HEELS

I notice some belly dance moves in there, along with... who the fuck knows what. Please, I'm begging you, kill me before I become this. Thank you for your mercy.

That said, I am contemplating learning this dance just for the sheer kitsch value. Too fucking funny.

"Gardening" with mama:


Even when he's filthy, I just love that little booger.


KISSY!KISSY!KISSY!!!
NO, MAMA!!

You Have Not Been Ruined by American Culture

You're nothing like the typical American. In fact, you may not be American at all. You have a broad view of the world, and you're very well informed. And while you certainly have been influenced by American culture (who hasn't?), it's not your primary influence. You take a more global philosophy with your politics, taste, and life. And you're always expanding and revising what you believe.

Has American Culture Ruined You?

Good to know, I suppose.

Covered in tomato sauce, watermelon, and reaction from a sunscreen. All together- kinda gross and kinda adorable.

A pox has been put upon me! Uh... I mean I've been tagged.

(Actually, thanks, Princess, I needed this to get my mind off of other things today!)

Five Snacks You Enjoy:
1. Homemade Chex Mix

2. Blueberries

3. Ree's Hummus

4. Goat Cheese and Garlic Bagel Chips

5. Doritos (but I NEVER let myself have them)

(I could keep going here...)

Five Songs That You Know All The Lyrics To:
1. Summertime

2. Lover Man

3. Sugar in my bowl

4. Black is the color of my true love's hair

5. Let's hear it for the boy (I had to have something other than jazz songs in there)

Five Things You Would Do If You Were a Millionaire:
1. Pay off loans

2. Get family settled

3. Carefully invest

4. Start college funds for all family kids

5. Still work, though maybe not do what I do now.

Five Bad Habits:
1. Forgetting to put food away after dinner

2. Forgetting about laundry in the washing machine

3. Binge eating while upset

4. Self-deprecating humor

5. Not following though

Five Things You Like To Do:
1. Dance

2. Eat

3. Watch movies

4. Cook

5. Be with my family

Five Things You Would Never Wear Again:
1. Jellies

2. Gauchos (Does it count that I never wore them in the first place?)

3. Babydoll dresses

4. Suede Jacket with fringe

5. Corset from my wedding (that thing gave me a fist-sized, swollen bruise on my ribs)

Five Favorite Toys:
1. Immersion Blender

2. Spray nozzle on my garden hose

3. Sewing Machine

4. Serger

5. Performance make-up kit (that's the only time I wear it)

There you go. That was a lot better than anything you would get fresh from my brain today, anyway. And now we're so much closer!

I wanted to show you all my brand new business card. I'm very excited because I've never had business cards before, especially ones that my company paid for (I think I probably drew a few for myself when I was a kid). These are so pretty and I really wanted to show them off and brag.

But then I realized that there were very few sections of my card that I could actually show and maintain my feeling of slight anonymity (HA!).

So, I present to you my internet safe card:

Isn't it pretty?

When I got up this morning, I went, as usual, to the bathroom to pee before I got in the shower. When I got up from the toilet, I happened to glance in the bowl and had to do a double take. My pee had turned the toilet water a rosy-peach color.

I started thinking- what in the world could do that? It didn't hurt to pee, so I doubt it's a UTI or bladder infection. I didn't eat or drink anything yesterday with lots of red 40 or something like that. So what the hell is going on?

Obviously, I came to the conclusion that I was dying, and spent my shower planning to call the doctor and composing my goodbye speeches to my loved ones.

It wasn't until I was out of the shower and toweling off my hair that I realized that I had beets with dinner last night.

................................................................

So how are you?

So yes, we went out on Friday. And yes, we had a really good time. We spent WAY too much money for a single night out (restaurants around here seem to think that they are in San Francisco or something with kind of prices they are charging- it's getting ridiculous!), but we all agreed that we'd have to do it again, though maybe we'd choose somewhere cheaper. A lot cheaper. But, there are worse ways to spend a payday in which your husband clocked 24.5 hours of overtime!

Cole's babysitter was great. Cole had a harder time letting us go than I thought he would. When John and I were leaving and saying goodbye, Cole started saying goodbye and waving- but it was to the babysitter, not us. He thought that he was coming with us and that Katy was just going to hang at our house, maybe to watch after the dog. We had to explain to him that he was going to stay at home and play and have a really good time. This "suggestion" was not exactly appreciated by the baby mister, but I don't think he actually fussed for long. And I'm sure that he had a good time overall.

I was the classic frantic mother before we left, streaming verbal garbage non-stop at the poor babysitter. I just couldn't stop talking, telling her things that she wouldn't have to know and things she already knew. I'm a worst case scenario type of person, so I left her money, the car with the carseat, Cole's important medical information (weight, exact age, blood type, possible allergies, etc.) stopping just short of writing her a letter giving her the ability to make emergency medical decisions. But I thought about it.

What I didn't do, though, was call to check in. Not once. I eyed my phone a couple of times thinking I would just call for a quick update, but I didn't. I trust this babysitter and didn't want to give her the impression that I thought any less of her than I do. I knew everything was okay and that she had all of our phone numbers if something wasn't. I'm bad, but I'm not that bad.

John, very kindly, was our designated driver, allowing me to get my drink on have a couple of manhattans (yum!). I can't remember the last time I've had a drink in a bar or a restaurant. It was at least 2.5 years ago. It's a fun thing to do every once in a while.

Lavay Smith was good, too. I don't really think she's that hot of a singer- she's all right and at least has one of the lower voices of many female vocalists out there- but her band rocks. THe pianist played a really fantastic boogie-woogie song that made it sound like there were a couple more of him on stage.

The one unfortunate part of the evening was that I realized that a pair of my favorite heels are really, officially too small. They'd always been a bit small, but it was never that big of a deal. Now they are just too tight and I'm not enough of a masochist to enjoy squishing into them anymore. Fair warning to husband: They WILL need to be replaced.

Tonight John and I will be leaving Cole with a babysitter for the first time. Well, technically it's the second time, but it's the first time that we won't be across the street and able to check in whenever the paranoid mama light comes on. And that thing flashes like crazy whenever I'm away from him.

And yes, I realize that he has been in daycare for over a year now and that I leave him with someone for 9.5 hours every week day, but this just feels different. I'm not sure why exactly, but it does.

The girl who will be looking after him is the same one who watched him the last time. She is the daughter of another employee here and a very nice person. I feel very safe leaving Cole with her.

But I can't seem to shake the mommy guilt. I feel awful that I will be leaving him for a night to merely go out to dinner and see Lavay Smith and the Red Hot Skillet Lickers. Is it really worth it? How can one measure the worthiness of the two options- staying at home with my beautiful baby boy or going out with my loving husband and two good friends?

I'm probably over-thinking this.

I mean, it will be the first time since Cole was born that John and I have gone anywhere together without him. That's nearly 19 months without some quality mommy-and-daddy-out-of-the-house-with-friends time. Should I just mark this one in the "Doing our best to preserve Mommy's sanity for as long as possible" column (we won't discuss whether it's already too late for that)?

Now I've begun to wonder whether I can really enjoy myself what with all the guilt. All I'll be thinking about is how SURELY something is going wrong and my precious BAAYBEEE!!!!! is without his mama and hurting and needing me.

And then I'll come home and find out that, not only did he have a fantastic time, but he'd really rather like to go and live with the babysitter, who is so obviously more fun than his tired, boring, old mom.

I'm not sure I really like either option, thank you very much.

I'm being paranoid, right? Right?

So, how do you feel about leaving your beautiful children? And side question: what does one wear to dinner and swing dancing?

Yesterday I had the dubious honor of representing my company at a local golf course for a charity tournament. No, I didn't actually play. Instead, I got to sit in between the 4th and 16th holes with a table of snacks and cold drinks. All day. Oh, and did I mention that it got into the triple digits here yesterday? Yeah- it was fucking hot. And did you know that even if you sit under a pop-up tent all day and only leave once to go to the bathroom you can get one of the worst sunburns you've had in years? That's right- in the goddamned SHADE!! WTF?!? Look- I understand if I were on a boat or skiing or something then I might get the glare from the water/snow and get a burn that way. But I was on dark green grass. Where's the glare? Huh?! How the hell did I get a sunburn?

That's a true test of how Irish one might be: if you get a fucking sunburn in the fucking shade. Fuck.

And it was a worthless day, marketing-wise. I'm not really clear why the decision was made to sponsor this dumb table. I think it must have had something to do with the dumb girl who was running marketing previously. I think it was probably just an excuse for her to get away from the office for a day and work on her tan. Of course SHE could tan.

I'm going to be making some big changes around here. This is an employee owned company and I don't need my profits being spent on dumb shit like golf. I hate golf.

Driving the golf cart was really fun though!

Ooo- I also had my first ever business cards ordered yesterday. I'm so excited! I feel so important. I'm sure that'll wear off pretty quickly.

I went to a new dance class last night. I was somewhat disappointed. The class was short, it was low energy, and I didn't really feel like I got a good workout. I may go again, but I think I'll stay with my other class for the time being. I like that it's about 2.5 hours and that we really work the whole time. An hour long class is just not enough. If it hadn't been a frillion degrees in the room I wouldn't have even broken a sweat. Meh- I was really hoping for something new.

I'm working on some choreography right now. I'm actually really excited about it. I'm pretty sure that I'll be dancing with two of my favorite ladies and to a song that is a lot of fun. I don't want to give anything away yet, but I've been thinking about it constantly. It's been very distracting.

And that's about it for now.

That's all I have time for at the moment.

Yesterday, while Cole was napping, I was watching High Fidelity and folding clothes. Cole woke up and I brought him back out to the living room with me. He was drinking from his bottle and gazing at the tv when Catherine Zeta Jones' character came on. He sat up, pointed and said "Mama! Mama!"

He's a kiss-ass already.

(Thanks, baby-doll, for thinking your momma could ever look like that. And for the ego-boost.)

I don't think I showed y'all a picture of my glasses yet. Shame on me!

What do you think- with or without?

We learned this song at Strawberry.






Buuuurrrrrp! from Heels on Vimeo

John hasn't quite grasped the concept of making sure the CUTE ONE that everybody actually wants to see is filmed, rather than the hulking monster who would rather hide in the corner. We'll work on that. I wish you could see Cole's face as he does that burp sound. It would melt your heart.

It's all complaints and boring, downer, life stuff. But because you asked...

Cole has a burst ear-drum. Poop. Poor little booger. No wonder he was such a monster on Sunday night- it was just getting ready to pop. That must hurt like a sunovabitch! I never really had ear infections when I was little, so I don't really know.

I knew something was wrong on Sunday afternoon when we were coming back from John's tux fitting. Cole was kind of listless, quiet, and not wanting food. When I put him back in his carseat after our late lunch, he felt really warm. I gave him some tylenol and he was quiet/sleeping all the way home.

That night, I put him to bed like usual, but he would toss and turn for a little while and then stand wailing in his crib until I could get to him. I took pity on him and let him sleep with us that night. He seemed comforted by sleeping with his head on my neck. It was less than comforting for me.

His daycare lady said that he was just not himself yesterday- way too quiet and not hungry. Last night he seemed to get quite a bit better, but I guess that was after the infection popped.

So he's on the damn antibiotics again. I hate antibiotics, but I don't know what else to do. I don't like messing around with ears; his hearing is too precious. I just feel like maybe they could help me with prevention rather than dosing him after the fact.

Since then he's developed a nasty cough and keeps himself up at night. I will blame some of my lack of motivation on having to get up in the middle of the night to cram cough medicine down an extremely reluctant but very strong toddler's throat. That is not something one should have to do at 4:00 am.

And now I feel the cough tickle coming on. I'm thrilled. Completely. Can't you tell?

I want a pop-tart.

Work has been interesting. I have a new position but, because it hasn't been announced to the rest of the company, I still feel unsettled. It could also have something to do with not having a real job description or any training to speak of. It's a strange place to be in. I think I will really like this position once I get rolling, but right now I just feel like going home and burying my head in a pillow. It's bringing out the hyper-avoidant traits I tend toward anyway, which is really not a good thing.

And I'm tired.

And there's still drama in my dance troupe, which doesn't actually have anything to do with me, but still has made for some uncomfortable moments. I think I'm taking it too hard. All I want to do is dance.

We have a wedding to go to at the end of the month which I'm really looking forward to, but is costing us a good bit of money. Our friend is worth it, but it does make the budget awfully squeaky. I'm totally planning on using it as an excuse for family photos, though. It will also be the first time I'll see John in a tux in person. I've seen pictures of the elusive beast, but I can't wait to be able to see the real thing. I may not be able to contain myself. He should be prepared to be licked.

So that's it. I'm a big old ball of... meh.

However, I'm a a big old ball of meh that now officially fits into her skinniest pre-pregnancy pants. So that's something.

Last week, the high school here in town (the one I happened to graduate from) held their 2007 graduation.

It seems that, to honor a beloved art teacher who died during this past school year, they had a flame-lighting ceremony where 4 students with long bbq lighters lit a lamp at the same time.

Lovely, right?

Except that it seems a bit insensitive when you find out that the teacher they were honoring died because his house exploded in a BALL of FLAMES and he died of extreme burns over 80% of his body.

Is it just me, or do you think maybe flowers or some nice little water feature would have been more appropriate? Maybe it's just me...