HEELS

Here's my pretty boy. Isn't he pretty? So pretty. Pretty. Yes. Ahhhh.



But sometimes he transforms into Minielvis.

Minielvis think Elmo FUH-NEE!

Minielvis also MUST have his Aquaphor while eating bananas in front of Elmo. In his jammies. But they're totally wicked awesome snowboarding bear jammies. And they're really soft. And COOL. Don't forget cool. But mostly- soft.



And then we wash the Minielvis right off of him and he becomes my pretty again. Look- how graceful! His lower abs are properly tucked, his arm is poised, and his toes are pointed. And despite his unarguable nudity, his modesty is still well protected. Full Points!



So yeah- he's pretty, he wears plastic wigs and laughs at Elmo, and he escapes from the tub now.

He's my big boy. And he's 16 months old.

Why can't I post pictures? WHY? I have the cutest pictures for you but Blogger won't let me post them. Why? I HAVE NO FREAKIN' CLUE! I am so irritated right now that I can hardly think. Why does this get to me so much?

I also can't show you pictures of the snow. We got a couple inches the other day and it made everything so pretty. We're supposed to get more tonight. I know that many of you get enough of snow in your daily lives, but we don't get it that often here. I thought I could never see snow again in my life after we left Pittsburgh and still be happy. Turns out that I like snow, but only when I don't have to deal with it every single stinking day. The shoveling, the cold, the scraping, the cold, the dangerous driving, and the cold. Here we get a couple inches, go to work late, and it's mostly melted off by midday. That rocks.

I'm also feeling antsy today because I haven't been to dance class. It was canceled last week because the instructor has pneumonia, I didn't go to the performance this weekend for lots of reasons, and classes are canceled again today. I need to dance! I need the stress release, the community, the exercise, the ME time...

Work has also been crazy- lots of different tasks, lots of new tasks, lots of time-consuming tasks and not much time to do them. Bother.

So I'm scattered, tense, irritable, and tired. And we have to sign a request for repairs today and ask that the sellers credit us for a new roof because the roof on the house is failing. Really, this is just what I needed.

But if anybody had an idea for how to make Blogger post my pictures? It would really make my day.

As I said yesterday, I have done the weird things meme before. It was hard. Not because I'm not weird, but just because I can never think of things when I really need to think of them. Except yesterday. Yesterday I came up with the word "apprentice" when someone else needed it and couldn't think of it. Go me.

So anyway, I'm doing this again and feeling whiny about it again because it's haaa-ard!

Voila.

1. I have an obsession with numbers. I like 7 and 9 quite a lot. I love prime numbers. I like symmetrical numbers. One reason I liked one of the houses we looked at was because its number was 181. Very symmetrical. Numbers have "feelings," meaning that I get certain feelings from numbers. I read far too much into numbers. I love that my parent's home number and my work number are almost exactly the same. I like numbers that end in 5 or in 0. I love Cole's birthdate- it's a "good" number. 10/25/05. I was really upset about our new house number at first (11290), but then I realized that it is two prime numbers and a zero and, therefore, good. I imbue quite a lot of significance into numbers. Deep down I know it doesn't mean anything, but even deeper down I sometimes think maybe it might.

2. I can make myself believe almost anything. At one point when I was a kid, I made up a clan of microscopic "indians" who were my friends. I knew I had made them up, but in the end I really believed that they existed. I'm also VERY good at making myself believe that I'm not hungry or thirsty. This lead directly to my becoming an anorexic for roughly 10 years and is the cause of my dehydration today. I can also use it to not have to pee for a VERY long time, though that may have to do with the dehydration also. Hmmm... I also made myself truly believe that I was allergic to alcohol (I'm not entirely sure why- maybe to have an excuse when confronted with peer-pressure?) and that's the reason I couldn't drink. I grew out of it promptly at age 21. Funny, that.

3. I tend to have trouble with doing things that I am asked to do, even if it's something that I would have offered to do and done happily. For instance, John will occasionally ask that I rub his back. Even if I would have offered to rub it a second later, the fact that he asks makes me not want to do it. I (irrationally, I grant you) start to feel like he's telling me what to do. I'm sure it has something to do with my problems with authority. It's dumb.

4. I feel like I'm being watched and judged very harshly ALL OF THE TIME.

5. Sometimes I will go into cleaning fits. I will suddenly at midnight decide that it's THE time to scrub the kitchen floor on my hands and knees. I get really pissed if I'm stopped.

6. When I really like a book, and especially if I identify with a character in it, I will act out portions under my breath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I may have done a few of these before. Maybe that's another weird thing: Does blog memes multiple times and unintentionally and unknowingly gives the exact same answers every time! At any rate, it's done. Do you all feel so much closer to me now? Don't you adore my neuroses? Aren't they precious?

Which reminds me- I saw "Running With Scizzors" not too long ago. It was okay if you are into rampant precious neuroses, which I'm not unless they are my own. And not like Wes Anderson preciousness- no it was much much worse. Scatological humour, but trying to be somehow "highbrow" about it; underage gay sex (not against the gay, just the underage); hil-AR-ious psychosis; adorable drug addiction... I dunno- these things a truly great movie just don't make. There were a couple of funny lines and some pretty scenes, but I give it an overall "Meh." Just how I felt about the book.

Ok, so y'know what's awesome? When your home inspector likes your house so much that he tells you that if you don't buy it, he will.

That's when I started feeling better about the house.

I hadn't really had significant doubt about the house- it was all normal buyer's apprehension, I'm sure- until we neared the inspection. Then I started freaking out about what he might find. Was the ceiling squirming with bugs? Was the heater about to bite it? Was there a ginormous structural crack running through everything? Was it going to fall down around our ears at the first whisper of an earthquake?

Turns out that it's one of the better houses in the area in its price range.

I knew that.

The only real exceptions are some drainage issues that I'm sure we can handle (nothing major) and the roof. The roof needs to be patched and then might give us another 5 years. That sucks, but we can worry about that later. It's still a good house.

So things are cooking along. Looks like, as long as everything keeps going the way it is, we may be able to close escrow early and have more than a weekend to move in. That would be nice!

Pizza for everyone who wants to help us move. Heck, I'll even throw in beer if that'll tip the scales. I know y'all want to take your California vacations in March, right? Bee-eer...!

I've also been tagged by the Princess to do the Weird Things meme. I've already done it, but because I'm too lazy to look back at my archives, I'll be working on that later.

One more thing- I have a question for you:
Spending an entire weekend hanging out at a Celtic/Ren Faire, having to act out scenes, and dancing occasionally- Super Cool or Supremely Dorky? Or Cool Dork Chic? Or something.

Oh, you guys- I've missed you! I really have!

Last week was insane already and then Cole came down with a fever on Thursday. He had to be with me at work for the rest of the day. Friday we had the home inspection and Cole still couldn't go to daycare, so I had about 2 days of work to do in roughly 3 hours that day. Saturday we were supposed to head down to San Francisco to see my sis and Spencer, but because Cole was sick we canceled. Instead I worked on my dance bra with Thalisha. We also got to spend some time with Ticknart, which is always nice. We finally exchanged christmas presents. Sunday I finished my dance bra just in time to make it to troupe photos for bellydancing. We were there for 3 hours. Monday my mom and I drove an hour to go to Target where I bought some bras that don't fit and a rug that is too small, all of which I will have to take back some weekend soon, which is EXACTLY what I need right now. Just exactly. Today I have been trying to catch up on work from last week. I was supposed to go to bellydancing tonight and was really looking forward to it, but the teacher has pneumonia now so class is canceled. Booo. I'm still feeling very overwhelmed and like I may be coming down with something, which would also be FANTASTICALLY convenient. On top of everything is the house stuff that just seems so confusing and monetarily depressing at the moment.

So I wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten all you wonderful, sparkly people out there. I'm just less than sparkly myself right now. I've missed a lot in the last couple of days and I'm trying to catch up on everything. I will get that so called "groove" back one day.

But, dude- what happened to Britney Spears while I was gone? I mean... Dude.

I've got big love for y'all.

I don't mean that in a dirty way. Stop it.

That, despite possible evidence to the contrary (like when I'm feeling cranky. Like... always.), I love my husband very much and have for over 10 years. He gave me a suggestive but humorous card this morning and I liked it very much. And yes, John, I would like to participate with you in a valentine's day with that kind of result. It sounds fun. And yummy.

So to re-cap: husband is loved; card was good; yum.

I know it's commercial and I know it doesn't really mean anything, but I like valentine's day anyway. It makes me feel squishy.

Oh, the Pandaliciousness!


(Really, I will try today to get something more substantial up here. Life = Crazy at the moment.)

Why do I now love this so much?

When my Realtor told me I felt like I was being told all over again that I was in labor. I hope it won't be quite as sticky.

Hey! Yeah! We're in escrow!






omigawd.

President Bush just proposed drastic cuts to NPR and PBS.

We need Congress to save NPR and PBS once and for all.

Can you help out by signing this petition to Congress? It's really easy- just click the link below:

CLICK IT! CLICK IT! CLICK IT!

Yesterday we were told that the final offer was being faxed around and signed and that, barring anything weird, we would be in escrow today.

So YAY!

Except, we've had no word today.

So...huh?

Um...yeah. That's all I know.

Holy Crap!

Does anyone else smell something fishy...?

I'm back today. I went home yesterday with a back that was threatening to leave me immobile and a stomach doing its best to torture me. It just wasn't a good day to be at work.

I was home for most of the day by myself, which was kind of a nice change. I actually READ! I know! Can you believe it?! I got started on the first book of the His Dark Materials series, and I am already in love. I made it about halfway through before I realized that I should get some sleep while I had the chance. It was really hard to put the book down, though. They are meant for a "young adult" audience, but I don't find them juvenile in any way so far. John says they will be making them into a movie. I have to try to read them all before that comes out.

But anyway- I'm back. Not 100%, but here all the same. My lower back is giving me a small slice of hell today, but I just have to deal with it.

Oh yeah, and we go into escrow today. Probably.

In all the craziness, I forgot to mention that I just recently got notice that the Class of 1997: Year of Apathy reunion is in the works. They decided to wait until less than 6 months before they'd like to hold it to gather addresses and actually get started. It's really only fitting.

I think we'll probably go to the Elk's club, drink some beer, and dance badly to recorded music. Perhaps there will be a rousing round of cow-tipping at the end of the night. It would be nice if I could expect something fancier, but I'd just be kidding myself.

But we'll go, if they actually get around to having it.

**It's a movie reference. Do you know it?

Okay- I'm going to let you all in on this because I really need advice and I'd like it from someone who is not directly involved.

Only, I'm going to give it to you in slightly different numbers because talking about money makes me a little queasy. So I'm going to talk about it but not talk about it- okay?

(Numbers have been changed to protect the queasy.)

The asking price for a house is $547,500.

You counter with $520,000.

They counter with $545,000.

You counter with $528,000.

They counter with $539,000.

You counter with $535,000.

They don't accept and refuse to lower their price, but your Realtor will take $2000 off of his fees and THEIR Realtor will take $1000 off of HER fees just to get the insanity to stop.

What do you do?

A) Refuse the offer and walk the fuck away. There will be another house someday.

B) Take the offer. You really, really like this house and, though it will hurt your finances VERY much, CAN actually afford it.

C) Take the offer but ask that they guarantee not to sell to anyone else and that they pay for a Home Warranty.

D) None of the above.

If you choose none of the above you must discuss in essay format. Please cite your references following APA guidelines. Your response may be no longer than 5 pages, single spaced.

You have overnight to finish. Please make sure your name is at the top. In triplicate.

And initial here...

and here...

and here...

and here...

Honestly- I would have updated you guys had there been any news. There was nothing. NOTHING. Y'know- weekends should count in the 3-day period in which they have to answer. It's no fair to make us wait the weekend and then 3 days. No fair at all.

So we have no idea when we might hear. Hmpf.

Last night Cole did a faceplant into the pergo. I turned around , not realizing he was there, and he tripped over the toe of my shoe. He had things in both hands so he wasn't able to break his fall properly. His hands slid out sideways and his face make a sickening wet smack sound on the floor. I picked him up and flipped him over and saw that his lip was already purple and was bleeding. Then my head blew up and I died. The end.

We applied copious amounts of grape popsicle and nuzzling. We distracted with books. The only thing we didn't do, idiots that we are, is give him any pain medicine. DOH! His swollen, black-and-blue gums weren't bad enough without pain meds- we have to give him a fat lip too. Builds Character!

After he was finished with his popsicle and snuggled in his grandfather's lap reading books, I felt like all of the blood rushed out of my head. Really- it was like my eyes were sinking in, and my head was tingling as if it had gone to sleep. Like I slept on it funny and cut off the circulation.

After that episode was over (during which I actually turned down the back-rub my mom was giving me because I was so high-strung that it hurt to be touched), I was just worn out. I could have gone to bed that instant. Cole must have been worn out too, because he slept without moving through the night.

He was extra cranky-pants this morning. I don't blame him.

It makes me realize even more than ever before how exhausting it must be to have a child with a chronic disease/problem. It's not a quick crisis-then-over kind of situation; it's a constant worry/wait/worry/wait/crisis!/worry/wait (repeat forever). At least, that's what I imagine. It seems like you'd be living your life with that hanging over everything. I can't imagine how wasted I would be if I had to live with that. I hope I never have to find out.

Anyway, it was a GORGEOUS weekend out here in California, which was wonderful but also frightening. If we don't get some rain it's going to be the worst year of drought in a long time. And I STILL have trouble flushing the toilet for just pee after the drought of my childhood. If it's yellow- let it mellow! If it's brown- flush it down!!

And I just had this unbelievable craving for a cheeseburger with pickles and onions only from McDonald's. I haven't had anything from McDonald's for about 17 years or so. Huh... wonder where that came from?

We countered the house offer at just $4000 under their offer. We're going for it. Our Realtor said they'd be stupid not to take it.

Damn I hope they take it.

In my head I have already moved in, arranged all my stuff, and possibly even spilled something on the rug. I'll TOTALLY clean that up tomorrow, I swear.

My mother has even remembered the name of the road. I think we've moved in in HER head, too.

I now get physically ill whenever I think about it. It's not the money- it's the waiting; it's the unknown; it's the anticipation.

Anyway.

As a diversion I decided to count all the words that Cole can say. As of this morning, and I'm not sure it's a complete list, he could say 71. Not bad, I think. And he says them well, too. He articulates very nicely.

I'll let you know if I get any news.

My sister is such a brat. But she's awesome.

So anyway, the house: Not Yet Ours.

They came back and countered our counter, those asses. Now they are just $4000 above what we feel like we really want to pay for this place. They also claim that it's absolutely as far as they can go.

Whatever.

What's up with all these people thinking that they can get so much money for houses still? Those days are over!

So now I'm all tied up in knots of anxiety and stress and o-my-gawd-I-think-I-might-puke-ness over whether we should try to counter again with as high a number as we feel we could swing, or if we should just tell them where they can stick it and wait for the next house.

I'm so tired of waiting.

I'm so tired of looking. I'm so tired of wondering where we will be next. I'm tired of the games, I'm tired of the Realtors, I'm tired of signing my name.

Goddammit- I just want it to be over. It's not fun, it's not exciting, I'm not happy. I am getting stressed to what feels like my breaking point. I'm starting to wonder if $4000 is really worth fighting over when it fucks me up this much.

Gaahhhhh....

Perhaps I should make up a t-shirt that says "Please excuse my erratic, irrational, and inappropriate behavior- I'm trying to buy a house."

Until it's over, I'll be the one in the corner with the box of tissues.