the people I work with. I could use a bit more mental stimulation on a regular basis, but I usually don't have much to complain about otherwise. Yesterday, though, as I drove away from work to pick up John I had tears streaming down my face. I didn't really get a hold on myself until after I got home and had a short nap. The day just plain old sucked.

However, I can't dwell on it any longer or allow it to color my day today (though it is trying REALLY hard). We did get, by way of some new parents in John's department, some nice hand-me-down baby stuff. The thing that will come in the handiest and save us the most money is an electric milker...I mean breast-pump. It's just on loan, but it's still going to save our asses when I have to come back to work, and for that I am supremely grateful. They also gave us a boppy, a couple of toys (one on loan) and a few really precious pieces of clothing. The extra nice part is that I don't have to feel awkward about the clothes because they are all actually things I would have picked- no worrying that they'll be offended if I don't use them. Oh yeah, and some recieving blankets and a couple of tiny diapers (so cute when they're clean!). I tell ya, this hand-me-down thing is the way to go!

My other stressor yesterday was that I didn't feel Cole move as much as I am used to. I was poking my belly all day to try to get him to give me a couple good kicks, but there just wasn't much. Last night I realized it was just because he was saving his energy for an all-night boogie-a-thon. He's a lot more active today too, so no need to worry. It probably all seemed worse yesterday because it felt like I just wasn't catching a break on the bad stuff happening. Most days are smooth sailing, but when the storm hits- watch the fuck out.

There are only a couple weeks left until my mom comes with my "new" car. That's enough of a relief to make me want to cry all on it's own! My car is sliding downhill into the junk-heap and gaining momentum every time I have to drive it. It's just not safe any more. It will be really nice to see my mom, too. I haven't seen her since last Thanksgiving. It's been really hard for me to be pregnant for the first time in a town where I basically only know my husband and with my family 2500 miles away. Seeing her, even if just for the weekend, will be rejuvinating. It'll be fun to see her reaction to my big belly! They haven't seen pictures at all. Seeing her for a short time will help me get through until August, when I'll get to see my whole family. I can't wait. After August, she'll be back in October to help me out with Cole. I told her that she should just save on air fare and stay from July to next Thanksgiving. She didn't find that as appealing as I did. My dad would probably object, too.

Hey Hannah! I was able to find you before but now can't. Email me! heels9@JUNKYSTUFFTOBLOCKhotmail.com.

Something that deserves a post all by itself.

Our friends Naomi, John, Hannah and Jonah sent us a wonderful baby package that we got this past weekend. Although it didn't contain much wanted pieces by renound artists Hannah (4) or Jonah (2) (Happy B-day Jonah!), it did have some of the most wonderful baby stuff I've seen. Of particular delight-inducing interest is a beautifully made kimono style shirt with little green piggies on a natural colored background. Precious!! Also, some great green and natural striped bottoms, a onesie that says "wiggle, giggle, coo" in front of a little dragonfly and a wonderfully soft, thick blankie. There were also two books by the Sears couple- "The Pregnancy Book' and "The Birthing Book". I've already read all the way through the birthing book! And for making me feel better- a MamaCare pack with belly salves and massage oils and bath stuff. They made the whole package smell good. (I feel like I'm forgetting something- likely, the way I've been going.) So a resounding THANK YOU to the lovely family. (By the way, I take out the little piggie shirt every day and smile at it! What a freak!!)

Though I feel hideously guilty about it, sometimes I feel like I don't really want to be a mother. Yeah, I know, I was trying to concieve and I had been talking about it forever before that, but now that I'm at that place where there's no going back I'm a little scared. This is a change unlike any other in life. Not only have you made a decision for yourself, but also for another new person. What other choice is like that? So final and not only effecting you? Even death, though it matches in finality, doesn't have a part similar to making the choice to bring a new life into the world. I will never not be a parent. My child is coming whether I like it or not and, even if I chose to put it up for adoption (something that will NEVER happen) that won't change the fact that I gave birth to it. It's somewhat panic inducing. I mean, can I change my order? I'd like a little monkey instead. That can't cost as much as a baby, but I won't ask for a refund or anything. Well?

But I love this boy. I love him already and I've only seen a few minutes of him wiggling around and looking very blue and alien. I don't really want to go back, it's just hard to not have the option. He will be with me all the time for the rest of my life, whether he is physically or not. How do parents cope with that?

It blows me away that so many people have children. They must just not think about it, but I don't see how you couldn't. I can't stop. I appreciate my friends who have thought about it enough to realize that they don't want children. I think we are the first in our close group to have a kid, which is surprising coming from our town. Most of the others I knew from high school had kids right away and probably have several by now. But this whole group has made it to ages 25-27 (approximately) with none. And they are wonderful people. They all just think a lot. The sad thing is, they are smart people who would, no doubt, have really cool kids.

John and I have decided on one, unless we strike it really rich! We ethically can't see having more than one in a lot of ways. We each, at one point, thought about having none, but I think that (despite the anxiety) we are both very excited now that it's happening. I don't think I'll ever need to do it again though.

At this point, I think I need to try to stop thinking about it. Is it really doing me any good? I'm just driving myself into a panic about something about which I can no longer do anything.

Deep breaths.

Here's what I got:



What Kind of Freaky Mother are you?
http://quizilla.com/users/grandvizier/quizzes/What%20kind%20of%20a%20freaky%20mother%20are%20you%3F/

Meet Cole Arthur Taylor



Yeah, no need to tell me. I know he's pretty. (No, really, TELL me!!)

That last one- that's his weinie. See the arrow? Now think:profile. That's my boy!

From Slack Bastard (sorry my dumbass MAC won't let me link unless I go through the friggin code. He's to the left.)

Smoked a cigarette? NO
Smoked a cigar? Yeuch, no.
Made out with a member of the same sex? No. Aren’t you all SO sad
Crashed a friend’s car? No
Stolen a car? No

Been in love? Yes. Since I started I haven’t stopped
Been dumped? Yes
Shoplifted? Yes, but it was an accident.
Been fired? Not officially, but yes
Been in a fist fight? Kind of

Snuck out of my parents house? No
Had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Not really
Been arrested? No
Made out with a stranger? Yes
Gone on a blind date? No

Lied to a friend? Yes
Had a crush on a teacher? No
Skipped school? Yes
Slept with a co-worker? No
Seen someone die? No (Dead? Yes)

Been to Canada? No
Been to Mexico? No
Been on a plane? Yes
Thrown up in a bar? No

Purposely set a part of myself on fire? Yes
Eaten sushi? Yes (Oh Yes Mmmmm)
Been snowboarding? No

Taken painkillers? Yes
Love someone or miss someone right now? Very much both
Laid on your back and watched the cloud shapes go by? Yes
Made a snow angel? Yes

Had a tea party? Hell Yeah
Flown a kite? Yes
Built a sand castle? Yes
Gone puddle jumping? Yes
Played dress up? All the time

Jumped into a pile of leaves? Yes
Gone sledding? Yes
Cheated while playing a game? Yes
Been lonely? Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes and recently

Used a fake ID? No
Watched the sun set? Yes
Felt an earthquake? Yes-woohoo!
Touched a snake? Yes

Been tickled? Yes
Been robbed? No
Robbed someone? No
Been misunderstood? I thought so
Pet a reindeer/goat? Yes/Yes

Won a contest? No
Run a red light? Yes, but I didn’t know I was- I didn’t even know there was a light.
Been suspended from school? No
Had a detention? No
Been in a car accident? Yes

Had braces? Yes
Felt like an outcast? I was in High School
Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night? Ben and Jerry used to be close friends of mine
Had deja-vu? Lots
Danced in the moonlight? Yes

Witnessed a crime? An awful one
Pole danced? No. Swung around one? Yes
Questioned your heart? Yes
Been obsessed with post-it notes? Ummm (yeah)

Squished barefoot through the mud? Yes
Been lost? Yes
Been to the opposite side of the country? Live there now
Swam in the ocean? Yes
Felt like dying? Close

Cried yourself to sleep? Yes
Played cops and robbers? Yes
Recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers? Yes
Sung karaoke? Yes
Paid for a meal with only coins? Yes

Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yes
Made prank phone calls? Yes
Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose? Yes. Soda. On all the Pizza. My Birthday
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes
Kissed in the rain? Yes

Written a letter to Santa Claus? Yes
Been kissed under mistletoe? Yes
Watched the sunset with someone you care about? Yes
Blown bubbles? Yes
Made a bonfire on the beach? No, but I was there

Crashed a party and took their tap? No
Gone roller-skating? Yes
Had a wish come true? Yes.
Humped a monkey? WTF! How did you know?!!

Worn pearls? Yes
Jumped off a bridge? No
Screamed penis in class? Yes
Eaten dog/cat food? Yes
Told a complete stranger you loved/hated them? Yes.

Sang in the shower? Yes every day
Have a little black dress? Yes
Fucked in the park? What counts as a park?
Had a dream that you married someone? Yes
Glued your hand to something? Yes
Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? No
Kissed a fish? No
Worn the opposite sexes clothes? All the time
Been a cheerleader? At home in my room by myself
Sat on a roof top? Yes

Had sex in church? In my head
Screamed at the top of your lungs? Yes
Done a one-handed cartwheel? No, dammit
Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours? Yes
Stayed up all night? Yes

Haven’t take a shower for a week? Yes, but only when I was MUCH younger
Pick and ate an apple right off the tree? Yes
Climbed a tree? Yes
Had a tree house? No, but my best friend did
Are scared to watch scary movies alone? Oh Yeah

Believe in ghosts? NO
Have more than 30 pairs of shoes? Ummm…In my closet or total?
Worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say? Yes
Gone streaking? No
Played ding-dong-ditch? If I knew what it was…
Played monster in the bucket? Is that the one with the penis in the popcorn bucket with the hole cut in it? Then no.

Played chicken fight? Yes, but not with cars
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Yes
Been told you’re hot by a complete stranger? No, but two have asked me to marry them (I refused)
Broken a bone? No
Been easily amused? That’s how I get through each day

Caught a fish and ate it? Yes
Made porn? Do you REALLY want to know?
Caught a butterfly? Yes
Laughed so hard you cried? Yes
Cried so hard you laughed? Yes

Mooned/flashed someone? Does my husband count?
Had someone moon/flash you? Yes (shudder)
Cheated on a test? Yes
Forgotten someone’s name? Yes

Slept naked? Yes always
French braided someone’s hair? Yes
Gone skinny dipping in a pool? Yes but nobody else was there

It's official- we are going to have a son!

His scan looked great with everything looking beautiful and in the right places. The little stinker was more shy about showing his butt (for a complete look at his spine) than his boy-parts! Pictures will have to wait until this evening when we can get them scanned but, take my word for it, he is gorgeous. My important mommy-parts were deemed beautiful, as well.

Well, obviously a long overdue site reconstruction occured last night. My lovely husband took the time to put up with my ridiculous requests and mind-changes and helped me update. It still needs some work, but that'll have to wait for when I have some time to spend with photoshop. I am also going to add a link to some pictures, but we have to get them all web ready and stuff. So what do you think of the new heels? Any feedback?

"Hey! Did you just grab my ass from across the room with your Force Grip?"

So, above is my Star Wars pick-up line. For those of you who know my history with my husband, you will find this as amusing as I do, I reckon. For those who don't I give you the "short" version:

When I was in high school, I was a part of an acting group called (oh so cleverly) Teen Theatre. We wrote and acted in skits about teen "issues" like drugs, alcohol, suicide etc... really cheery stuff. The basic message was: don't. Anyway, I was the VP of the club and so had to be present at all club meetings. One day, John decided to become a member of our techie crew (he says now that it was so he could meet chicks- I know for a fact that it was so he could hang around one particular chick, not me!). Even though we had gone to school together for all of high school (we were in the beginning of our senior year at this point) John and I had never met. Even though I was good friends with his sister.

Anyway, one evening we had a show that went spectacularly well and we were all really jazzed. We went to a local diner (the whole group) and sat at a huge table. I was at the head of the table and John was to my left with one person in between us. We started talking and, eventually, were talking only to each other and having a great time. I was sorry when it was time to leave. We all walked out to the parking lot and were having last chats when I got my brilliant idea.

Now, earlier in the week, I had found a huge list of really funny pick-up lines on the internet. I printed them out and we had great laughs about how ridiculous they were during our "rehearsals". These were still pretty fresh in my mind on the evening in question.

So, back to my brilliant idea. I was wound up. That's the only explanation I have for my bizarre behavior. I saw John across the parking lot talking to a couple of his guy friends. He had his back to me. I screwed up my courage to go say something to him before I left, but after I marched over the only thing I could think of was a pick up line. I grabbed his butt and said "Is this seat taken?" It didn't make quite the impact that I had intended since he jumped about two feet into the air and yelped like I had bitten him. I didn't quite know what to say after that and so I did the only thing I could think of: I ran. I jumped in my car with my sister and drove home as fast as I could.

A while after I got home, I got a call. John had gotten my number from a phone list he had from when he had tried to start up a debate club. My sister had wanted to join. He called to let me know that he thought it was funny that I had grabbed his butt and that it didn't put him off at all. We talked for a couple hours that night and pretty much every night after.

We had our wedding ceremony four years later in 2001, finally signed marriage papers last year (three years later) and our first baby is due exactly on the 8th anniversary of that fateful night when I grabbed his ass.

John, I love you so much and I intend to keep grabbing your ass whenever I feel like it until the day we die.

Last night John and I went to the Fabulous Pixies concert. Believe it or not, it was the very first real "rock" concert of my life. I truly didn't know what to expect. We were a little silly and went early not knowing what to expect of the crowd. We ate a nice dinner and then walked over just after the gates were opened at 7. The crowd was really small, actually, which wasn't a huge disappointment. Unfortunately, when the opening act finally started after 8 (and I was already hot and tired) they sucked butt. I think they were called the Dellarays, or something like that- anyway, really not good. The crowd sure didn't respond to them. The only thing I can say for them is that I've never seen a hard rock band with a black, soul-singing, female lead before and the bass player was really amusing to watch. It was a new experience.

When the Pixies finally came on stage at about 9:30, they started out kinda rusty-sounding and slow. I was thinking "oh shit, I just paid WHAT to STAND here in the heat and humidity and listen to WHAT?!" But, they warmed up pretty fast and they sounded amazing after the first couple songs. I mean, REALLY good. THe crowd was not big, but obviously full of fairly devoted fans and, though they certainly showed their enthusiasm, weren't overly crazy. It was way too loud, but I kept my little purse and my sweatshirt balled up in front of my belly and we moved farther back a couple of times. Nobody minds when you want to get FARTHER from the band! John quite gallantly moved me safely away from the only jackass in the crowd who was deciding to try to start a mosh pit in the back (retard). John put himself between me and the jackass and started muttering about thinly disguised homoeroticism and that obviously the jackass just wanted an excuse to touch his friend. I was laughing my ass off, but trying to not let it show so we wouldn't get hassled.

The band all looked old. I know they're not THAT old, but they really looked it. But they sounded the same, and that's what counts! Have you ever seen the movie "The Name of the Rose" with Sean Connery and Christian Slater? Do you remember the very fat, very white, gay, bald priest who was into self-flagellation? That's what Frank Black looks like now. I mentioned the STRIKING resemblance to John and he couldn't get it out of his head all night. Too funny!!

We had a good time, but I honestly don't see the appeal in going to concerts all the time. Too much noise, too much smoke, too many stupid people. Maybe it would be more fun with a group or maybe I'm just too old and pregnant. (Young Punks! Get off the grass!...whoa... hope I'm not at the cane-shaking level yet.) It's just, $90 to be uncomfortable for 4 hours? Not really for me, I think. The music was really good, though. Mommy like, Daddy like and Piglet like. He was dancing with me the whole time! And John got to finally really feel him, he was kicking so hard. I choose to believe it was because he liked the music, not because he was in there screaming "Mom, you bitch, you're hurting my ears with this stupid music! Get me the hell outta here!" No, my kid is cool. He liked it. I'm sure that he will be a one baby wave of mutilation and grow up to be, be a debaser (..debaser..). (Sorry, I just couldn't help it.)

Surprisingly, I wasn't the only obviously pregnant woman there. I thought I was going to be, but then a VERY pregnant woman came in leading her blind husband. What a pair! I hope they had fun- it looked like she could hardly walk!

Oh, one more note: Pregnant me+out past bedtime+coming from loud smoky concert=CAN"T DRIVE. We'll leave it right there.

I just realized that I completely forgot to post the menu for last weekend's dinner party:

Aged Cheddar and Smoked Gouda with Crackers
Bagel Snacks with Cream Cheese, Smoked Pepper Salmon, Capers and Dill
Cherry Tomatoes
Crab Cakes with Lemon-Dill Sauce
Sweet Red Pepper Bisque
Tortellini Salad with Carrots, Red Bell Peppers and Scallions in a Fresh Tomato-Basil Dressing
Green Salad with Tomatoes and a Balsamic-Basil Vinaigrette
Strawberry-Rhubarb Pie and Vanilla Bean Ice Cream

Almost all home-made. Yum. The leftovers are good, too.

For any of you who may be interested, I believe I have about 2-3 more weeks with an innie belly button. Bets on when it will pop are now being taken.

I'll see if I can think of a prize for the winner.

Shit, is it hot. We're having a wave of thunderstorms today, but it's not really taking the edge off of the humidity. Yesterday was really bad. Not only am I more hot than ever in my life because of this pregnancy, but it was also about 90 degrees and I think 1000% humidity AND I was in the kitchen cooking with the stove and the oven ALL DAY. The dinner came out pretty well- not hitchless, but good enough. Everyone was really nice and complimentary about the food. but DAMN. My feet, knees and back hurt like HELL last night, and they're not much better today.

I did get to have leftovers for lunch today. Unfortunately, I had to eat it here at work because I had a disaster waiting for me at home where I usually eat. John had forgotten to take the garbage out this morning before he left for work and Yoko decided to drag it across the floor of two rooms. So, okay, I was upset but not livid. Then I realized that something in the garbage must have disagreed with her because she had left two piles of poo on the carpet. Now imagine me: pregnant, starving, seriously low blood sugar, on my knees cleaning up garbage and dog crap with tears streaming down my face because all I wanted to do was come home, put my feet up and have some lunch. Not a pretty sight. I think I deserve to be taken out or at least given lots of pizza tonight.

Little piglet is wiggling more than ever now. He's giving me some good kicks that I can really feel outside, too. I love being able to feel him move. It makes me worry less about how he might be doing in there. I've gotten a good bit bigger in the past week. I really need to post a couple of belly shots so that y'all can see. I think it's really cool, but I don't expect you to. It's okay- it's my baby, not yours.

Oh, and Happy 20 weeks to me, Happy 20 weeks to me... for those of you uninitiated in baby-week timing that means.........

HALF WAY!!!!!!

WooHoo!

Now we have the hard part...

It seems I am Padme Amidala.

Who are you?

http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=34136

(I think being able to answer "agree" to the question "Are you pregnant?" pushed it over...)

About a week ago...

Me: I'm so stupid!
John: You're not stupid. You're no stupider than I am.
Me: You aren't even close to stupid. The only way you would have a little bit of stupid in you is if I stuck my thumb up your butt.
John: ......If only other people knew the things you say. I'm warning you- one of these times I'm going to blog what you say.
Me: I dare you.

His blog is broken.

New vacuum Monday night, new microwave last night. What's next?

Our old microwave bit the dust last night after John valiantly tried to clean it. It seems that the inside top had rusted through or something and the arc of blue light that lit up the room as John tried to microwave a cup of water left a huge scorch mark that really put the finishing touches on the inside. It seemed like a little bit of a hazard and a replacement was deemed necessary. John got to pick the new one out.

So, two unexpected purchases in as many days. Like I said, what's next?

The house, though, does look really yummy. It smells really good, too. We aired it out while the weather was nice yesterday and the winter funk has left the building. I hate that musty, can't-open-the-windows-or-will-freeze-to-death smell. Having the carpet actually be clean probably does wonders, as well.

And my room is clean! I have never, NEVER been good at keeping my room clean, but I feel that I should start trying to develop good habits. Not only will it help with the whole not tripping while getting up in the middle of the night to pee thing, and the finding clothes to wear in the morning whle husband still tries to sleep in the dark room thing, but also will give me the chance to be a good role model for my child as he gets older. I can't very well expect Piglet to clean up his room if I won't clean mine, can I? Well, maybe I could, but it wouldn't really be fair. I'm an adult. I should be able to put my clothes away and do laundry regularly ( I just hate to!).

My parents never really instilled good cleaning habits in me. My mother did everything around the house and I would only clean my room when threatened. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair of my Dad to not help out even though he was the only one with an outside job. It wasn't fair of my Mom to let him get away with it. It wasn't fair of both of them to let me and my sister laze around and only help out when we felt like it. It wasn't fair of them to ask us to when we were in late elementary school when they never had before. It wasn't fair of my Dad to expect that, just because we were girls, there were certain chores that we should and shouldn't do. I'm all about fairness. John and I try to share the chores (I'm working on getting better at mine) and our child will grow up knowing what's expected of him. I think it's good for kids to have chores starting from early on. I wish my parents had done it. I think it also gives structure and boundaries, which I think all kids need and secretly want. I'm not a hard ass, but I will expect certain things. I hope to give my child better habits than I have. Don't we always want our children to be better people than we are?

Anyway, the house is clean now and I'm hoping that, with a little effort everyday, we can maintain it. I'm sure it'll get bad again, but hopefully it will take longer each time. It's not like it's really ever that bad, anyway- just not perfect. We do live in it, after all (without a maid service!).